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Author Topic: Random Puns  (Read 424211 times)

Is it cold in here?

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #150 on: 15 Nov 2013, 16:33 »

Were the imperial Romans landscape painters? I heard they tried to depict Britain.

What is the scariest country in the world? Zombie-a.

EDIT:

Since Dune was about a precognitive, should it have been called The Foresight Saga?

Since plants photosynthesize, would you say they are having a light meal?

EDIT:

It is Northern Hemisphere spring, and the deciduous trees are releaving themselves in public.
« Last Edit: 24 May 2014, 21:05 by Is it cold in here? »
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #151 on: 08 Jun 2014, 16:55 »



An old thread, but this was worth reviving it :roll:
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #152 on: 28 Jun 2014, 02:31 »

Considering how long this thread went between postings, should we say that sparkly vampires who bite their girlfriends' throats are neck-romancers?
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Method of Madness

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #153 on: 28 Jun 2014, 03:31 »

Yes. Yes, we should.
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Quote from: Polonius
Though this be madness, yet there is method in't.
MR ARCHIVE-FU MADNESS
Does anybody really know what time it is?
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #154 on: 28 Jun 2014, 05:49 »

I was watching a documentary on SBS about this year's Eurovision winner. I have to say, the jokes about her name were the Wurst.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #155 on: 28 Jun 2014, 05:57 »

Reading this thread again really put me in a pickle to find a good new pun about delicatessen

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #156 on: 29 Jun 2014, 00:56 »

Not that long ago, I was in Melbourne, stuck in a shopping centre where the radio was playing that godawful song "Kryptonite", right?

- Anyways so the announcers came on after it and were talking about how they filmed part of the film clip for the song right here in Melbourne.

Well, I was bored and had nothing much to do, so I looked up the place that they supposedly used in the film clip.

I walked up to the receptionist and asked her "Is this the place where they filmed Kryptonite?". She replied. "Nah, that's Three Doors Down".

... :mrgreen:

(Usually I tell this one in person, works better.)
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #157 on: 29 Jun 2014, 16:46 »

*Shakes Bad Joke Jar at LJFelix*
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #158 on: 29 Jun 2014, 16:54 »

To be fair, he had an accomplice.
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MR ARCHIVE-FU MADNESS
Does anybody really know what time it is?
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #159 on: 29 Jun 2014, 17:53 »

No, I think he accompliced that one all on his own.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #160 on: 29 Jun 2014, 17:58 »

Well played.
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Quote from: Polonius
Though this be madness, yet there is method in't.
MR ARCHIVE-FU MADNESS
Does anybody really know what time it is?
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #161 on: 29 Jun 2014, 18:46 »

Are clerical garments surplice to requirements?
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #162 on: 29 Jun 2014, 19:00 »

Halo if I know.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #163 on: 29 Jun 2014, 19:50 »

Well, they do say the devil is in the details.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #164 on: 29 Jun 2014, 21:09 »

I feel like that last post didn't work, but I admit I might just be playing devil's advocate
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #165 on: 29 Jun 2014, 22:23 »

I'm erring on the side of the angels.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #166 on: 30 Jun 2014, 04:12 »

I erred on the side of Angels once.

But then Nolan Ryan struck out the side.
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"Character is what you are in the Dark." - D.L. Moody
There is no joke that can be made online without someone being offended by it.
Life's too short to be ashamed of how you were born.
Just another Joe like 46

Is it cold in here?

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #167 on: 30 Jun 2014, 22:21 »

Are clerical garments surplice to requirements?

Not if they're trimmed to the right size with a miter saw.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #168 on: 01 Jul 2014, 07:28 »

"Icy! Icy" said the blind man, as he picked up his hammer and saw.
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cesium133

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #169 on: 01 Jul 2014, 08:05 »

"I see," replied the blind man to his deaf daughter. "What do you see?," she inquired. "Not much."
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #170 on: 01 Jul 2014, 17:42 »

Not if they're trimmed to the right size with a miter saw.
I suppose that would enable you to cope.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #171 on: 01 Jul 2014, 18:00 »

You guys must be smokin' something. You should be censered.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #172 on: 01 Jul 2014, 18:05 »

He's just making an investment in the future
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #173 on: 03 Jul 2014, 14:43 »

and now, UnJokes!:
I once tried to start an apathy club at uni. There was too much interest in it, which kind of defeated the purpose.


