Topic: Random Puns (Read 412339 times)

ChaoSera · « **on:** 17 Jul 2013, 04:23 »

Welcome, people! If you're up for groaning and facepalming over bad and even worse puns, you've come to the right place. Whenever a pun just pops into your head, just come here and let it out - you won't even have to tip the pun jar.

Basically I just thought it'd be nice to have a thread full of puns, wordplays and general bad jokes.

And to start this of, I'd like to mention, that if I were a greek god, my name would be Testicles.

ankhtahr · « **Reply #1 on:** 17 Jul 2013, 05:45 »

I'll just put this here:

Redball · « **Reply #2 on:** 17 Jul 2013, 12:09 »

Quote from: ChaoSera on 17 Jul 2013, 04:23

And to start this of, I'd like to mention, that if I were a greek god, my name would be Testicles.

Sheeee-it! That's my line! I created a Greek ancestor when I was in my 20s and getting tired of the same old jokes on my last name. At Ellis Island, the ancestor, I said, was told that Testicles would not be acceptable in America. The jokes ended about then, but probably because those around me were growing up.
But I took it seriously, as in this mug shot.

Kugai · « **Reply #3 on:** 17 Jul 2013, 16:15 »

So your cup runneth over.

Carl-E · « **Reply #4 on:** 17 Jul 2013, 17:35 »

That could be very uncomfortable!

mtmerrick · « **Reply #5 on:** 18 Jul 2013, 01:11 »

For puncrimes of scrambling different usages of "Sage" (username, character name, occupation, seasoning, ect) I hereby forfeit 37 cents and one single yen into the pun jar.

Kugai · « **Reply #6 on:** 18 Jul 2013, 14:34 »

So you have a yen to add to the total?

cesium133 · « **Reply #7 on:** 18 Jul 2013, 16:09 »

edit -- dammit, wrong thread. I thought this was the Random Thoughts thread...

So... did you hear the one about the weaver who got fired? He had the wrong thread.

Kugai · « **Reply #8 on:** 18 Jul 2013, 17:28 »

Darn.

henri bemis · « **Reply #9 on:** 18 Jul 2013, 22:16 »

y'all are sew terrible. But I admit, you leave me in stitches.

Masterpiece · « **Reply #10 on:** 19 Jul 2013, 03:11 »

Instead of puns, why don't I tell you a joke about pizza?

...nevermind, it was too cheesy.

Patrick · « **Reply #11 on:** 19 Jul 2013, 04:20 »

That one's terrible no matter which way you slice it. You knead to work on it.

Patrick · « **Reply #12 on:** 19 Jul 2013, 04:25 »

Nice try dough.

Loki · « **Reply #13 on:** 19 Jul 2013, 05:43 »

Now I want pizza.

TinPenguin · « **Reply #14 on:** 19 Jul 2013, 06:37 »

If you want to work in the fishing industry, you need to be good at networking.

mtmerrick · « **Reply #15 on:** 19 Jul 2013, 11:38 »

That sounds fishy to me...

Redball · « **Reply #16 on:** 19 Jul 2013, 12:52 »

How long are we gonna whale away on this topic? I porpoise a change of topic.

~~GarandMarine~~ · « **Reply #17 on:** 19 Jul 2013, 12:57 »

you really had to fish around for those didn't you Redball?

Redball · « **Reply #18 on:** 19 Jul 2013, 12:58 »

It took so long they turned rotten.

~~GarandMarine~~ · « **Reply #19 on:** 19 Jul 2013, 12:59 »

They seemed a bit misbegotten

cesium133 · « **Reply #20 on:** 19 Jul 2013, 13:03 »

And yet it was so easy to have caught them.

Kugai · « **Reply #21 on:** 19 Jul 2013, 14:29 »

We're just doing this for the Halibut.

Pilchard123 · « **Reply #22 on:** 19 Jul 2013, 14:31 »

Well, this is the plaice for them.

