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Hannelore is on the space station for her dad's birthday party

5 (13.2%)

Another impromptu party in the centre of town (no beer sledding, alas)

1 (2.6%)

A busy day at Coffee of Doom

9 (23.7%)

Bubbles takes Faye to a robot night-club to show her how synthetics party

2 (5.3%)

Either Elliot or Clinton or both take Roko to a human night-club to show her how humans party

4 (10.5%)

There is a party at the apartment; lots of people show up

0 (0%)

The town fayre has come around and Faye wants Union Robotics to have a presence there

4 (10.5%)

Opening night at the LEGAL Ultimate Robot Fighting Championship

11 (28.9%)

Other (specify in comment)

2 (5.3%)

Total Members Voted: 37

[neurocase]

I'm a little confused by all this talk of "othering" people. Ethnic backgrounds differ. Countries with similar ethnic backgrounds differ, even if not identifiably (as in people from two countries might look similar, but their countries are very different from each other culturally). Why is noticing that someone is different immediately make you a racist asshole? Isn't the whole beauty of human existence the fact that we're all so different, but have so many threads linking us at the same time? Why is pretending that everyone is exactly the same helpful?

[Shjade]

I feel like Renee got offended a panel too early. Papalymo overstepped his bounds after that for sure, but just asking where someone is from as casually as that seems a little early to get combative without any context.

He's still a massive dick, I just don't get why Renee was already exclaiming with boldface emphasis type before he actually showed his hand.

As an aside from all the in-depth explanations re: why this interaction was inappropriate given above, I'd just like to point out one thing in response to this comment: all we get to have from the comic are stop-motion visuals and text. It's easy to forget that, in the QC-verse, there's body language and tone going on that we have to infer from what we're reading, and it may not always be obvious enough to glean.

It's possible something in the way Peter asked that first question - which, on its own, could have been innocuous - that immediately threw a red flag for Renee as to his intent behind the words themselves, thus her potentially preemptive attempt to derail his line of inquiry.

Edit: as for the post directly above, there is a significant difference between noticing, appreciating, and keeping aware of ethnic/cultural differences between people, and actively drawing attention to those differences by way of suggesting someone else is not the norm/does not fit in by suggesting they are not where they belong, which is one of the many potential readings of asking where someone is from in that it suggests they don't look/act like they could possibly be "from" where they currently are. As in: "I'm cool with you being here, but you clearly don't belong like I do."

You don't have to pretend everyone is the same to avoid "noticing" someone is different in a way that makes them the Out Group.

[pwhodges]

Lebanese? With a name like Brunhilde? Wouldn't have picked that!

She's from Lawrence, not Lebanon, though.  But I agree that Brunhilde's a pretty distinctive name anywhere.

Guess it explains the eyebrows, though...

Not really.  And in any case you shouldn't say that any more than you would follow Peter in suggesting that it explained her skin colour.

[oddtail]

I'm a little confused by all this talk of "othering" people. Ethnic backgrounds differ. Countries with similar ethnic backgrounds differ, even if not identifiably (as in people from two countries might look similar, but their countries are very different from each other culturally). Why is noticing that someone is different immediately make you a racist asshole? Isn't the whole beauty of human existence the fact that we're all so different, but have so many threads linking us at the same time? Why is pretending that everyone is exactly the same helpful?

Because:

1) it's up to the person who differs to celebrate their differences. I'm out as sort-of-kind-of-bisexual, but I know plenty of bi people who don't want to discuss such matters with just about anyone. I am comfortable with my nationality, and I've joked about it, and I've had American friends make "polack" jokes in my presence. But if someone commented on my nationality, even in neutral or positive terms, unduly? I'd be probably a little miffed.
2) When people bring up differences, it's often to harm someone.
3) Even when they don't want to harm someone, they have privilege (often to troubling extents) and that often shows. In other words, when a person belonging to the dominant/majority group addresses that fact, it's often at the very least awkward and uncomfortable, because they don't know what they're talking about. And, notably, they often treat their perspective as the default or valid or important one, even unconsciously.
4) When a white person brings up race, or a straight person brings up homosexuality, they do it on their own terms. They engage with something they do not otherwise HAVE to engage with. A POC or a lesbian or an immigrant doesn't get to pick and choose when and how they engage with their minority status. That's why they should be the ones to do the framing and take the initiative.

