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Author Topic: Random Swifties  (Read 5758 times)

Is it cold in here?

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Random Swifties
« on: 08 Aug 2013, 20:08 »

"I'm so scatterbrained I lost track of my own liver", said Tom, disorganized.
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In your face, darkness!  We are the light and we outnumber you!

Masterpiece

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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #1 on: 09 Aug 2013, 08:16 »

"I never felt so square", said the root

Carl-E

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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #2 on: 09 Aug 2013, 08:48 »

"There goes my hat!" said Tom off the top of his head.   
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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #3 on: 09 Aug 2013, 08:52 »

"There's a hole in my head?" asked Tom, absentmindedly.
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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #4 on: 09 Aug 2013, 11:03 »

"I thought I heard a voice talking about my breasts," Marigold said cannily.
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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #5 on: 09 Aug 2013, 14:20 »

"I'm back," said Tom, swiftly.
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"Character is what you are in the Dark." - D.L. Moody
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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #6 on: 09 Aug 2013, 15:03 »

My flowers won't grow, said Tom lackadaisically.
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Is it cold in here?

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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #7 on: 09 Aug 2013, 18:48 »

"The exorcist destroyed my best friend, and now that Prohibition passed I can't even drink to forget!" said Tom, dispirited.
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Not tonight, dear. I have a boundary.
Quote from: an unnamed minister's sermon
In your face, darkness!  We are the light and we outnumber you!

Kugai

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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #8 on: 09 Aug 2013, 19:44 »

"I most definitely will find that Wolf." said Tom, showing dogged determination.
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Is it cold in here?

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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #9 on: 09 Aug 2013, 22:16 »

"I am definitely your type! Face it!" said Tom boldly.
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Not tonight, dear. I have a boundary.
Quote from: an unnamed minister's sermon
In your face, darkness!  We are the light and we outnumber you!

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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #10 on: 10 Aug 2013, 09:52 »

His wife was staring at the toaster. "It's browning, Elizabeth, bear it!" Bob said poetically.
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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #11 on: 10 Aug 2013, 14:15 »

^^^
Well worth the stretch. 
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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #12 on: 10 Aug 2013, 15:58 »

"We all groan at puns when the reach this stage.", Akima sighed theatrically.
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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #13 on: 10 Aug 2013, 16:17 »

"You're a font of wisdom for these times," said the courier, seriphically.
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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #14 on: 11 Aug 2013, 16:45 »

"What on earth is going on in this thread?" queried May, confusedly.  :?
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There's this really handy "other thing" I'm going to write as a footnote to my abstract that I can probably explore these issues in. I think I'll call it my "dissertation."

Is it cold in here?

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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #15 on: 11 Aug 2013, 19:11 »

A series of American adventure fiction for children in the early 1900s featured a character named Tom Swift. The form of humor named after him pairs up an adverb with a quote that fits it. For example, "It was YOUR job to change the light bulb", Tom said darkly.
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Quote from: an unnamed minister's sermon
In your face, darkness!  We are the light and we outnumber you!

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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #16 on: 11 Aug 2013, 19:15 »

"What on earth is going on in this thread?" queried May, confusedly.  :?
"This thread is thoroughly tangled!" said May with a snarl.
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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #17 on: 11 Aug 2013, 23:45 »

"Barmymoo broke up with me!", said Tom, dismayed.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Swifty
« Last Edit: 12 Aug 2013, 01:00 by Is it cold in here? »
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Not tonight, dear. I have a boundary.
Quote from: an unnamed minister's sermon
In your face, darkness!  We are the light and we outnumber you!

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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #18 on: 12 Aug 2013, 03:38 »

:D
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There's this really handy "other thing" I'm going to write as a footnote to my abstract that I can probably explore these issues in. I think I'll call it my "dissertation."

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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #19 on: 12 Aug 2013, 06:35 »

"I had never heard of Tom Swift, but I saw the pattern", observed Akima heuristically.
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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #20 on: 12 Aug 2013, 06:48 »

"Look in the box!" said Schrödinger, cattily. 


Inspired by today's Google doodle.
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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #21 on: 12 Aug 2013, 06:52 »

"I can't see where the cat is and where it's going," said Heisenberg uncertainly.
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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #22 on: 20 Sep 2013, 18:15 »

"You failed to make a point", said Tom bluntly.
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Quote from: an unnamed minister's sermon
In your face, darkness!  We are the light and we outnumber you!