Patrick · « **Reply #23 on:** 19 Jul 2013, 15:02 »

But it ain't the thyme.

Kugai · « **Reply #24 on:** 19 Jul 2013, 19:07 »

Sage advice.

cesium133 · « **Reply #25 on:** 19 Jul 2013, 19:12 »

But the thyme is cumin.

Patrick · « **Reply #26 on:** 19 Jul 2013, 20:02 »

After all, spice must flow.

jwhouk · « **Reply #27 on:** 20 Jul 2013, 05:58 »

I see how you all pepper in your puns with a salt and flattery.

Kugai · « **Reply #28 on:** 20 Jul 2013, 12:54 »

Well, that'll add some zest.

Thrillho · « **Reply #29 on:** 20 Jul 2013, 17:06 »

Quote from: Patrick on 19 Jul 2013, 04:25

Nice try dough.

This post is literal perfection.

I just realised I made a Ketamine pun in the drunk thread that should've gone here.

~~Valdís~~ · « **Reply #30 on:** 20 Jul 2013, 17:10 »

Hence, the drunk thread.

Thrillho · « **Reply #31 on:** 20 Jul 2013, 17:15 »

I'll dip my twine in as much vodka as I want.

This thread is punbelievable.

Masterpiece · « **Reply #32 on:** 21 Jul 2013, 02:15 »

Kugai · « **Reply #33 on:** 21 Jul 2013, 12:44 »

Now we're in a jam.

Patrick · « **Reply #34 on:** 21 Jul 2013, 12:50 »

Yeah, it's quite jarring. How are we going to get out of it while still preserving our integrity?

Loki · « **Reply #35 on:** 21 Jul 2013, 14:58 »

Simple. The pun jar tolls for your donations.

Kugai · « **Reply #36 on:** 21 Jul 2013, 16:54 »

Must be a bell jar then

jwhouk · « **Reply #37 on:** 21 Jul 2013, 17:50 »

But that doesn't have a ring to it.

Nikolai · « **Reply #38 on:** 21 Jul 2013, 17:52 »

This is such a gong show.

Patrick · « **Reply #39 on:** 22 Jul 2013, 04:07 »

Quit being such a ding-dong and figure out how to better resonate with your peers here.

Loki · « **Reply #40 on:** 22 Jul 2013, 04:36 »

I think at this point you are trying too hard. That's like comparing pears and oranges.

jwhouk · « **Reply #41 on:** 22 Jul 2013, 05:50 »

Oranges aren't very punny.

TinPenguin · « **Reply #42 on:** 22 Jul 2013, 06:25 »

Orange you forgetting something?

Redball · « **Reply #43 on:** 22 Jul 2013, 08:15 »

Oranges, bells ... OK, peal away!

Kugai · « **Reply #44 on:** 22 Jul 2013, 13:51 »

That was a ringing endorsement.

Thrillho · « **Reply #45 on:** 22 Jul 2013, 17:04 »

You guys are all bellends.

So a Korean couple are in bed, and the husband burps, then farts. 'That's disgusting,' says the woman. 'It was the dog!' says the man, to which his girlfriend replies 'it couldn't be, I cooked it perfectly.'

Is it cold in here? · « **Reply #46 on:** 22 Jul 2013, 23:47 »

The do-it-yourselfer was scheduled for surgery and asked the surgeon "Hey, is it OK if I do my own anesthesia?".

The surgeon said "Eh, whatever, knock yourself out".

He then wondered "How about if I close the incision for you?"

The surgeon shrugged and said "suture self".

Patrick · « **Reply #47 on:** 23 Jul 2013, 02:21 »

sounds like the doc was getting impatient to cut straight to the heart of the matter

Redball · « **Reply #48 on:** 23 Jul 2013, 11:12 »

I don't know if I have the stomach for this line of humor.

Thrillho · « **Reply #49 on:** 23 Jul 2013, 12:30 »

I guess we'd better cut it out.

THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

Author Topic: Random Puns (Read 412339 times)