And yes, I'm aware of the staggering irony of writing 4) as a white, mostly straight, mostly cis dude. Since I've about run out of the little I know about othering and discrimination, because I've only experienced it in extremely minor ways...

...I think I'll let peple who, unlike me, know what the f'k they're talking about take it from here.

[neurocase]

So the default behavior is to treat everyone as a grey blob? Still seems strange to me, but I'll accept it's just something that I can't understand since I'm white, and move on.

[Shjade]

So the default behavior is to treat everyone as a grey blob? Still seems strange to me, but I'll accept it's just something that I can't understand since I'm white, and move on.

You just got two different responses to this the last time you said it, and neither of them was "treat everyone as a grey blob."

At this point I have to conclude you're making these statements in bad faith rather than out of ignorance.

[neurocase]

So the default behavior is to treat everyone as a grey blob? Still seems strange to me, but I'll accept it's just something that I can't understand since I'm white, and move on.

You just got two different responses to this the last time you said it, and neither of them was "treat everyone as a grey blob."

At this point I have to conclude you're making these statements in bad faith rather than out of ignorance.

Not bad faith at all. I've read and re-read the replies, and I still have the immense sense that I just don't "get it" beyond the general idea of "don't bring up anything about a person that could be viewed as making them different, even with positive intention". I'm not particularly skilled at interpreting social cues through text. Also, I just noticed that I had posted the reply above before I saw that you had edited your post.

[oddtail]

I just don't "get it" beyond the general idea of "don't bring up anything about a person that could be viewed as making them different, even with positive intention".

I would say that's a good first step. You don't have to pretend people aren't different, but it's up to anyone to bring up their own differences, and give you a roadmap on how to discuss the subject. It's not anywhere the same as "treating them as a gray blob". It's about treating them as a person, and part of being a person is not being reduced to one characteristic when and if you don't WANT that to be the focus.

[neurocase]

What I ask now, I don't ask sarcastically, but genuinely: I'm an expat in my country; up until now, should I have been assuming that anyone asking me where I was from didn't think I should be here? Because that genuinely didn't occur to me. I was always happy to answer because I assumed it was out of curiosity, but now I'm a little unsure what to think :/

[Case]

Lebanese? With a name like Brunhilde? Wouldn't have picked that!

Guess it explains the eyebrows, though...

People have two parents, mind ...

[Shjade]

Different places are, as you noted, different, as are people. If it doesn't bother you, it doesn't bother you, and that's good!

To simplify the points made here: treat people like people, not tourist attractions. That's all.

[Milayna]

I'm a little confused by all this talk of "othering" people. Ethnic backgrounds differ. Countries with similar ethnic backgrounds differ, even if not identifiably (as in people from two countries might look similar, but their countries are very different from each other culturally). Why is noticing that someone is different immediately make you a racist asshole? Isn't the whole beauty of human existence the fact that we're all so different, but have so many threads linking us at the same time? Why is pretending that everyone is exactly the same helpful?

It sounds like you come from a demographic group that will never be seriously targeted for its differences wherever you are and so get the privilege of not really having to care.

I also have or appear to have almost every form of privilege. I can't speak for other people's experience nor fully understand it. But as a privilege-haver I can acknowledge that they are valid and look outside of myself to at least try to understand.

"Why is noticing that someone is different immediately make you a racist asshole?" Why do you believe that it is other peoples' responsibly to justify it to you/work out how to ram understanding that you can never fully get, into your soul? You don't need to *KNOW* it - just acknowledge that that's how it is in their lives, and that you need to accommodate that. Refusal to give that respect, ultimately, is what comes across as "racist asshole".

So the default behavior is to treat everyone as a grey blob? Still seems strange to me, but I'll accept it's just something that I can't understand since I'm white, and move on.

Posted mine before getting to see this. Thanks.

[Akima]

I'm a little confused by all this talk of "othering" people. Ethnic backgrounds differ. Countries with similar ethnic backgrounds differ, even if not identifiably (as in people from two countries might look similar, but their countries are very different from each other culturally). Why is noticing that someone is different immediately make you a racist asshole?

