Topic: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER (Read 1073987 times)

scarred · « **Reply #3250 on:** 10 Feb 2010, 20:35 »

Had a couple beers with dinner. Yum, yum. Unemployment sucks.

ViolentDove · « **Reply #3251 on:** 10 Feb 2010, 21:30 »

Quote from: Ballard on 10 Feb 2010, 01:01

Sorry to lay some deep shit on this page but I need some advice.

I have been smoking for about a year; it started just at parties occasionally. In September I started smoking on the regular, at least a few times a week, and this escalated steadily for some time until I was smoking almost every day. Lately it's been less but I realized recently that I've been feeling depressed, anxious, and/or shitty a lot more than is normal for me. I'm generally a happy-go-lucky dude but these last few months, more and more often, it has happened that I've been struck suddenly and without warning by strong feelings of suicide and depression out of nowhere.

The other day I got higher than I've been in ages at a friend's house and we both moved to pass out in her bed but instead of falling asleep I bugged out and tripped balls. Without hyperbole, this felt 10x more like a trip than my acid trip. The world tore apart around me and I felt myself falling into a black abyss. Suddenly my mind flooded with dark, horrifying thoughts that presented themselves as undeniable realities regarding my life and the world around me. Sinking lower and lower, I came to the realization that underneath all the subterfuge, the world is a horrible, desperate place run by merciless psychological systems, and that everyone just lies to themselves in different ways to combat this. I felt lonely and beyond help. I remember waking up my friend and saying "holy shit, this is the worst I've ever felt in my life" but when she asked if she could do anything for me, I said "I don't know" and let her go back to bed. Eventually, overwhelmed, I gave up trying to fight this demon with positive thoughts and let it wash over me in hopes that eventually it would go away.

I don't remember falling asleep but I woke up at noon the next day, feeling perfectly fine if burned as fuck.

There have been many other experiences less intense than this but still shitty. Smoking seems to amplify these feelings. My life is going great socially, romantically, and professionally, and I haven't been traumatized by anything as far as I can recall. I don't really understand what is going on or why, but I'm worried and want to resolve it.

You should quit smoking for a while. I had a problem with smoking bringing on anxiety and panic attacks, and know people who have had it trigger psychotic episodes. If you've got a family history of these kind of things, even more so.

After a year or two of quitting I can smoke lightly, but we're talking like 1/3 of a joint every couple of weeks, not punching fifteen cones of hydro a day.

ViolentDove · « **Reply #3252 on:** 10 Feb 2010, 21:35 »

I feel like maybe there wasn't enough emphasis in that last post perhaps. You should really, really quit smoking.

Not trying to scare you or anything, but it sounds similar to the start of what happened to two different friends of mine, and it pretty much ruined their lives, so I'd err on the side of caution!

onewheelwizzard · « **Reply #3253 on:** 10 Feb 2010, 21:59 »

Yeah Gene it sounds like smoking weed might not be helping too much.

On the other hand, it's very likely that just getting high was not the most significant reason for that episode. It's likely that you've been smoking more pot because you've felt more anxious and depressed recently, rather than the other way round, and you happened to recently hit an extreme in both.

Clearly a few lifestyle changes are in order, and it seems likely that toning down your weed intake a great deal will be a major part of that ... it won't fix the problem in and of itself (because smoking more weed is probably a symptom rather than a cause) but if that part is easy, that'll mean you're doing OK.

allison · « **Reply #3254 on:** 10 Feb 2010, 22:24 »

$3 bottles of Keith's at Molly Bloom? Right across the street from my 6-9pm class? YES PLEASE!

Ballard · « **Reply #3255 on:** 10 Feb 2010, 22:34 »

I think the plan right now is to stop smoking for long enough to evaluate what's going on in my head. The time I used to take to reflect on daily goings-on and learn to meditate I replaced with smoking (in the flawed belief that it was the same deal or better for me) and that resulted in a shitty, endless inner monologue that plagues me any time I get high.

I honestly don't think that my pot smoking has become a coping mechanism. I have never consciously gotten high to feel better. Usually I smoke when I'm in a good mood and just wanna chill.

Quitting smoking will only be difficult because a large majority of my friends smoke often and it's just become a part of my life and recreation plans. I don't find myself psychologically addicted. Quite the opposite, since lately I've come to associate feeling like ass about myself with being high.

