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Author Topic: Random Puns  (Read 94672 times)

cesium133

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1850 on: 26 May 2018, 15:01 »

Seen on a billboard in Wisconsin: "To not eat beef would be a missteak."
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HughYeman

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1851 on: 11 Jun 2018, 07:52 »

My wife and I were camping, and one morning we woke up to find that something—presumably a small rodent—had chewed through the bottom of the tent to get at a packet of nuts. I said to her "Honey... if that rodent had chewed all the way through the air mattress, would that have been a Die Fledermaus?"
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"Is that why you checked for my armor?"
"I-I was scared you left. I knew you wouldn't go anywhere without it."
"I would never leave unless you asked me to."
"I would never ask you to."

jwhouk

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1852 on: 11 Jun 2018, 16:36 »

Seen on a billboard in Wisconsin: "To not eat beef would be a missteak."


...Good to know that ABS is still keeping up the bad cow puns.
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"Character is what you are in the Dark." - D.L. Moody
There is no joke that can be made online without someone being offended by it.
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pwhodges

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1853 on: 13 Jun 2018, 00:49 »

Dad, what's an acorn?

In a nutshell, it's an oak tree.
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"Being human, having your health; that's what's important."  (from: Magical Shopping Arcade Abenobashi )
"As long as we're all living, and as long as we're all having fun, that should do it, right?"  (from: The Eccentric Family )

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1854 on: 04 Jul 2018, 12:14 »

We all depend heavily on seaports but never acknowledge or celebrate them.

There should be a day set aside to honor harbors.
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Quote from: Brun
It seems like smelling people is more complex than I thought.
Quote from: an unnamed minister's sermon
In your face, darkness!  We are the light and we outnumber you!

Blue Kitty

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1855 on: 07 Jul 2018, 07:27 »

Quote
when did the Japanese start eating eggs? a long たまご.
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pecoros7

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1856 on: 11 Jul 2018, 00:13 »

A woman once witness a drunken man urinating in an alley behind a biergarten. Repulsed, she shrieked "That's gross!" The drunkard smiled widely and nodded. "Dankeschön!"
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Tova

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1857 on: 13 Jul 2018, 22:09 »

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It's all about the jokes!

cesium133

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1858 on: 23 Jul 2018, 10:54 »

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The nerdy comic I update on Saturdays: Cesium Comics

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DSL

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1859 on: 28 Jul 2018, 10:53 »

They booked a cruise on a cargo ship? I was a freighter that.
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"We are who we pretend to be. So we had better be careful who we pretend to be."  -- Kurt Vonnegut.

Tova

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1860 on: 30 Jul 2018, 19:04 »

What's the difference between a well-dressed person on a bicycle, and a poorly-dressed person on a tricycle?

Attire.
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It's all about the jokes!

bhtooefr

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1861 on: 14 Aug 2018, 10:42 »

A man is at a friend's funeral. After the proceedings, he approaches the widow and asks if she minds if he says a word. "No, of course not," she replies. So he grabs a glass and taps a spoon against it to get everyone's attention, and when the muttering dies down, he clears his throat and speaks: "Plethora." He puts the glass back down and everyone continues their conversations. The widow turns to him, with a tear in her eye. "Thank you," she says.

(click to show/hide)

Source: https://glaceon.social/@monorail/100549774175725122
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Blodwyn is the Chessmaster

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1862 on: 30 Aug 2018, 08:08 »

What is the politest branch of mathematics?

Deferential equations.
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Quote from: Brun
It seems like smelling people is more complex than I thought.
Quote from: an unnamed minister's sermon
In your face, darkness!  We are the light and we outnumber you!

jwhouk

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1863 on: 30 Aug 2018, 08:56 »

What is the best thing about Switzerland?
 
I don't know, but their flag is a huge plus.
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"Character is what you are in the Dark." - D.L. Moody
There is no joke that can be made online without someone being offended by it.
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bhtooefr

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1864 on: 01 Sep 2018, 20:00 »

Android crashes on boot when running from SD card: https://mastodon.cloud/@atomjack/100653882033091291
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cybersmurf

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1865 on: 02 Sep 2018, 06:01 »

What's the shepherd's favorite dance?

The Lambada.
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Tova

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1866 on: 02 Sep 2018, 23:46 »

Not the Basque dance?
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It's all about the jokes!

cybersmurf

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1867 on: 03 Sep 2018, 05:28 »

I don't get that one, I fear it's lost in the language barrier.
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