Basically, because history. Lots of very bad history. The noticing of difference has far, far more often had malign consequences than good ones, so blurting out a comment on it, especially on very short acquaintance, is not generally a good idea.

I'm an Australian*, but people routinely "notice my difference", and call me "Chinese", which is essentially denying my nationality and treating my citizenship as somehow not "real". I've been told that I "don't look Australian", by people who "notice my difference" too. Suffice it to say, the consequences of having people "notice my difference" are not usually inclusive, or pleasant.

*I am an ethnic Han, and was born in China, but I am a naturalised Australian citizen.

[Wombat]

What I ask now, I don't ask sarcastically, but genuinely: I'm an expat in my country; up until now, should I have been assuming that anyone asking me where I was from didn't think I should be here? Because that genuinely didn't occur to me. I was always happy to answer because I assumed it was out of curiosity, but now I'm a little unsure what to think :/

Being asked where you're from is different as a white person than a person of color, at least in America. I'm white and currently living, like, ten miles from where I was born, and I get asked where I'm from all the time because I have a speech impediment that sounds to some people like an accent. When I'm asked, it's with a tone of excitement, while when my friends who are people of color are asked, it's less excitement and more, "So, you're different." It's hard to explain the difference, but I've found it noticeable. It also happens on top of a mountain of additional othering.

There's also a difference in an accent ("accent" in my case) vs skin color as promptimg the "Where are you from?" question. An accent could suggest that someone personally emigrated from somewhere or moved a notable distance, while skin color does no such thing. My friend who I mentioned in my previous story was born in the same hospital I was. People assume I'm American by looking at me, but don't assume the same about her, when all we've done is exist, not even speaking to the people yet.

It also still gets tiring to be asked where I'm from. I usually go into explaining I have a speech impediment, but sometimes I'll just say, "I'm from here," if I'm in my city, or the name of my city if I'm not, or Michigan if I'm in another state. And sometimes when I just do that, people insist that I'm wrong, which is a real barrel of monkeys.

[BenRG]

So, here's a little bit of trivia obtained through Google and Wikipedia (so, blame them if I'm getting this wrong ). Lawrence, Massachusetts appears to have a past strongly linked to Germanic immigrants. So, if Brun was born there, a given name of 'Brunhilde' is not entirely unthinkable.

That aside, I think I posted this yesterday but I'm pretty sure that the big gathering Jeph is going to be drawing is a normal day shift at The Horrible Revelation, Brun's place of work. I'm thinking that she's going to be asking Elliott and/or Clinton to help her understand some of what Peter said and some of Renee's behaviour. I strongly suspect that the question: "Do you think I'm 'exotic'?" and possibly "Do you admire my butt in passing?" may be included there. The gent in question's flop-sweat attempt to dance around those questions may be quite comedic! Naturally, Brun will treat the whole conversation as something quite dryly factual and may be genuinely puzzled if the guys are too flustered to answer.

[TheEvilDog]

An even quicker search tells me that there are 50,000 Lebanese people living Germany. So its quite likely Brun's parents lived in Germany or were from Germany before moving to the States.

[Tai Fanboi]

So, here's a little bit of trivia obtained through Google and Wikipedia (so, blame them if I'm getting this wrong ). Lawrence, Massachusetts appears to have a past strongly linked to Germanic immigrants. So, if Brun was born there, a given name of 'Brunhilde' is not entirely unthinkable.

Add in that Germany and Lebanon have been quite friendly diplomatic wise since the late 1700's - 1800's.  It was considered the "Switzerland of the Middle East" and was a prime location for many German businessmen and a popular vacation spot.  Many hotels in Lebanon were opened and run by German business men who brought in other's for cultural exchanges and tourism, and co-partnered teams of Lebanese and German archaeologists excavated the ancient sites of Baalbek, Anjar, Tell el-Burak and Kamid el-Loz.  Germany also provided support to rebuild after the Lebanese Civil War. 

[94ssd]

I didn't need a reason to love Brun more, but now I have one.

