Topic: Random Puns (Read 413650 times)

Tova · « **Reply #1951 on:** 08 Feb 2020, 16:10 »

pain staking would be driving a stake through the heart of a baguette also that so-called "pun" doesn't work at all when you read it out aloud nggghghhhhhhhh

cybersmurf · « **Reply #1952 on:** 10 Feb 2020, 14:44 »

Quote from: Tova on 08 Feb 2020, 16:10

pain staking would be driving a stake through the heart of a baguette also that so-called "pun" doesn't work at all when you read it out aloud nggghghhhhhhhh

Go away, you with your inpainatrable logic!

Tova · « **Reply #1953 on:** 10 Feb 2020, 23:05 »

nggghghhhhhhhh

bhtooefr · « **Reply #1954 on:** 11 Feb 2020, 02:35 »

Is Roko pansexual?

cybersmurf · « **Reply #1955 on:** 13 Feb 2020, 08:04 »

Is a melody that makes you fall asleep a naptune?

Akima · « **Reply #1956 on:** 14 Feb 2020, 03:56 »

Why should justice be cold?

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RedWolf4 · « **Reply #1957 on:** 14 Feb 2020, 04:15 »

You take your like and you get out.

cybersmurf · « **Reply #1958 on:** 14 Feb 2020, 09:05 »

What's a vacuum's favourite dance?

The roomba.

Tova · « **Reply #1959 on:** 24 Feb 2020, 23:49 »

A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.

The rabbit says, I think I might be a type o.

cybersmurf · « **Reply #1960 on:** 27 Feb 2020, 02:56 »

Bloody hell.

LTK · « **Reply #1961 on:** 01 Mar 2020, 06:37 »

No matter how meaty you are, a falling star is meteor.

TorporChambre · « **Reply #1962 on:** 18 Mar 2020, 23:56 »

Indian taxors discovered a northern dwarf who, supernaturally, made alotta taxfree. When asked about his sharp double-entendre rejoindery, by which he eludes prosecution, his only comment was ``I eat Punjabi for breakfast.''

Quote from: Loki on 27 Jul 2013, 14:54

Brute force is neither a solution nor a base for one.

At least I'm not a mid-range computer + low-end pen.

LeeC · « **Reply #1963 on:** 16 Apr 2020, 18:11 »

How do glasses help you with math?

(click to show/hide)

Also these sailor moon fan comics are just great:
https://imgur.com/t/sailor_venus/f8TH7

I've never seen the show, but this comic makes Sailor Venus my favorite.

cesium133 · « **Reply #1964 on:** 08 May 2020, 08:07 »

I went to Southern California and had breakfast on the beach. It was the worst waffle I ever had: a sandy Eggo.

jwhouk · « **Reply #1965 on:** 08 May 2020, 11:48 »

Quote from: cesium133 on 08 May 2020, 08:07

I went to Southern California and had breakfast on the beach. It was the worst waffle I ever had: a sandy Eggo.

Stay classy, Cesium.

LeeC · « **Reply #1966 on:** 24 May 2020, 21:15 »

cybersmurf · « **Reply #1967 on:** 27 May 2020, 04:46 »

I felt I didn't know enough about excavating, so I got myself a digtionary.

Case · « **Reply #1968 on:** 27 May 2020, 06:24 »

Quote from: cybersmurf on 27 May 2020, 04:46

I felt I didn't know enough about excavating, so I got myself a digtionary.

*Glares daggers into cybersmurf*

Tova · « **Reply #1969 on:** 27 May 2020, 16:14 »

That pun paid off in spaaaaaaheyheyheygeddawayfrommeCase

RedWolf4 · « **Reply #1970 on:** 28 May 2020, 01:33 »

Miner complaint, but we're kinda hitting rock bottom here aren't we?

Tova · « **Reply #1971 on:** 28 May 2020, 05:05 »

There are depths not yet plumbed. Dig?

RedWolf4 · « **Reply #1972 on:** 28 May 2020, 07:00 »

cybersmurf · « **Reply #1973 on:** 28 May 2020, 09:26 »

If I hurt myself in autumn, does that count as fall damage?

Tova · « **Reply #1974 on:** 28 May 2020, 18:22 »

In Australia, if you fall while you march, April may.

LeeC · « **Reply #1975 on:** 06 Jun 2020, 19:38 »

How do you cut the Roman Empire in half? You use Caesars!

Tova · « **Reply #1976 on:** 07 Jun 2020, 20:03 »

Please tell me that’s not how you pronounce scissors.

cybersmurf · « **Reply #1977 on:** 14 Jul 2020, 12:24 »

Stolen, but makes me chuckle every time:

What's the difference between the bird flu, and the swine flu?
One needs tweetment, the other one needs oinkment.

Akima · « **Reply #1978 on:** 15 Jul 2020, 18:46 »

Are you going too watch the World Origami Championships?

