As I expect that I was at least one of the targets of this post (see below, right down the bottom), I felt that I should respond.
My post did suggest that I disrespect the way that people self-identify, and I apologise for that. As you say, people are the experts on their own experience, and I should in no way suggest that they are somehow incorrect in the way that they describe themselves.
Unfortunately, in more general discussion (which was the original context of the discussion as far as I was aware at the time), the euphemism treadmill is a very real occurrence, whether you like it or not. My intention was that people consider this, rather than to impose my own ideas of what language to use (which is why my initial post was in the form of questions). Careful selection of language is indeed a good and useful thing, but it needs to be done mindfully. And yes, the intent behind the language is the most important thing. There was a suggestion that this cannot be divined, but I disagree. I think that people are surprisingly good at divining the intent behind language - I saw some posts that back this up somewhere, but I don't have the time to find them now.
A couple of specific points:
The slurs that ADD, ASD, or the umbrella-term neuro-a-typical are a "euphemism" for are e.g. "Freak", "Spaz", "Schizo", "Idiot", "Retard" ...
At least one of these slurs - namely, retarded - started out as a euphemism for terms like "idiot," or "slow." Did you know?
It is a slur now precisely because of the intent behind its use.
You can live with cis & het, but not with neurotypical?
I am fine with all of those terms. Actually, I quite like 'neurotypical', for whatever that is worth (really not much).
However, in general, my point that such terms can in some cases essentially be jargon to the larger populace, and therefore may not communicate what you think that they do, stands. As does the point that these terms will, in time, inevitably carry the negative connotations you seek to avoid. So long as you are aware of these things, go for your life. Use the language you need to use, that best communicates your intent.
To be honest, I prefer to call a spade a spade, and I'm not so much a fan of calling a spade a 'soil removal device,' but I'm also not a fan of calling a spade a fucking shovel. If that helps to understand my perspective.
I apologise that I'm still probably not explaining myself well. It's too bad we can't discuss face to face.
As a side note, isn't the "you're projecting!" argument non-falsifiable, and therefore not very useful in a discussion? One can always say that, but it's better to talk about the actual comic and discuss whether a certain explanation is valid. I personally think accusing someone of projecting is slightly patronising and condescending. It's also a kind of an ad hominem.
Actually, I think that it can be pretty useful, in the right context.
Projecting is perhaps not wrong in and of itself. There's nothing wrong, really, with identifying with a particular character because that character shares a trait or an experience with you (in fact it can be helpful), or loathing another because they share a trait with an adulterous ex, or something. However, while this identification can help you in some cases, it can blind you in others. Maybe that character you identify with waved a shotgun in someone's face, and you refuse to accept that maybe that wasn't such a good thing to do. Or maybe that other character has some quite positive qualities mixed in with the ones that you see as bad, which you are unable to see because you can't look past that ex. In such cases, it is quite useful to point out that your projection is preventing you from acknowledging these things.
The full post that the opening of this post responded to:
General ether: I find it quite easy to understand that people who experience-, and deal with a thing 24/7 tend to have a rather thorough grasp on the subject matter - second only to medical professionals.
I do not think this is due to my also being neuro-a-typical (albeit not on the spectrum) - it's simple logic.
As to the general tone of the debate, which quite frankly borders on "explaining" to people what they can and cannot think and say about a medical condition they live with every day ... I'll just point to oddtail, because I'm not in a emotional state suitable for explaining things calmly and rationally right now. If this was about OCD and/or ADHD, I'd have to stare very hard at my (non-existing) cuckoo-clock in order not to give an ... impressive ... demonstration of Germans' emotive abilities.
It's common courtesy, common sense and explicit forum policy that *trans people are "the leading experts on their condition" (points to forum rules). While *trans-issues are undoubtedly on the most urgent possible level, I fail to see how that difference frees us from continuing to muster the simple decency of treating people as if they know what is happening in their lives, and which problems they face on a daily basis.
This forum is better than this.
EDIT: I also do not have
great problems with "normal" - but(ts), that's because I can reasonably fake it, most of the time. I'm one of the "passing In-Valids in Gattaca", so to speak
. Doesn't mean I don't know gnawing anxiety about saying smth. wrong, or "weird", or that "special" fills me with acute homicidal wishes. Personally, I'm neuro-a-typical - and allistic, if people feel the distinction is important.
I absolutely 'get' the idea behind "autism pride" (at least I believe I do ...) - because I'm
just far enough off of the thin red line to see how tiresomely normative, and (de-)valuing the supposedly neutral "normal"
really is.
About neurotypical: Counting all developmental disorders under neuro-a-typical, we're about 2-3% of the populace. You can live with cis & het, but not with neurotypical?
And what was that about the "
euphemism treadmill"? Where is this supposed to go? Back to
"Calling a spade a spade", perhaps?
The
slurs that ADD, ASD, or the umbrella-term neuro-a-typical are a
"euphemism" for are e.g. "Freak", "Spaz", "Schizo", "Idiot", "Retard" ...
Maybe it would be good to consider
what 'freedoms' exactly one is uncomfortable with loosing? As has been pointed out by smarter people - some weren't worth having in the first place.