Is it it possible that I can resolve my issues in a healthy manner and then smoke again and enjoy it as a positive experience, without worry?

onewheelwizzard · « **Reply #3256 on:** 10 Feb 2010, 23:33 »

Quote from: Ballard on 10 Feb 2010, 22:34

Quitting smoking will only be difficult because a large majority of my friends smoke often and it's just become a part of my life and recreation plans.

Dogg it is really, really easy to just be like "no thanks" when you're chilling with people and they're smoking and they offer you the joint or bowl or whatever. You might get a few people halfheartedly complaining about how you're a buzzkill, but unless they are your best friend and they are only saying that because they're really, really used to smoking with you and genuinely miss the good ol' gettin' stoned and hangin' out ritual (and, as your established best friend, are within their rights to voice some degree of disappointment), this is actually just an indicator that there is no reason to ever make them your best friend. Anyone who talks shit on you for opting not to smoke with them is a douchebag. With this in mind, you should find it no problem at all. ("I'm taking a break" is all anyone should ever need to hear.)

Alternately, you may discover that it is not smoking weed that makes you feel shitty, but rather, the nature of the situations in which you smoke weed (and therefore always coincide with your high). If you find yourself getting all anxious and depressed when you're hanging with your buddies and everyone but you is smoking, it was probably not the pot that made you anxious and depressed in the first place.

Halfway through college I realized that, ever since I'd smoked for the first time during the summer after graduating from high school, I hadn't gone longer than 3 weeks without getting high. I decided that if I still cared about learning about my mind (which was the goal I had when I started using drugs), I should probably take some time to find out what happens when I stay sober. I abstained from all mind alterants altogether for 3 months. It was a piece of cake, and it ended up helping quite a bit. I recommend that you go with 40 days ... see how you feel after 40 days of not smoking (and honestly I'd recommend not drinking either), and if you think you've figured some shit out, try it again and see if anything's different.

If this sounds like an unpleasant exercise in asceticism, that is actually a good indicator that you'll benefit from it. If, instead, it sounds like it really wouldn't be a big deal at all, that's also a good reason to try it out (proving yourself right will be worth it).

Ballard · « **Reply #3257 on:** 11 Feb 2010, 01:12 »

This sounds like a very good thing to do.

syrupykeyboard · « **Reply #3258 on:** 11 Feb 2010, 01:40 »

My pager is bollucks. My invisible cane snapped in half. I am slightly high.
Someone needed a differential?

ViolentDove · « **Reply #3259 on:** 11 Feb 2010, 03:40 »

Quote from: Ballard on 10 Feb 2010, 22:34

Is it it possible that I can resolve my issues in a healthy manner and then smoke again and enjoy it as a positive experience, without worry?

Like I said, I got into a state where smoking would always bring on a panic attack. Now I am pretty fine with it! It took quitting for a a year or two and now I smoke very lightly when I do at all. The whole thing also helped me work out that I vastly prefer to be lightly stoned rather than smashed, which is what I was doing with bongs as a teenager, and stopped me from smoking too regularly.

But as I also kinda implied, some friends of mine have drug-induced mental problems which were severely exacerbated by smoking, which resulted in schizophrenia and them being in and out of mental hospitals. One was purely from pot and the other was from pot and a few other things, and from what I understand from the science* it's usually only like this if you've got a predisposition towards these conditions.

So I guess I'd be taking what's happening to you as a bit of a warning sign to get off the weed for a while and see how it goes. As OWW says if your friends are any kind of decent friends they'll be fine with you passing on a toke.

*I'm not at all familiar, just what I picked up at the time from a few mental health docs which might be well out of date by now.

greenMonkey · « **Reply #3260 on:** 11 Feb 2010, 19:13 »

Mmmmm beer. Hoping for some bombers of good tasty shit tomorrow.

Aurjay · « **Reply #3261 on:** 11 Feb 2010, 22:46 »

4day weekend capped off with a case of bud light(don't judge me) and a small bottle of captain's. Tomorrow is snowboarding and then rest of the weekend will be spent recovering from said snowboarding.

Dimmukane · « **Reply #3262 on:** 12 Feb 2010, 23:07 »

Went to Belgian Beerfest at Max's.

Yeah, I think that's all I have to say.

sean · « **Reply #3263 on:** 13 Feb 2010, 00:21 »

i am having such an odd high

i have not been like this in ages

no no, its a good thing though

I Am Not Amused · « **Reply #3264 on:** 13 Feb 2010, 01:57 »

WHY DO WE NEED A TUMBLR ACCOUNT>

And why do you need to tell me at 3:30 in the morning (4:30 your time)?