(click to show/hide)

RedWolf4 · « **Reply #1979 on:** 15 Jul 2020, 21:15 »

I imagine it got exactly as wooden a response then as it did now.

TorporChambre · « **Reply #1980 on:** 25 Jul 2020, 21:22 »

Exoärchæologialitally thrown the 4^th Solfrom my boredom mortescent; an abandoned post-case textile recrescent, memorially by contemporaries' despite me initiative's reëxcavation, dignitaries observed.

cybersmurf · « **Reply #1981 on:** 26 Jul 2020, 11:31 »

Have you heard about the new hip apple based alcoholic beverage?
It's an in cider.

cesium133 · « **Reply #1982 on:** 01 Aug 2020, 09:32 »

https://old.reddit.com/r/madisonwi/comments/i1khcf/i_request_the_friendship_of_this_homes_occupants/

Akima · « **Reply #1983 on:** 28 Aug 2020, 23:38 »

Astronaut Boris: "I can't find the milk for my tea!"
Astronaut Alice: "In space no one can. Here, use cream."

Pilchard123 · « **Reply #1984 on:** 29 Aug 2020, 03:00 »

I'm torn. Should I like that or report it?

RedWolf4 · « **Reply #1985 on:** 29 Aug 2020, 03:17 »

Either way so long as Darjeeling with it, the rest of us don't have to worry about it.

cesium133 · « **Reply #1986 on:** 03 Sep 2020, 07:10 »

厚目眠子 · « **Reply #1987 on:** 04 Sep 2020, 23:58 »

I don't like trying new things, but I decided to try a pack of something that is not quite black tea. They shipped a case of it. It's bins oolong since I had tea that I like.

Gnabberwocky · « **Reply #1988 on:** 05 Sep 2020, 18:29 »

Quote from: 厚目眠子 on 04 Sep 2020, 23:58

I don't like trying new things, but I decided to try a pack of something that is not quite black tea. They shipped a case of it. It's bins oolong since I had tea that I like.

Always assam to have something you enjoy.

Tova · « **Reply #1989 on:** 05 Sep 2020, 19:55 »

Sorry, you two, but Akima has now raised the bar for groanworthy puns.

厚目眠子 · « **Reply #1990 on:** 05 Sep 2020, 21:52 »

A few months ago, a lawyer entered the bar. To celebrate, the lawyer walked into a bar and overheard the bartender harassing a horse about the shape of it's face. The lawyer convinced the horse to sue the bar for discriminatory practices. They discover other discriminatory practices, such as refusing service to a string who subsequently suffered a mid-life crisis involving self-harm. This bar settled the class-action suit out of court. The lawyer now lies unconscious. Cut to eyewitness---cut back to the reporter, turn to lawyer regaining consciousness: "ouch."

Gyrre · « **Reply #1991 on:** 25 Sep 2020, 04:46 »

What did the nervous Roman soldier pray when he offered a piece of albacore to the approaching storm?

"Hail for tuna."

bhtooefr · « **Reply #1992 on:** 25 Sep 2020, 10:55 »

Seen online:

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Gyrre · « **Reply #1993 on:** 26 Sep 2020, 03:12 »

Quote from: bhtooefr on 25 Sep 2020, 10:55

Seen online:

(click to show/hide)

Guess I'm still too sheltered in regards to drugs to get this one.

Tova · « **Reply #1994 on:** 26 Sep 2020, 04:05 »

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Gyrre · « **Reply #1995 on:** 28 Sep 2020, 00:12 »

Quote from: Tova on 26 Sep 2020, 04:05

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The terms on the brownies refer to cryptographic hash algorithms.

Ah.

Farideh · « **Reply #1996 on:** 28 Sep 2020, 01:17 »

Quote from: Tova on 26 Sep 2020, 04:05

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The terms on the brownies refer to cryptographic hash algorithms.

Ah! I just kept thinking about encryption standards.

TorporChambre · « **Reply #1997 on:** 07 Oct 2020, 21:00 »

They've made a first lycanthorpe, once our octothorpe unlycanthrope---would be yet were wolves unhumanizate.

snubnose · « **Reply #1998 on:** 08 Oct 2020, 06:08 »

Quote from: Tova on 26 Sep 2020, 04:05

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The terms on the brownies refer to cryptographic hash algorithms.

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Dandi Andi · « **Reply #1999 on:** 08 Oct 2020, 07:02 »

Quote from: snubnose on 08 Oct 2020, 06:08

Quote from: Tova on 26 Sep 2020, 04:05
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The terms on the brownies refer to cryptographic hash algorithms.
(click to show/hide)
Not completely true.

While SHA1 and MD5 are indeed old and both also broken cryptographic hash functions, HMAC is an algorithm based on any such functions to verify the integrity and authenticity of a document.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HMAC

I believe an old joke is appropriate here.

Jokes are a lot like frogs. You might learn something by dissecting them, but they never survive the process.

THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

Author Topic: Random Puns (Read 413650 times)