.. I'll go now.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #174 on: 03 Jul 2014, 17:19 »

GO!

And joke no more!!
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #175 on: 03 Jul 2014, 17:30 »

« Last Edit: 03 Jul 2014, 20:11 by Method of Madness »
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #176 on: 03 Jul 2014, 20:12 »

I'm still more mad at Marten for backing away from the pun than for the pun itself. OWN THAT SHIT, MARTEN.
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They call me Mr. Madness.

Quote from: Polonius
Though this be madness, yet there is method in't.
MR ARCHIVE-FU MADNESS
Does anybody really know what time it is?
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

Is it cold in here?

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #177 on: 03 Jul 2014, 20:55 »

Not if they're trimmed to the right size with a miter saw.
I suppose that would enable you to cope.

That's at least safe. You can lose a finger in an instant to the type that has an endless loop for a blade. Those are so dangerous that everyone calls one of them a banned saw.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #179 on: 04 Jul 2014, 07:27 »

Haha. Fuck you Vlad.

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #180 on: 04 Jul 2014, 07:38 »

Vlad isn't Putin up with this.
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Quote from: Polonius
Though this be madness, yet there is method in't.
MR ARCHIVE-FU MADNESS
Does anybody really know what time it is?
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #181 on: 04 Jul 2014, 14:55 »

Probably Lenin towards impaling him.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #182 on: 04 Jul 2014, 15:24 »

Why are swamps so hot despite all the thousands and thousands of swamp coolers that have been sold?

When infantry gets older, does it become adultery?
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #183 on: 04 Jul 2014, 18:40 »

Well the infantry commit a lot of adultery
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I built the walls that make my life a prison, I built them all and cannot be forgiven... ...Sold my soul to carry your vendetta, So let me go before you can regret it, You've made your choice and now it's come to this, But that's price you pay when you're a monster with no name.

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #184 on: 06 Jul 2014, 19:58 »

Probably Lenin towards impaling him.
Not with all the appeals. It's a Stalin tactic.
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They call me Mr. Madness.

Quote from: Polonius
Though this be madness, yet there is method in't.
MR ARCHIVE-FU MADNESS
Does anybody really know what time it is?
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #185 on: 06 Jul 2014, 21:01 »

Technically he wasn't impaled,but I guess there's no need to be (ice)picky.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #186 on: 06 Jul 2014, 21:05 »

You have a point.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #187 on: 06 Jul 2014, 22:06 »

He's sharp that one
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #188 on: 06 Jul 2014, 23:43 »

Cutting-edge, even...
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #189 on: 08 Jul 2014, 10:33 »

could even say he's the tip of the spear
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #190 on: 08 Jul 2014, 11:31 »

We're all the sharpest bulb in the box here.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #191 on: 08 Jul 2014, 15:27 »

That's a bit flash
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #192 on: 08 Jul 2014, 15:36 »

4 pages of this? Enough with the punishment
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #193 on: 10 Jul 2014, 14:13 »

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #194 on: 10 Jul 2014, 20:00 »

Why are there two 2's on that team? 
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #195 on: 10 Jul 2014, 20:22 »

Why are they numbered at all?
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Quote from: Polonius
Though this be madness, yet there is method in't.
MR ARCHIVE-FU MADNESS
Does anybody really know what time it is?
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #196 on: 10 Jul 2014, 22:19 »

...three 2's, actually. Ron, the girl to the right and the one half obscured by her.

How come I never noticed this?
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #197 on: 10 Jul 2014, 22:21 »

.
Positions?
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #198 on: 10 Jul 2014, 23:43 »

But Ron is the keeper. His position is unique. Unless he ever played chaser, because that is the only position were there are three players playing it.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #199 on: 13 Jul 2014, 03:31 »

But Ron is the keeper. His position is unique. Unless he ever played chaser, because that is the only position were there are three players playing it.

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