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Author Topic: Random Puns  (Read 224995 times)

chaospersonified

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1000 on: 05 May 2015, 20:20 »

DO NOT DOGE THE QUESTION, METHOD WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1001 on: 05 May 2015, 20:20 »

*Makes Puppydog Eyes*
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James The Kugai 

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chaospersonified

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1002 on: 05 May 2015, 20:25 »

I see through your shih tzu! Don't play games with me, boy, I mastered puppy dog eyes at an early age! I know their power and they do not work on me!
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1003 on: 05 May 2015, 20:32 »

Cerberus!


Actually, I've been doing more FanFic Reading, YouTubing and FBing anyway
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James The Kugai 

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1004 on: 05 May 2015, 20:35 »

Cerberus!

Hey, you started the Hades, not me. By Zeus, if you get struck by lightning, I wouldn't shocked. Upset, yes, surprised, no.
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Kugai

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1005 on: 05 May 2015, 20:35 »

I'll be Chariotable then
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James The Kugai 

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1006 on: 05 May 2015, 20:44 »

From Greece to Italy, I see you're Roman around quite a bit! Who are you, Alexander? Here to Hellenistic Period and back with you!
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1007 on: 05 May 2015, 21:17 »

From Greece to Italy, I see you're Roman around quite a bit! Who are you, Alexander? Here to Hellenistic Period and back with you!
Quite an odyssey you take in your quest to hector each other. Are you going to keep troying until you've dragged the conversation to Paris?
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chaospersonified

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1008 on: 05 May 2015, 21:36 »

From Greece to Italy, I see you're Roman around quite a bit! Who are you, Alexander? Here to Hellenistic Period and back with you!
Quite an odyssey you take in your quest to hector each other. Are you going to keep troying until you've dragged the conversation to Paris?

Speaking Illiad of your neighbor, I see. Just you wait until the chickens come Homer to roost
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1009 on: 05 May 2015, 21:40 »

The puns that launched a thousand ships...
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chaospersonified

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1010 on: 05 May 2015, 21:44 »

The puns that launched a thousand ships...

Oh Helen, bringing that up again. (I sound like an old codger, talking shit to his wife for that one, but I swear, it's a pun on "oh hell," not a sexist thing at all, which sounds like something a sexist asshat would say, I know, but you gotta believe me on this)
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1011 on: 05 May 2015, 22:52 »

So you're saying that it's your Achilles heel?
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1012 on: 06 May 2015, 09:33 »

So you're saying that it's your Achilles heel?

You know, I Troy and I Troy, but these things keep coming up again
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1013 on: 06 May 2015, 14:07 »

Just a Phalanx of problems
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James The Kugai 

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1014 on: 06 May 2015, 14:32 »

Not so well shielded, eh? Build up a wall around yourself; it's emotionally unhealthy as hell, but you'll be safe, so long as you beware of Greeks bearing gifts. The Trojans wouldve been much better off if no one ever told them not to look a gift horse in the mouth
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1015 on: 07 May 2015, 00:17 »

But at least you don't have to Hector them
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James The Kugai 

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1016 on: 07 May 2015, 09:11 »

Yeah, hectoring Trojans just ends badly, like being-dragged-around-the-walls-of-the-city kind of bad.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1017 on: 10 May 2015, 23:28 »

Have you noticed that you never see big cats wearing mirrorshades?

There's a reason. Mirroshades are opaque.

"You can't hide, your lion eyes"
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1018 on: 11 May 2015, 02:45 »

(click to show/hide)
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1019 on: 11 May 2015, 07:14 »

I think working as a rock climbing instructor is the only time it's okay to be hungover at work, in the literal sense, I mean.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1020 on: 11 May 2015, 14:14 »

Belay that
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James The Kugai 

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1021 on: 11 May 2015, 14:35 »

I will not. The idea rappells me.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1022 on: 11 May 2015, 15:55 »

Well, hang in there and don't tie yourself into knots.
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chaospersonified

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1023 on: 11 May 2015, 16:35 »