Also why am I up to read this e-mail?

Oh, alcohol.

I like how it can be a good night even if it was an unsuccessful night.

Also, BARCRAWLTOMORROW>

greenMonkey · « **Reply #3265 on:** 13 Feb 2010, 17:13 »

Sierra Nevada Pale Ale + Sierra Nevada Stout = Sierra Nevada Black and Tan. YUSSSSSSSSSSSSSS>

Darkbluerabbit · « **Reply #3266 on:** 14 Feb 2010, 02:37 »

Quote from: Jeans on 13 Feb 2010, 06:48

this hangover is amazing. It's like someone took all the pain in the world and rolled it into a litte ball and put it inside my head. I am extremely impressed at my own ability to inflict pain on myself.

I am so glad I'm not the only one who is sort of proud of their crushing hangovers. I don't get them that often, ya know?

Patrick · « **Reply #3267 on:** 14 Feb 2010, 03:16 »

My first bowl in a month last night and it was the strongest high I've ever had.

Went to a party and saw people I haven't seen since 2004 which completely fried my brain. Good memories caused a ridiculous endorphin rush, and I think endorphin overload + hellllllllllllla THC might permafry me.

Aurjay · « **Reply #3268 on:** 14 Feb 2010, 11:07 »

i think i broke my neck snowboarding. Doesn't help we killed a 5th of black velvet in the parking lot of the ski lodge before going.

abadname · « **Reply #3269 on:** 16 Feb 2010, 19:23 »

Drinking Three Philosophers, my first beer i have bought myself.

It's gooooood

pilsner · « **Reply #3270 on:** 16 Feb 2010, 20:50 »

You have lost your beer buying virginity to a model. The bad news is that it is all downhill from here. Enjoy the next ten years of buying Natty Lite for your bros and hating them in silence.

abadname · « **Reply #3271 on:** 16 Feb 2010, 21:31 »

Ha i hope not, i havent been id'd yet. I still have a peche lambic in the fridge, another night

Dimmukane · « **Reply #3272 on:** 16 Feb 2010, 21:49 »

so fucakina hig h

built a hugeaas igaeloo (quiajanzee, jamees)

piacs to cowme seoo n

StreetSpirit · « **Reply #3273 on:** 16 Feb 2010, 22:19 »

For one of my buddy's 30th birthday we took a few rounds of Dirty Pompadours (supposedly a New Orleans shot: half can of red bull+1 shot orange vodka+1/2 - 1 shot of jager for color+ drop a shot a jager into it and chug).
It is the dirty punk rock version of the jager bomb, the version that leaves you with a beautiful liquid tie by the end of the night. Thank you Za's, thank you New Orleans, thank you Doo Wop shop. Farewell.

greenMonkey · « **Reply #3274 on:** 17 Feb 2010, 16:41 »

Sierra Nevada Stout is so good. Drinking it out of my official college glass stein, and it's leaving a beautiful streak pattern down the side.

scarred · « **Reply #3275 on:** 17 Feb 2010, 17:09 »

Had Shock Top for the first time. It was awesome.

Toba · « **Reply #3276 on:** 17 Feb 2010, 21:58 »

Sierra Nevada can do no wrong in my book but I have not had their stout yet. Must get!

imapiratearg · « **Reply #3277 on:** 17 Feb 2010, 22:09 »

sooouuurrr diieeeseell

Also: Got a new bowl a couple of days ago. Hell yeah.

Drill King · « **Reply #3278 on:** 18 Feb 2010, 08:06 »

God why am I drunk at noon and trying to write an essay on Gauthier's exhibit Machines at play and trying to argue why machines can invoke intimacy based on scratching noises.

greenMonkey · « **Reply #3279 on:** 18 Feb 2010, 16:01 »

Quote from: Sam on 18 Feb 2010, 06:27

solo'd avery's salvation ale. so good, so drinkable. poured entire bomber into a mason jar and drank from that because there weren't any good glasses left

This is why I have my Official. British. Pint. Glass.

It has the Queen's seal and everything.

Toba · « **Reply #3280 on:** 18 Feb 2010, 23:49 »

Mason Jar beer works great I have no reason to dislike it. I just want a mason jar with a handle.. I mean, a pint glass.

