Topic: Random Puns (Read 425695 times)

Is it cold in here? · « **Reply #150 on:** 15 Nov 2013, 16:33 »

Were the imperial Romans landscape painters? I heard they tried to depict Britain.

What is the scariest country in the world? Zombie-a.

EDIT:

Since Dune was about a precognitive, should it have been called The Foresight Saga?

Since plants photosynthesize, would you say they are having a light meal?

EDIT:

It is Northern Hemisphere spring, and the deciduous trees are releaving themselves in public.

Method of Madness · « **Reply #151 on:** 08 Jun 2014, 16:55 »

An old thread, but this was worth reviving it

Akima · « **Reply #152 on:** 28 Jun 2014, 02:31 »

Considering how long this thread went between postings, should we say that sparkly vampires who bite their girlfriends' throats are neck-romancers?

Method of Madness · « **Reply #153 on:** 28 Jun 2014, 03:31 »

Yes. Yes, we should.

Detachable Felix · « **Reply #154 on:** 28 Jun 2014, 05:49 »

I was watching a documentary on SBS about this year's Eurovision winner. I have to say, the jokes about her name were the Wurst.

Masterpiece · « **Reply #155 on:** 28 Jun 2014, 05:57 »

Reading this thread again really put me in a pickle to find a good new pun about delicatessen

Detachable Felix · « **Reply #156 on:** 29 Jun 2014, 00:56 »

Not that long ago, I was in Melbourne, stuck in a shopping centre where the radio was playing that godawful song "Kryptonite", right?

- Anyways so the announcers came on after it and were talking about how they filmed part of the film clip for the song right here in Melbourne.

Well, I was bored and had nothing much to do, so I looked up the place that they supposedly used in the film clip.

I walked up to the receptionist and asked her "Is this the place where they filmed Kryptonite?". She replied. "Nah, that's Three Doors Down".

...

(Usually I tell this one in person, works better.)

Kugai · « **Reply #157 on:** 29 Jun 2014, 16:46 »

*Shakes Bad Joke Jar at LJFelix*

Method of Madness · « **Reply #158 on:** 29 Jun 2014, 16:54 »

To be fair, he had an accomplice.

jwhouk · « **Reply #159 on:** 29 Jun 2014, 17:53 »

No, I think he accompliced that one all on his own.

Method of Madness · « **Reply #160 on:** 29 Jun 2014, 17:58 »

Well played.

Akima · « **Reply #161 on:** 29 Jun 2014, 18:46 »

Are clerical garments surplice to requirements?

jwhouk · « **Reply #162 on:** 29 Jun 2014, 19:00 »

Halo if I know.

Neko_Ali · « **Reply #163 on:** 29 Jun 2014, 19:50 »

Well, they do say the devil is in the details.

~~GarandMarine~~ · « **Reply #164 on:** 29 Jun 2014, 21:09 »

I feel like that last post didn't work, but I admit I might just be playing devil's advocate

Kugai · « **Reply #165 on:** 29 Jun 2014, 22:23 »

I'm erring on the side of the angels.

jwhouk · « **Reply #166 on:** 30 Jun 2014, 04:12 »

I erred on the side of Angels once.

But then Nolan Ryan struck out the side.

Is it cold in here? · « **Reply #167 on:** 30 Jun 2014, 22:21 »

Quote from: Akima on 29 Jun 2014, 18:46

Are clerical garments surplice to requirements?

Not if they're trimmed to the right size with a miter saw.

jwhouk · « **Reply #168 on:** 01 Jul 2014, 07:28 »

"Icy! Icy" said the blind man, as he picked up his hammer and saw.

cesium133 · « **Reply #169 on:** 01 Jul 2014, 08:05 »

"I see," replied the blind man to his deaf daughter. "What do you see?," she inquired. "Not much."

Akima · « **Reply #170 on:** 01 Jul 2014, 17:42 »

Quote from: Is it cold in here? on 30 Jun 2014, 22:21

Not if they're trimmed to the right size with a miter saw.

I suppose that would enable you to cope.

Redball · « **Reply #171 on:** 01 Jul 2014, 18:00 »

You guys must be smokin' something. You should be censered.

Kugai · « **Reply #172 on:** 01 Jul 2014, 18:05 »

He's just making an investment in the future

Detachable Felix · « **Reply #173 on:** 03 Jul 2014, 14:43 »

and now, UnJokes!:
I once tried to start an apathy club at uni. There was too much interest in it, which kind of defeated the purpose.

