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Author Topic: Random Puns  (Read 144294 times)

RedWolf4

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1550 on: 06 Mar 2016, 09:22 »

We really gotta stop holden onto these puns guys, or at least put them in spoilers.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1551 on: 06 Mar 2016, 12:31 »

That's a Noble sentiment RedWolf4.
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James The Kugai 

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1552 on: 06 Mar 2016, 12:40 »

I expected resistance.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1553 on: 06 Mar 2016, 12:44 »

I guess we've shocked you then
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1554 on: 06 Mar 2016, 18:45 »

Wire you saying that?
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1555 on: 06 Mar 2016, 20:50 »

This conversation is certainly living up to its potential.

Wire you saying that?

Probably because you're normally so grounded.

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1556 on: 06 Mar 2016, 21:11 »

Ohmgee, you guys, wire we doing this, even
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1557 on: 07 Mar 2016, 03:21 »

Hey, you're a repeater.  8-)

Time for a joke.

Arnold Schoenberg walks into a bar.
"I'll have a gin please, but no tonic."
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I enjoyed the laughter, old poets, as you welcomed me.
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You won't be, either.

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1558 on: 07 Mar 2016, 03:46 »

René Descartes walked into a bar and ordered a drink. After he drank it, the bartender asked if he wanted another. "I think not," he said, and immediately ceased to exist.
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They call me Mr. Madness.

Quote from: Polonius
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MR ARCHIVE-FU MADNESS
Does anybody really know what time it is?
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1559 on: 07 Mar 2016, 10:33 »

OUR EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH CONMAN

R: Thank you for letting me be the first to interview you in your underground fortress. I notice that, like Batman, instead of a building that sticks out of the ground you've chosen a lair with an entrance that curves inward.
C: Yes, I call it the Concave.
R: This looks challenging to keep going. How do you get fresh air, for example?
C: There's a large air pipe to the nunnery at ground level, the Convent.
R: Do you rely on utility power?
C: No, I have my own nuclear plant, the Confusion reactor.
R: I notice you have a lot of scientific equipment and instruments. Do you run experiments here?
C: Yes, often.
R: I saw a bunch of large dumb-looking creatures under the bridge on the way here. Were they one of your experiments?
C: Just the opposite, that was the Controll Group.
R: How self-sufficient are you?
C: I even grow my own crops, under artificial light.
R: That's a really large field. Isn't it too big for you to take care of by hand?
C: Absolutely, which is why I hire a Contractor.
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"Non-compliance is a social skill"
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1560 on: 21 Mar 2016, 17:14 »

Today I learned that you should never believe an atom. They make up everything.
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I enjoyed the laughter, old poets, as you welcomed me.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1561 on: 21 Mar 2016, 21:48 »

Today I learned that you should never believe an atom. They make up everything.

I'd say it wasn't important, but this... Guys, atoms, they matter.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1562 on: 21 Mar 2016, 21:49 »

Today I learned that you should never believe an atom. They make up everything.
I began a plan to lose weight. I want to be an atomizer.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1563 on: 22 Mar 2016, 09:03 »

I'm pretty positive the atoms in my body are losing electrons.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1564 on: 22 Mar 2016, 13:45 »

That's a shocking thought
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1565 on: 22 Mar 2016, 13:56 »

This conversation has become such a Bohr. Let's go Plancking! or maybe see Straight Outta Compton?
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1566 on: 23 Mar 2016, 15:37 »

I've decided that warm and happy is preferable to hot and cross.
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I enjoyed the laughter, old poets, as you welcomed me.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1567 on: 23 Mar 2016, 15:42 »

Dorothy was sick one day, and the Cowardly Lion had accidentally angered her when he ran away afraid. So she deliberately infected him with her illness. The lesson: don't cross Dot, she's a vector.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1568 on: 23 Mar 2016, 15:46 »

Geometry/calculus/numbers puns? Godammit, as an unintelligent troglodyte, I will  KICK your math.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1569 on: 23 Mar 2016, 16:47 »

Typical. I post about food, and someone goes off on a tangent.
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I enjoyed the laughter, old poets, as you welcomed me.
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You won't be, either.

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1570 on: 23 Mar 2016, 17:28 »

It's a sine!
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They call me Mr. Madness.

Quote from: Polonius
Though this be madness, yet there is method in't.
MR ARCHIVE-FU MADNESS
Does anybody really know what time it is?
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

Tova

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1571 on: 23 Mar 2016, 18:14 »

Yes, to a degree.
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I enjoyed the laughter, old poets, as you welcomed me.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1572 on: 23 Mar 2016, 19:34 »

Wait, you're agreeing with me? What's your angle?
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They call me Mr. Madness.

