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Author Topic: Random Puns  (Read 224902 times)

Is it cold in here?

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #150 on: 15 Nov 2013, 16:33 »

Were the imperial Romans landscape painters? I heard they tried to depict Britain.

What is the scariest country in the world? Zombie-a.

EDIT:

Since Dune was about a precognitive, should it have been called The Foresight Saga?

Since plants photosynthesize, would you say they are having a light meal?

EDIT:

It is Northern Hemisphere spring, and the deciduous trees are releaving themselves in public.
« Last Edit: 24 May 2014, 21:05 by Is it cold in here? »
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #151 on: 08 Jun 2014, 16:55 »



An old thread, but this was worth reviving it :roll:
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #152 on: 28 Jun 2014, 02:31 »

Considering how long this thread went between postings, should we say that sparkly vampires who bite their girlfriends' throats are neck-romancers?
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #153 on: 28 Jun 2014, 03:31 »

Yes. Yes, we should.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #154 on: 28 Jun 2014, 05:49 »

I was watching a documentary on SBS about this year's Eurovision winner. I have to say, the jokes about her name were the Wurst.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #155 on: 28 Jun 2014, 05:57 »

Reading this thread again really put me in a pickle to find a good new pun about delicatessen

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #156 on: 29 Jun 2014, 00:56 »

Not that long ago, I was in Melbourne, stuck in a shopping centre where the radio was playing that godawful song "Kryptonite", right?

- Anyways so the announcers came on after it and were talking about how they filmed part of the film clip for the song right here in Melbourne.

Well, I was bored and had nothing much to do, so I looked up the place that they supposedly used in the film clip.

I walked up to the receptionist and asked her "Is this the place where they filmed Kryptonite?". She replied. "Nah, that's Three Doors Down".

... :mrgreen:

(Usually I tell this one in person, works better.)
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #157 on: 29 Jun 2014, 16:46 »

*Shakes Bad Joke Jar at LJFelix*
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #158 on: 29 Jun 2014, 16:54 »

To be fair, he had an accomplice.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #159 on: 29 Jun 2014, 17:53 »

No, I think he accompliced that one all on his own.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #160 on: 29 Jun 2014, 17:58 »

Well played.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #161 on: 29 Jun 2014, 18:46 »

Are clerical garments surplice to requirements?
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #162 on: 29 Jun 2014, 19:00 »

Halo if I know.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #163 on: 29 Jun 2014, 19:50 »

Well, they do say the devil is in the details.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #164 on: 29 Jun 2014, 21:09 »

I feel like that last post didn't work, but I admit I might just be playing devil's advocate
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #165 on: 29 Jun 2014, 22:23 »

I'm erring on the side of the angels.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #166 on: 30 Jun 2014, 04:12 »

I erred on the side of Angels once.

But then Nolan Ryan struck out the side.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #167 on: 30 Jun 2014, 22:21 »

Are clerical garments surplice to requirements?

Not if they're trimmed to the right size with a miter saw.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #168 on: 01 Jul 2014, 07:28 »

"Icy! Icy" said the blind man, as he picked up his hammer and saw.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #169 on: 01 Jul 2014, 08:05 »

"I see," replied the blind man to his deaf daughter. "What do you see?," she inquired. "Not much."
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #170 on: 01 Jul 2014, 17:42 »

Not if they're trimmed to the right size with a miter saw.
I suppose that would enable you to cope.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #171 on: 01 Jul 2014, 18:00 »

You guys must be smokin' something. You should be censered.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #172 on: 01 Jul 2014, 18:05 »

He's just making an investment in the future
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #173 on: 03 Jul 2014, 14:43 »

and now, UnJokes!:
I once tried to start an apathy club at uni. There was too much interest in it, which kind of defeated the purpose.


.. I'll go now.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #174 on: 03 Jul 2014, 17:19 »

GO!

And joke no more!!
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #175 on: 03 Jul 2014, 17:30 »

« Last Edit: 03 Jul 2014, 20:11 by Method of Madness »
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #176 on: 03 Jul 2014, 20:12 »

I'm still more mad at Marten for backing away from the pun than for the pun itself. OWN THAT SHIT, MARTEN.
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Quote from: Polonius
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MR ARCHIVE-FU MADNESS
Does anybody really know what time it is?
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #177 on: 03 Jul 2014, 20:55 »

Not if they're trimmed to the right size with a miter saw.
I suppose that would enable you to cope.

That's at least safe. You can lose a finger in an instant to the type that has an endless loop for a blade. Those are so dangerous that everyone calls one of them a banned saw.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #179 on: 04 Jul 2014, 07:27 »

Haha. Fuck you Vlad.

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #180 on: 04 Jul 2014, 07:38 »

Vlad isn't Putin up with this.
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MR ARCHIVE-FU MADNESS
Does anybody really know what time it is?
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #181 on: 04 Jul 2014, 14:55 »

Probably Lenin towards impaling him.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #182 on: 04 Jul 2014, 15:24 »

Why are swamps so hot despite all the thousands and thousands of swamp coolers that have been sold?

When infantry gets older, does it become adultery?
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #183 on: 04 Jul 2014, 18:40 »

Well the infantry commit a lot of adultery
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #184 on: 06 Jul 2014, 19:58 »

Probably Lenin towards impaling him.
Not with all the appeals. It's a Stalin tactic.
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MR ARCHIVE-FU MADNESS
Does anybody really know what time it is?
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #185 on: 06 Jul 2014, 21:01 »

Technically he wasn't impaled,but I guess there's no need to be (ice)picky.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #186 on: 06 Jul 2014, 21:05 »

You have a point.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #187 on: 06 Jul 2014, 22:06 »

He's sharp that one
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #188 on: 06 Jul 2014, 23:43 »

Cutting-edge, even...
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #189 on: 08 Jul 2014, 10:33 »

could even say he's the tip of the spear
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #190 on: 08 Jul 2014, 11:31 »

We're all the sharpest bulb in the box here.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #191 on: 08 Jul 2014, 15:27 »

That's a bit flash
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #192 on: 08 Jul 2014, 15:36 »

4 pages of this? Enough with the punishment
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #193 on: 10 Jul 2014, 14:13 »

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #194 on: 10 Jul 2014, 20:00 »

Why are there two 2's on that team? 
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #195 on: 10 Jul 2014, 20:22 »

Why are they numbered at all?
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Though this be madness, yet there is method in't.
MR ARCHIVE-FU MADNESS
Does anybody really know what time it is?
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #196 on: 10 Jul 2014, 22:19 »

...three 2's, actually. Ron, the girl to the right and the one half obscured by her.

How come I never noticed this?
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #197 on: 10 Jul 2014, 22:21 »

.
Positions?
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #198 on: 10 Jul 2014, 23:43 »

But Ron is the keeper. His position is unique. Unless he ever played chaser, because that is the only position were there are three players playing it.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #199 on: 13 Jul 2014, 03:31 »

But Ron is the keeper. His position is unique. Unless he ever played chaser, because that is the only position were there are three players playing it.

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