.. I'll go now.

Kugai · « **Reply #174 on:** 03 Jul 2014, 17:19 »

GO!

And joke no more!!

Detachable Felix · « **Reply #175 on:** 03 Jul 2014, 17:30 »

But the joke is, I know it's not funny! It's meta-humor!

(Fixed the link -Method)

Method of Madness · « **Reply #176 on:** 03 Jul 2014, 20:12 »

I'm still more mad at Marten for backing away from the pun than for the pun itself. OWN THAT SHIT, MARTEN.

Is it cold in here? · « **Reply #177 on:** 03 Jul 2014, 20:55 »

Quote from: Akima on 01 Jul 2014, 17:42

Quote from: Is it cold in here? on 30 Jun 2014, 22:21
Not if they're trimmed to the right size with a miter saw.
I suppose that would enable you to cope.

That's at least safe. You can lose a finger in an instant to the type that has an endless loop for a blade. Those are so dangerous that everyone calls one of them a banned saw.

Detachable Felix · « **Reply #178 on:** 04 Jul 2014, 06:18 »

They named a star after ol' Vlad. To say he's not happy about it would be Putin it lightly.

~~GarandMarine~~ · « **Reply #179 on:** 04 Jul 2014, 07:27 »

Haha. Fuck you Vlad.

Method of Madness · « **Reply #180 on:** 04 Jul 2014, 07:38 »

Vlad isn't Putin up with this.

Kugai · « **Reply #181 on:** 04 Jul 2014, 14:55 »

Probably Lenin towards impaling him.

Is it cold in here? · « **Reply #182 on:** 04 Jul 2014, 15:24 »

Why are swamps so hot despite all the thousands and thousands of swamp coolers that have been sold?

When infantry gets older, does it become adultery?

~~GarandMarine~~ · « **Reply #183 on:** 04 Jul 2014, 18:40 »

Well the infantry commit a lot of adultery

Method of Madness · « **Reply #184 on:** 06 Jul 2014, 19:58 »

Quote from: Kugai on 04 Jul 2014, 14:55

Probably Lenin towards impaling him.

Not with all the appeals. It's a Stalin tactic.

Detachable Felix · « **Reply #185 on:** 06 Jul 2014, 21:01 »

Technically he wasn't impaled,but I guess there's no need to be (ice)picky.

tragic_pizza · « **Reply #186 on:** 06 Jul 2014, 21:05 »

You have a point.

Kugai · « **Reply #187 on:** 06 Jul 2014, 22:06 »

He's sharp that one

tragic_pizza · « **Reply #188 on:** 06 Jul 2014, 23:43 »

Cutting-edge, even...

~~GarandMarine~~ · « **Reply #189 on:** 08 Jul 2014, 10:33 »

could even say he's the tip of the spear

cesium133 · « **Reply #190 on:** 08 Jul 2014, 11:31 »

We're all the sharpest bulb in the box here.

Kugai · « **Reply #191 on:** 08 Jul 2014, 15:27 »

That's a bit flash

Blue Kitty · « **Reply #192 on:** 08 Jul 2014, 15:36 »

4 pages of this? Enough with the punishment

Detachable Felix · « **Reply #193 on:** 10 Jul 2014, 14:13 »

Carl-E · « **Reply #194 on:** 10 Jul 2014, 20:00 »

Why are there two 2's on that team?

Method of Madness · « **Reply #195 on:** 10 Jul 2014, 20:22 »

Why are they numbered at all?

Loki · « **Reply #196 on:** 10 Jul 2014, 22:19 »

...three 2's, actually. Ron, the girl to the right and the one half obscured by her.

How come I never noticed this?

~~GarandMarine~~ · « **Reply #197 on:** 10 Jul 2014, 22:21 »

.
Positions?

Loki · « **Reply #198 on:** 10 Jul 2014, 23:43 »

But Ron is the keeper. His position is unique. Unless he ever played chaser, because that is the only position were there are three players playing it.

Thrillho · « **Reply #199 on:** 13 Jul 2014, 03:31 »

Quote from: Loki on 10 Jul 2014, 23:43

But Ron is the keeper. His position is unique. Unless he ever played chaser, because that is the only position were there are three players playing it.

THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

Author Topic: Random Puns (Read 425695 times)