The Seldom Killer

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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #23 on: 22 Sep 2013, 01:47 »

"Really, I though I made it clear", said Tom pointedly.
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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #24 on: 03 Oct 2013, 01:51 »

"I wonder if we should maybe go camping", said Tom tentatively.
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Not tonight, dear. I have a boundary.
Quote from: an unnamed minister's sermon
In your face, darkness!  We are the light and we outnumber you!

jwhouk

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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #25 on: 03 Oct 2013, 07:49 »

"I'm feeling a bit sick," Tom said coughingly.
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"Character is what you are in the Dark." - D.L. Moody
There is no joke that can be made online without someone being offended by it.
Life's too short to be ashamed of how you were born.
8645

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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #26 on: 03 Oct 2013, 08:19 »

"I'm stupid, a real dunderhead!" Tom said, redundantly.
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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #27 on: 03 Oct 2013, 19:21 »

"I've never liked fishing", Tom carped. 
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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #28 on: 03 Oct 2013, 19:32 »

"I've always preferred Lamb" said Tom sheepishly.
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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #29 on: 03 Oct 2013, 19:36 »

"All in favor? All opposed? The neighs have it," said Tom, hoarsely.
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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #30 on: 03 Oct 2013, 19:40 »

"Should we put a stop to this?" Asked Tom haltingly.
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James The Kugai 

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cesium133

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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #31 on: 03 Oct 2013, 19:51 »

"I think that frog I just licked was poisonous," croaked Tom.
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The nerdy comic I update on Saturdays: Cesium Comics

Unofficial character tag thingy for QC

Is it cold in here?

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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #32 on: 03 Oct 2013, 20:04 »

I love that one.
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Not tonight, dear. I have a boundary.
Quote from: an unnamed minister's sermon
In your face, darkness!  We are the light and we outnumber you!

jwhouk

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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #33 on: 03 Oct 2013, 20:35 »

"Is it cold in here?" Tom said, moderatingly.
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"Character is what you are in the Dark." - D.L. Moody
There is no joke that can be made online without someone being offended by it.
Life's too short to be ashamed of how you were born.
8645

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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #34 on: 03 Oct 2013, 21:17 »

"Could be him just playing around" Tom said gamely.
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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #35 on: 03 Oct 2013, 22:24 »

"This is so cool!" Tom ejaculated excitedly.
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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #36 on: 03 Oct 2013, 22:51 »

Ew. 
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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #37 on: 04 Oct 2013, 00:28 »

Way back in the day, it was a synonym of 'exclaimed' when used as a dialogue modifier.  And yes, Tom Swift "ejaculated" a lot of lines.
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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #38 on: 04 Oct 2013, 01:57 »

Just as "intercourse" was used for "conversation".

I guess someone could have ejaculated while engaged in intercourse...



Puns related to Oktoberfest celebrations in Oxford:
Quote
I really need to confront my fear of German sausages...
...but I fear the wurst!
Quote
When I ordered my sausage I had to wait. The chef told me
  "The wurst is yet to come"
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The little Brats are the Wurst
« Last Edit: 04 Oct 2013, 02:43 by pwhodges »
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"Being human, having your health; that's what's important."  (from: Magical Shopping Arcade Abenobashi )
"As long as we're all living, and as long as we're all having fun, that should do it, right?"  (from: The Eccentric Family )

LTK

Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #39 on: 04 Oct 2013, 07:17 »

"I am very hungry," rumbled Tom.
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Quote from: snalin
I just got the image of a midwife and a woman giving birth swinging towards each other on a trapeze - when they meet, the midwife pulls the baby out. The knife juggler is standing on the floor and cuts the umbilical cord with a a knifethrow.

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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #40 on: 04 Oct 2013, 08:46 »

Way back in the day, it was a synonym of 'exclaimed' when used as a dialogue modifier.  And yes, Tom Swift "ejaculated" a lot of lines.

Yes, of course, but there's only one way that's a pun, hence the "Ew". 

I stand by it. 



Just not in it. 
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Is it cold in here?

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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #41 on: 04 Oct 2013, 12:29 »

Someone needs to do a Claireface with the Oktoberfest puns.
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Quote from: an unnamed minister's sermon
In your face, darkness!  We are the light and we outnumber you!

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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #42 on: 04 Oct 2013, 13:04 »

I'm told there's a German-style café in London with the slogan "Our wurst is the best".

Look, I didn't think those up...
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"Being human, having your health; that's what's important."  (from: Magical Shopping Arcade Abenobashi )
"As long as we're all living, and as long as we're all having fun, that should do it, right?"  (from: The Eccentric Family )

ackblom12

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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #43 on: 04 Oct 2013, 13:06 »

Kat and I live just down the road from, and are frequent customers of, The Wurst Bar
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Kugai

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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #44 on: 04 Oct 2013, 15:34 »

Well, there is a local Franchise here called Fritz's Wieners  *Shrug*
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James The Kugai 

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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #45 on: 04 Oct 2013, 15:47 »

"Guŕncháng (灌肠), one of the Chinese words for sausage, also means enema", Tom choked.
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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #46 on: 04 Oct 2013, 15:52 »

"I'll have the kielbasa", Tom mustered.
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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #47 on: 04 Oct 2013, 16:01 »

"BBQ or Mustard?"  Tom asked saucily.
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jwhouk

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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #48 on: 04 Oct 2013, 16:04 »

"Secret stadium sauce from Miller Park," Tom said with a whisper.
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"Character is what you are in the Dark." - D.L. Moody
There is no joke that can be made online without someone being offended by it.
Life's too short to be ashamed of how you were born.
8645

Is it cold in here?

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Re: Random Swifties
« Reply #49 on: 10 Jul 2015, 22:23 »

"Cleaning mirrors is something I could see myself doing", Tom reflected.
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Not tonight, dear. I have a boundary.
Quote from: an unnamed minister's sermon
In your face, darkness!  We are the light and we outnumber you!
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