+1 for representing Arab characters and being casual about it without making their religion a huge deal. Growing up I was never able to see Arabs represented in popular fiction other than as villains or at best victims.

[eschaton]

This is one of the strips that makes me love Brun a little more. She really has the most healthy attitude about ethnicity. She's not Lebanese-American, she's Brun from Lawrence whose family, when she thinks about it, are Lebanese (FWIW, I wouldn't be surprised if they came to the US as refugees in the 1980s when Lebanon was a lawless war-zone). Everything about her ethnic background is just set-dressing for her because who she is as a person defines her.

Lawrence MA has a Lebanese community IRL, which dates back to around 1900.  Almost all Lebanese Christians, FWIW, so it's very unlikely Brun is Muslim. 

I'm honestly a bit surprised Brun got this question though.  Most Lebanese people I've known IRL (I've known a bunch) are pretty much physically indistinguishable from Italians or Greeks, and are basically given white privilege in the U.S. 

[94ssd]

This is one of the strips that makes me love Brun a little more. She really has the most healthy attitude about ethnicity. She's not Lebanese-American, she's Brun from Lawrence whose family, when she thinks about it, are Lebanese (FWIW, I wouldn't be surprised if they came to the US as refugees in the 1980s when Lebanon was a lawless war-zone). Everything about her ethnic background is just set-dressing for her because who she is as a person defines her.

Lawrence MA has a Lebanese community IRL, which dates back to around 1900.  Almost all Lebanese Christians, FWIW, so it's very unlikely Brun is Muslim. 

I'm honestly a bit surprised Brun got this question though.  Most Lebanese people I've known IRL (I've known a bunch) are pretty much physically indistinguishable from Italians or Greeks, and are basically given white privilege in the U.S.

I don't disagree that having a lighter skin tone does give advantages over other minorities. But I'd dispute the notion that that translates to 'basically having white privilege.' I've dealt with harassment and bullying all my life, related both to my skin tone and my unmistakably Middle Eastern last name. I of course am more fortunate a. being half Arab and b. living in today's society, in the sense that my grandfather had to deal with being attacked when he was young, and having his business vandalized after September 11th. He of course grew up in a different time, and his skin tone is unmistakably non-white, not dissimilar to how Brun is drawn (although to be fair to your comment, he is much more tanned than most other people from the Levant I've met, including my grandma, now that I think about it). I've also been harrassed based on people's assumption that I'm Hispanic.

I'm sure it depends greatly on where you live, and the fact that I live in the South doesn't help. But there are things that happen. 

[Lear]

+1 for representing Arab characters and being casual about it without making their religion a huge deal. Growing up I was never able to see Arabs represented in popular fiction other than as villains or at best victims.

I'm a bit confused now.
As one of those priviledged white men who'd have thought nothing of asking someone where they are from, I can see how that question could be seen as putting labels on people, even if unintentional, and that those labels should not matter. Characters/People are not defined by their labels, they just have characteristics - and asking might be misunderstood. Got it.

But if so, how could it simultanously be remarkable to have an "Arab character"? Not to step on your toes, 94ssd, but despite her family appearently coming from Lebanon, up to this post it did not even cross my mind to see Brun as an Arab. Is a - so far - throwaway line about someones parents nationality (if even) enough to define a character like that? 

Somehow, it gave me flashbacks to english language class tought by an American exchange teacher about political correctness. It was really strange - her goal was to show as images for us to describe, so she could show us what about it is politically incorrect. Too bad she started with a 'normal' looking guy and, after five minutes of silence, explained to us that he was jewish looking, and why he was jewish looking (large nose etc.), only so we would know not to call him jewish looking. But even worse, the guy in the wheelchair was not the guy in the wheelchair, he was the nice young gentleman with short blonde hair. So, if you were at a party looking for him, you'd describe him like that, not mentioning the wheelchair. So pretty much all I learned from her is not to mention obvious, visible characteristic, and how to call someone something they might not be based on vague characteristics.
Why I mention this? Because this feels the same again, I have no idea how to make sense of the information given, and is so disruptive to my worldview. It's not that I'm unwilling to change, but I really need good explainations to understand it.

