There's a lot of hits on Google for "Depression" and "Selfish", and often it's on sites that are attempting to help those WITH depression, in essence explaining why people with depression act the way that they do. It's even considered one of the warning signs for depression (though presumably it's hard to separate it from common douchebaggery). The problem is there's no word for "Selfish, but not your fault" in the English language, so it's hard to not make it sound confrontational. It's like someone being fat because they had a thyroid condition.
Here's an example:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-fitness/200907/10-little-known-facts-about-depressionI've had a lot of interactions with people who have depression- one of my best friends has it, an ex of his had it, and an ex-girlfriend of mine had it. Plus my best friend's wife has it to a lesser degree. The first three were all incredibly self-focused (is that a better term for it?), to an extent that would basically make them seem monstrous if it wasn't a medical condition causing it. My friend was constantly harping on about his own problems, once used self-harm to make a girl feel bad for going with another guy, and always drew attention to himself- his brother (my best friend) described their childhoods as him constantly attempting to get attention with loud caterwauling and "I'm SAD!" complaining, resulting in my best friend getting neglected a lot. He was notoriously self-absorbed- he thought nothing of borrowing or mooching off of others, but would FREAK if people asked the same of him. When called on behavior, he would often get defensive or just flat-out lie to escape criticism. It took him YEARS to mature a bit. And years before I realized that a lot of his behavior was a result of his depression- before that, he just seemed like an asshole.
And I realized years later while watching
The Sopranos that Tony Soprano (also a Depressive) had many of the same character traits- he was an "eater"- someone who made everyone's lives hell and could only think of himself. Obviously Tony's sociopathy made things much worse on that end.
Both the girls were bad for drawing attention to themselves, giving their life stories to everyone they knew in order to get sympathy, and were horrible for borrowing money and eventually just STEALING things. Oddly, all three of these people were bad with money and frequently borrowed it without paying it back. Is that common with depression sufferers? It doesn't seem like it; maybe just a weird coincidence.
In any case, the most-normal is my friend's wife, who had the lowest-grade depression. And even she could descend into helplessness and self-absorption, making her husband do everything for her. But that's the disease, y'know?
I've also had co-workers with depression who sort of piled work and complaining onto others. This of course doesn't mean that other people I knew who were totally nice didn't suffer from it- but if that was the case, then they never revealed the condition to me. So I COULD just be using a small sample-size, but given that the only people I know who had depression were also the most-self-centred, AND it's corroborated by real scientific evidence in other cases, it seems pretty clear to me.
And that's kind of the shitty thing- someone who can't do anything to help someone because they had Cancer or some other disease would get sympathy, but the depressed generally do not, because it's not some physical thing you can clearly SEE. In every case, the person with the disease suffers, but also everyone AROUND them does, as they have to watch this person helplessly-fall. Sick people of all types often feel guilt for it (guilt naturally being the WORST thing for a Depressive), even though rationally they shouldn't. It's just the thing.
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Topic: WCDT 2947-2951 (27 April to 1 May 2015) (Read 40578 times)