Horror at the Capitol, 50 Killed in Stampede
WASHINGTON, Jan. 20, 2033 (AP) -- On this very cold January morning, the President-elect approached the podium and placed his hand on a Bible:
"I, Marten Tiberius Reed, do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."
The crowd cheered for the new President Reed. The jubilation soon turned to horror, however, as an AnthroPC suddenly appeared on the jumbotrons set up at the Capitol. The robot declared, "NOW ENDS THE AGE OF MAN." The crowd, not knowing how to react, stood silent. Suddenly the robot was replaced on the screen with a picture of a man pulling open his butthole, infamously known on the Internet as "Goatse". Fifty people died in the ensuing panic, including an elderly man named Kirk. When it was revealed that the AnthroPC behind the incident was Pintsize, Reed's own AnthroPC, the House of Representatives approved articles of impeachment against Reed. If convicted by the Senate, Reed would be the shortest-serving president in history.