[TV4Fun]

Uh guys, Papadapoulos wasn't wrong because he asked Brun about her ethnicity, though that part was a little weird. It was more the very openly creeping on her thing that was wrong.

[TheEvilDog]

Yeah, let's just be clear here for a second.

Pascal said Brun was "exotic". He was clearly eyeing her up as a sexual target. That much was clear in Thursday's comic. Renee's response today was not to a seemingly racist comment, but because she knew he was hankering for something else.

[Zebediah]

Well, that was a long read.

A few general comments, not necessarily directed at anyone specific:

There have been established Lebanese communities in the US for well over a century. It is in no way unusual or “exotic” - it’s just one ethnicity in this crazy-quilt that makes up America. Name an ethnic group, we probably have it here. So Peter is way out of line on that score. There are no “exotic” people.

I got a definite vibe from Peter that when he heard “Lebanese” he thought “Hey, there’s a notch I don’t have in my belt yet!” Looks like Renee interpreted it the same way. Being attracted to Brun is one thing - reducing her to an ethnicity and being attracted to that is something else altogether.

And asking someone about their ethnic history is ok if you’ve gotten to know them as a person at least a little bit first. It’s not ok to ask someone you don’t know about it, because it comes across as you trying to define them by their ethnicity. (And you probably are.)

[sitnspin]

"Where are you from" is code for "Why aren't you white?"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PAZTWRqaAwA

[Oenone]

I get why Renee was annoyed now. I bet he thought he was fucking someone “exotic” and expressed surprise Renee is a regular ol black person.

[Oenone]

Also, it’s othering because white Americans don’t ask other white Americans where they are from. It’s a question that implies you aren’t yourself American.

[TheEvilDog]

I get why Renee was annoyed now. I bet he thought he was fucking someone “exotic” and expressed surprise Renee is a regular ol black person.

Not quite. It was more as Zebediah said, Pernando was probably thinking "time for another notch on the belt, another conquest".

[Oenone]

Keep in mind that Tomi Lauren just tweeted something about how the votes of Americans with 4 grandparents born in the US are more significant than the votes of others, in a way where she was using lineage as a synecdoche for race. I’m someone with a stereotypically nonwhite surname, with all 4 grandparents US citizens. I’m way more likely to have my “right” to American identity questioned than Lahrens and I’m not the voter she imagines when she tweets stuff like that.

[Oenone]

The interrogation of belonging is part of treating WOC as sexual “conquests”

[Milayna]

Keep in mind that Tomi Lauren just tweeted something about how the votes of Americans with 4 grandparents born in the US are more significant than the votes of others, in a way where she was using lineage as a synecdoche for race. I’m someone with a stereotypically nonwhite surname, with all 4 grandparents US citizens. I’m way more likely to have my “right” to American identity questioned than Lahrens and I’m not the voter she imagines when she tweets stuff like that.

She was also pretty obviously invoking Grandfather Clauses because you can't spell "overton window" without "black people aren't really americans and should in fact be slaves"

[eschaton]

I get why Renee was annoyed now. I bet he thought he was fucking someone “exotic” and expressed surprise Renee is a regular ol black person.

As an aside, Jeph has gotten much, much better at drawing black people.  When he first introduced Renee to the comic years ago, I thought she was South Asian like Padma, because of how she was drawn.  This was a good retcon. 

Though Dale still doesn't really look black to me. 

[TV4Fun]

As an aside, Jeph has gotten much, much better at drawing black people.  When he first introduced Renee to the comic years ago, I thought she was South Asian like Padma, because of how she was drawn.  This was a good retcon. 

Though Dale still doesn't really look black to me. 

Yeah, I'd say Dale looks more South Indian to me, though perhaps you should just try asking Dale where he's from.

[Is it cold in here?]

Thus completely explaining why not to do it.

It would be an easy mistake for a decent person to make. On the train, white strangers will ask each other where they are from. Same words but not really the same question.

[Case]

So, here's a little bit of trivia obtained through Google and Wikipedia (so, blame them if I'm getting this wrong ). Lawrence, Massachusetts appears to have a past strongly linked to Germanic immigrants. So, if Brun was born there, a given name of 'Brunhilde' is not entirely unthinkable.

