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Author Topic: Random Puns  (Read 258327 times)

Is it cold in here?

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #2050 on: 04 Jan 2022, 09:03 »

Santa brought me an Apple Watch. It has an Activity app which tracks progress toward user-defined goals on minutes of brisk exercise, calories spent moving around, and how often I get up and move around.

It's on a circular display, so it displays circular progress bars. Meeting a goal is referred to as closing a ring.

I'd finished two of three daily goals and sent email to my computery friends that I was two-ring complete.
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LeeC

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #2051 on: 12 Jan 2022, 18:55 »

Was watching a youtube video about Napoleonic War Cavalry and came across this gem in the comment section:


Why were the Polish considered to make the best lancers?


Because lances are pole-arms, of course!
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You see, there are still faint glimmers of civilization left in this barbaric slaughterhouse that was once known as humanity. Indeed that's what we provide in our own modest, humble, insignificant... oh, fuck it. - M. Gustave

Is it cold in here?

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #2052 on: 13 Jan 2022, 00:05 »

I texted my wife a picture of the two outer circles complete and said "What does this make me?".

She said it meant I was in the inner circle.
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Gyrre

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #2053 on: 19 Jan 2022, 20:25 »

Santa brought me an Apple Watch. It has an Activity app which tracks progress toward user-defined goals on minutes of brisk exercise, calories spent moving around, and how often I get up and move around.

It's on a circular display, so it displays circular progress bars. Meeting a goal is referred to as closing a ring.

I'd finished two of three daily goals and sent email to my computery friends that I was two-ring complete.

 I'm torn between  :claireface: and (-_-).
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a real-ass gaddam sword
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"Broken swords and dragon bones scattered on the way back home."

Too stubborn to die, just like the rest of my family.

Morituri

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #2054 on: 22 Jan 2022, 05:22 »

When we say things like "Void where prohibited" and "Think outside the box" we hope our cats disobey.
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Is it cold in here?

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #2055 on: 25 Feb 2022, 14:34 »

I've just started studying French, and I had an idea.

It's to start an e-commerce site delivering jokes.

It would be called amusant.com.
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Is it cold in here?

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #2056 on: 20 Mar 2022, 15:35 »

Happy French Language Day!

The children's song "Alouette" features someone who, in every verse, tells the songbird it's nice and then says he's going to pluck the feathers off part of it.

I wondered why someone would decide to do something so hostile after saying the songbird was nice. But then I realized.

Maybe he was doing it on a lark.
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RedWolf4

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #2057 on: 28 Mar 2022, 05:49 »

Hopefully, otherwise they were being a right tit.
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Winner and reigning champion of the award for 'Best Nigh-Constant Look of Disgust and Bewilderment 2018, 2020 and 2020 Endurance Round Part 2'.
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