Quote from: Polonius
Though this be madness, yet there is method in't.
MR ARCHIVE-FU MADNESS
Does anybody really know what time it is?
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

chaospersonified

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1573 on: 23 Mar 2016, 21:17 »

My angle is acute little thing, with her rosy cheeks and wings and halo, et. You might call her 'heavenly,' if you believe in such stuff
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1574 on: 23 Mar 2016, 22:37 »

Sharp question, but I'm afraid I can't tell you except to say that it's integral to my schemes.
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I enjoyed the laughter, old poets, as you welcomed me.
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You won't be, either.

Neko_Ali

Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1575 on: 24 Mar 2016, 07:00 »

Now now... there's no need to be divisive here. Can't we all just add our knowledge together?
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Kugai

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1576 on: 24 Mar 2016, 15:17 »

Or at least be able to run in parallel
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James The Kugai 

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1577 on: 25 Mar 2016, 01:59 »

If we work at it, I think we can reach congruence.
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I enjoyed the laughter, old poets, as you welcomed me.
But I won't be staying here for long.
You won't be, either.

Is it cold in here?

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1578 on: 05 Apr 2016, 20:59 »

The big game hunter bagged a once-in-a-lifetime specimen of a tiger and sent the carcass to the taxidermist to have the head stuffed and mounted.

The taxidermist screwed up and stuffed and mounted the rear end instead.

The hunter cried out "This is a catastrophe!".
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"Non-compliance is a social skill"
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In your face, darkness!  We are the light and we outnumber you!

chaospersonified

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1579 on: 05 Apr 2016, 21:14 »

Not feline this one.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1580 on: 06 Apr 2016, 11:49 »

Now the hunter uses it as a towel holder.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1581 on: 06 Apr 2016, 15:39 »

That's one hoopy frood then.
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James The Kugai 

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1582 on: 21 Apr 2016, 13:08 »

Was Balaam an example of talking out of one's ass?
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chaospersonified

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1583 on: 22 Apr 2016, 09:31 »

Was Balaam an example of talking out of one's ass?

I'd point out that, strictly speaking, it was GOD talking out of his ass (currently Balaam's possession) but then I would risk people pointing out it's possible the entire scripture is such.


I'm going to hell for saying this, but that Roman centurion at the end of the gospels really nailed it.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1584 on: 22 Apr 2016, 13:15 »

Someone might get cross with you.
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"Non-compliance is a social skill"
Quote from: an unnamed minister's sermon
In your face, darkness!  We are the light and we outnumber you!

Method of Madness

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1585 on: 22 Apr 2016, 13:18 »

Yeah, but give it three days and all will be ok.
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They call me Mr. Madness.

Quote from: Polonius
Though this be madness, yet there is method in't.
MR ARCHIVE-FU MADNESS
Does anybody really know what time it is?
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

chaospersonified

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1586 on: 22 Apr 2016, 20:09 »

Jesus, this is getting out of hole-pierced hand. I mean, I'm glad this thread has seen such a resurrection!
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Kugai

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1587 on: 22 Apr 2016, 23:33 »

I didn't doubt it would.
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James The Kugai 

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1588 on: 23 Apr 2016, 06:00 »

Gee, thanks, Thomas.
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Kugai

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1589 on: 23 Apr 2016, 14:37 »

You're welcome - and yes, one of my middle names is Thomas :-D
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James The Kugai 

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1590 on: 23 Apr 2016, 23:51 »

I wouldn't doubt you.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1591 on: 24 Apr 2016, 13:33 »

You're a rock there then :D
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James The Kugai 

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1592 on: 24 Apr 2016, 16:00 »

I can't let this line of thought Peter out. It's apostible.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1593 on: 24 Apr 2016, 21:57 »

Mark my words. The gospel of this thread will survive for generations to come.
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Kugai

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1594 on: 24 Apr 2016, 23:53 »

Indeed, since it's genesis was 32 pages ago and shows no sign of any end times.
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James The Kugai 

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Neko_Ali

Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1595 on: 25 Apr 2016, 08:15 »

Look, let's not beat around the burning bush here. I mean, holy heck. Nobody here's got time for a sermon you know?
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1596 on: 25 Apr 2016, 13:05 »

Indeed, since it's genesis was 32 pages ago and shows no sign of any end times.

I'd call this a revelation, but it seems pretty common sense. It'd take an act of God to stop this thread.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1597 on: 25 Apr 2016, 14:02 »

I really wish you made that joke 60+ pages later, so I could say "you rang?" and lock it (before starting a new one).

Of course, I'm a minor god at best, but still! Opportunity lost.

I'll just put that thought in a basket and push it down the river for now.
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They call me Mr. Madness.

Quote from: Polonius
Though this be madness, yet there is method in't.
MR ARCHIVE-FU MADNESS
Does anybody really know what time it is?
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

Kugai

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1598 on: 25 Apr 2016, 14:45 »

Hmmmm

Wouldn't that take 40 days and 40 nights to reach?
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James The Kugai 

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Neko_Ali

Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1599 on: 25 Apr 2016, 15:09 »

Man, I hope not. Otherwise the mods are going to get flooded with complaints.
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