Add in that Germany and Lebanon have been quite friendly diplomatic wise since the late 1700's - 1800's.  It was considered the "Switzerland of the Middle East" and was a prime location for many German businessmen and a popular vacation spot.  Many hotels in Lebanon were opened and run by German business men who brought in other's for cultural exchanges and tourism, and co-partnered teams of Lebanese and German archaeologists excavated the ancient sites of Baalbek, Anjar, Tell el-Burak and Kamid el-Loz.  Germany also provided support to rebuild after the Lebanese Civil War.

An even quicker search tells me that there are 50,000 Lebanese people living Germany. So its quite likely Brun's parents lived in Germany or were from Germany before moving to the States.

Ok, just to preempt misunderstandings about the name Brunhilde being some quintessential German name or smth.: It is very much not.

Very few contemporary German women (roughly 1:100.000) bear the name of a Visigoth princess that translates into "she-who-fights-clad-in-armour" in a language that nobody has spoken in a millennium.

The most popular the name ever got in Germany was in 1925 - ranked place 63 - and that was probably largely due to the Wagner-opera and a fad for 'Germanic' names (The German peoples are old as balls. Germany the nation, otoh, is barely 150. The most quintessentially German question is "what does it mean to be German?". Naming your offspring 'He-who-bathes-his-famous-sword-in-the-blood-of-enemies' or whatnot was apparently considered a viable answer at the time).

And that's not considering the cruelty inherent in naming a child of Lebanese heritage after a legendary 'Norse' (*) Warrior Princess that popular imagination holds to be some blue-eyed, blonde-haired, milk-skinned ideal of the prototypical central European woman.

Note also that the Ring der Nibelungen was very much part of attempts to weave a re-imagined heroic Germanic past into a national origin myth which birthed the Völkisch brand of racism of the Nazis - 'That private form Austria' was a devoted fan of Wagners.


(*) The actual historic Brunhild was born in the Visigoth capital of Toledo - As in Toledo, Spain.

[TheEvilDog]

Fair enough and thank you for that information, Case.

[Milayna]

If anything, it reminds me that the eidolon (summon) (Stand) of the black guy in Final Fantasy 13 is Brynhildr. I don't know if it's just a coincidence that two fictional works decided to go with associating POC with that name or if there's something more to it. Interesting history though, Case =)

[Case]

Interesting history though, Case =)

Just wanted to point out that a lot of it is about as 'historic' as Camelot, and substantially younger.

(And a lot of it isn't even German in any meaning of the word ...)

Lebanese? With a name like Brunhilde? Wouldn't have picked that!

Guess it explains the eyebrows, though...

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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theo_Waigel



https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hans-Christian_Str%C3%B6bele



https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gerhard_Schr%C3%B6der



https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philipp_Lahm

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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sibel_Kekilli

[Shjade]

It would be an easy mistake for a decent person to make. On the train, white strangers will ask each other where they are from. Same words but not really the same question.

Being in a transition space like that can also change the context considerably. Like I could see it coming up in casual conversation between any group of people who get to chatting on an international flight, where everyone's state of belonging is much more up in the air (pun wholly intended).

[Quantum Glass]

Also, it’s othering because white Americans don’t ask other white Americans where they are from. It’s a question that implies you aren’t yourself American.

...I'll confess that I actually do this.

I mean it in a "so what part of the country did you grow up in?" kind of way, as a means to show polite interest in the other party without getting too personal.

I hadn't considered the implications. I need to rethink my stock smalltalk.

[hedgie]

The last time I did this, I hope I didn't fuck it up too badly.  I asked a friend's husband (with a VERY Japanese surname) where in Hawaii he was from, 'cos I had assumed that he was from there given to a total obsession with everything there[1] and given the state's demographics, it seemed reasonable.  He replied that he was actually from $local_area, and didn't seem offended.  I still wonder if it was wrong to do so.

[1] as in peppering in words like "aloha" and "mahalo" frequently, going there 3-4 times a year, only playing Hawaiian music in his car, etc.