Patrick · « **Reply #3281 on:** 19 Feb 2010, 00:02 »

Give me a bucket and we're cool

scarred · « **Reply #3282 on:** 19 Feb 2010, 00:21 »

drinkin' the last of my mirror pond / shock top and watching the olympics (fuck yeah curling)

LYSACEK I LOVE YOU

David_Dovey · « **Reply #3283 on:** 19 Feb 2010, 00:26 »

Oh yeah I was supposed to get high, be right back

Ballard · « **Reply #3284 on:** 19 Feb 2010, 12:06 »

Hey guys, problem solved.

onewheelwizzard · « **Reply #3285 on:** 19 Feb 2010, 14:45 »

Quote from: Toba on 18 Feb 2010, 23:49

a mason jar with a handle

NOBEL PRIZE RIGHT HERE FOLKS

sean · « **Reply #3286 on:** 19 Feb 2010, 16:18 »

so the weed my buddy copped this weekend looks a lot better than the ditch weed we've been getting and he says its a lot better. im pretty stoked to try it!

sean · « **Reply #3287 on:** 19 Feb 2010, 19:09 »

im so stoned right now

A Wet Helmet · « **Reply #3288 on:** 19 Feb 2010, 19:25 »

I swear you either aren't even trying, or aren't nearly rural enough.

Not only do they already make mason jars with handles, (I have drank out of them) you can even have that shit engraved for your fancy-pants redneck wedding reception at the moose lodge.

I ain't kidding.

Toba · « **Reply #3289 on:** 19 Feb 2010, 23:32 »

Quote from: A Wet Helmet on 19 Feb 2010, 19:25

I ain't kidding.

Straight pimpin'

Stryc9Fuego · « **Reply #3290 on:** 23 Feb 2010, 15:31 »

I am straight up drinkin' the Thunderbird of Scotch tonight:

Is that a motherfuckin' "I'm too drunk for a cork" screw-top? YES IT FUCKING IS!
srsly, this is smooth whisky with no aftertaste... or before taste, or during taste.

And for true dirt-poorness, I'm drinking it out of a plastic measure cup from a bottle of NyQuil.
Anybody ever hit this shit?

Yayniall · « **Reply #3291 on:** 23 Feb 2010, 18:21 »

Oh sailor jerry you old dog you.

scarred · « **Reply #3292 on:** 24 Feb 2010, 02:44 »

fucking love sailor jerry! +1

Gemmwah · « **Reply #3293 on:** 24 Feb 2010, 03:36 »

+1 goddamn

greenMonkey · « **Reply #3294 on:** 25 Feb 2010, 18:31 »

Best way to recover from a tough cycling workout: hamburger and beer. My stash is dwindling though, so I will need to go a-questing in search of more booze. Lately I've been experiencing a craving for some good single malt scotch.

Dimmukane · « **Reply #3295 on:** 25 Feb 2010, 20:12 »

man oh man

my buddy got some purple haze

smoked a half bowl after class

fuggin' christ

all sorts of particles and shit whipping around on the road

thought i was flying over a field of snow dunes

onewheelwizzard · « **Reply #3296 on:** 01 Mar 2010, 06:34 »

You forgot the LSD.

Ozymandias · « **Reply #3297 on:** 01 Mar 2010, 10:24 »

^ That is basically how I imagine your reaction to when anyone makes anything consumable.

"Hey I made some mac 'n' cheese."
"You forgot the LSD."

"Hey I just cooked up a tasty steak."
"Is it marinated in LSD?"

"Want some jelly beans?"
"Ooh, are there LSD ones?"

Zingoleb · « **Reply #3298 on:** 01 Mar 2010, 11:11 »

That reminds me of this test which was something like, "How low would you sell out?" and it had all these questions...i.e., would you run over a dog for a million dollars, kill a person for a million dollars, put an innocent person in jail for a million dollars, eat three bowls of live spiders for a million dollars.

Then there was one, "Would you spike everyone's drink at Thanksgiving with LSD for a million dollars?" and I remember thinking, "Fuck, I'd do that for free."

Alex C · « **Reply #3299 on:** 01 Mar 2010, 11:35 »

I'd probably sell out for very, very little provided that I was certain I could be reasonably isolated from any consequences.

THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

Author Topic: YOU! YOU BETTER NOT BE SOBER (Read 1073987 times)

Zingoleb