You know, I meant to make that exact pun in my last post? Luckily, I had a foothold in a different pun, so it worked out
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1024 on: 12 May 2015, 16:39 »

At least you had a foot up
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James The Kugai 

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1025 on: 12 May 2015, 19:29 »

You might say I was hanging on by my fingertips
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1026 on: 13 May 2015, 00:11 »

So, not a mission impossible then.
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James The Kugai 

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1027 on: 13 May 2015, 00:15 »

such a thing would take a few good men.
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Kugai

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1028 on: 13 May 2015, 14:05 »

As long as they're not expendable
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James The Kugai 

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1029 on: 16 May 2015, 08:09 »

Quote
so two sisters inherit a ranch. they decide to work on it a bit and after a while realize that they need a bull in order to help them around the place. so they gather together all the spare money they have—around four hundred dollars—and one sister looks at listings online and finds a man a while away who’s got a bull to sell. she decides that she’ll travel down to see him alone and tells her sister that she’ll send a telegram so that the sister can drive down with their truck if they are able to get the bull.

so the sister eventually reaches the man who’s selling his bull and asks what his price will be. he says, “listen. I won’t take a dollar less than three hundred and ninety-nine dollars.” so the sister agrees and pays him the amount, leaving her with one dollar. then she goes to the post office and asks to send a telegram back to her sister to let her know that she’s got the bull so her sister should come and pick them up. but when she asks the person at the counter, they tell her that the telegram costs a dollar per word. the sister only has one dollar so she picks a word carefully and sends the telegram.

what word does she pick?
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1030 on: 18 May 2015, 12:57 »

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chaospersonified

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1031 on: 18 May 2015, 15:01 »



Trick question, it was their father, who's name they never knew, hence the question mark.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1033 on: 20 May 2015, 17:50 »

Weird, it wouldn't embed. Anyway, here's the text from that tweet.

[courtroom] "I hereby find you guilty of clickbait, and sentence you to death by electric chair. What happens next will shock you."
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Kugai

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1034 on: 21 May 2015, 14:43 »

What a revoltin' development
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James The Kugai 

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1035 on: 21 May 2015, 17:16 »

I dunno, it's kinda static for them really.
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chaospersonified

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1036 on: 21 May 2015, 17:21 »

Really? Seems pretty electrifying to me
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1037 on: 21 May 2015, 18:06 »

That's because you weren't in charge.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1038 on: 21 May 2015, 19:41 »

That's because you weren't in charge.

Oh, ZAP! Damage DONE!
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1039 on: 21 May 2015, 19:50 »

ESL students need a magazine with monthly tips on when to use "a" and "the".

They would swear they only read it for the articles.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1040 on: 22 May 2015, 15:35 »

Aaaand the Thread comes to a crashing halt.
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James The Kugai 

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1041 on: 22 May 2015, 17:32 »

I would definitely read it for the articles, for an indefinite period. Until I came to a full stop.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1042 on: 22 May 2015, 19:47 »

Aaaand the Thread comes to a crashing halt.

STOP! Grammar Time
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1043 on: 22 May 2015, 22:53 »

I'd make a comment about Puffy Pants, but that'd be just cruel.
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James The Kugai 

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1044 on: 22 May 2015, 23:16 »

I'd make a comment about Puffy Pants, but that'd be just cruel.

Cruel? Mean is average.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1045 on: 23 May 2015, 10:22 »

That post was a bit out of range.

Maybe we should try a different mode.

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1046 on: 23 May 2015, 10:30 »

That post was a bit out of range.

Maybe we should try a different mode.

That's the point. Maybe we should co-ordinate better, map things out?
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1047 on: 23 May 2015, 10:39 »

Sounds a little bit scattered.

I don't want a piece of this pie. Maybe we should chart-er a jet to the nearest bar.

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1048 on: 23 May 2015, 11:16 »

I'm not sure I want to deviate much from standard means, though.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1049 on: 23 May 2015, 12:33 »

Don't worry, we won't get TOO graphic
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