[DSL]

The last time I visited a city of any size, I smiled to myself in delight as I left the store next to my hotel, thinking of the counter clerk of Southeast Asian appearance but with a name tag bearing a very French name, conversing in fluent Spanish with the customer ahead of me, and how different that sight would have been at a store of the same chain in my hometown.

I see now what a monster I was.

[TheEvilDog]

A couple of years ago, my father was in hospital after having a hernia repaired. He was on the ward and one day when I was visiting him, he got very curious about one of the nurses. She looked Hispanic, had a Hispanic sounding name, but he was insisting that I ask her where she was from. I told him I couldn't do that, its rude and who cares where she's from. So eventually he just asked her. And she replied "Tralee" with a very thick Kerry accent (County Kerry being infamous for having an accent indecipherable to anyone not from Kerry). Everybody laughed. She explained its not the first time she's been asked and it wouldn't be the last. But it was an icebreaker and my father quickly became a favourite patient of hers.

People are naturally curious where others come from. In some instances, its a conversation starter. I've worked in Tourism and you have to ask people where they are from, you need to know so you can help them, even if it was just to use Google Translate to get them directions to a hotel or a bed and breakfast.

But it is very much dependent on the context. If someone is on a train, they've got a suitcase, you're going to be curious about what kind of journey they've made. Its a conversation, you're showing an interest in another person and the both of you are passing the time.

That said, when you're in a strange apartment, everyone is in a partial state of dress and you're a horndog looking to make another notch on your belt, then the question marks you as a colossal douche.

[eschaton]

I'm reminded of the third verse from the Murs song DSWG.  A great hip-hop song BTW. 

Now for you half and half of mixed girls
I know what the battle be
Every time you go out it's "whats your nationality?"
Everybody always wanna dig up in ya background
You don't look, now how does that sound?
I couldn't tell you were, oh is that right?
Do you take it as a compliment or start up a fight?
Venezuelan and Indian, 'Rican and Dominican
Japanese or Portuguese, Quarter of Brazilian
White and Korean, Black and Pinay
I could find out later
It don't matter, ya fly
It don't really matter to most of us guys
We just need an excuse to get close or say "hi"
I know they call you stuck up
Ya think you're too pretty
Spread rumors about you all throughout the city
So much attention, so many haters
But don't be bitter, you'll be better for it later

[Is it cold in here?]

The last time I visited a city of any size, I smiled to myself in delight as I left the store next to my hotel, thinking of the counter clerk of Southeast Asian appearance but with a name tag bearing a very French name, conversing in fluent Spanish with the customer ahead of me, and how different that sight would have been at a store of the same chain in my hometown.

I see now what a monster I was.

How so? You smiled with delight at being in a multicultural situation as opposed to making someone uncomfortable by treating them as Other.

[Is it cold in here?]

What I ask now, I don't ask sarcastically, but genuinely: I'm an expat in my country; up until now, should I have been assuming that anyone asking me where I was from didn't think I should be here? Because that genuinely didn't occur to me. I was always happy to answer because I assumed it was out of curiosity, but now I'm a little unsure what to think :/

It could be straightforward curiosity if you're not from a marginalized group and being treated with suspicion.

When Akima wrote just now about people saying "You don't look Australian", she didn't mention that one of them was a US border guard at LAX. See the ICE thread in DISCUSS for an idea how bad that could have gotten.

[brasca]

Seeing as how Jeph deemed this dude a dick there’s nothing to dispute, but I do wonder if his reason for asking the question was based on looks or how Brun sounds.  Does she have an accent and if she does would it be rude to ask where she’s from? 

[TheEvilDog]

I imagine Brun sounds very flat with a monotone. No inflections or anything like that. I mean nothing we've seen indicates she has much of an accent, no use of regional dialect or slang.

So it seems he asked purely based on how she looks.

[Is it cold in here?]

I think there is confusion because two ethically different questions can be asked using the same words.

On the train, a place where nobody lives, it means "Can we make stupid small talk?".

From Pericles to Brun it was "What kind of Other are you?".

[Near Lurker]

I have to think if Piro'd been smarter, he could've asked about the Arabs of Lawrence.

Regardless, her name was clearly given to her by a soothsayer who saw her surrounded by flames.  (And then the gas company blew up her hometown.)