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Best/Worst things to say during sex?

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StMonkey:

--- Quote from: onepostwonder on 16 Oct 2007, 03:48 ---Down at an English fair,
One evening I was there,
When I heard a showman shouting
Underneath the flare:

Hoi've got a lo-ve-ly bunch o' coconuts.
There they are a-standin' in a row.
Big ones, small ones, some as big as yer 'ead!
Give 'em a twist, a flick o' the wrist,
That's what the showman said.

Hoi've got a lo-ve-ly bunch o' coconuts.
Hevery ball yer throw will make me rich.
There stands me wife, the idol of me life,
Singin' "roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!

Singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!
Singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!
Roll a-bowl a ball, roll a-bowl a boll, singin' roll a-bowl a ball a penny a pitch!

Instumental

I've got a lo-ve-ly bunch of coconuts (They're lovely!)

There they are a standing in a row.
(One, two, three, four)
Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head
(And bigger)
Give 'em a twist, a flick of the wrist, thats what the showman said.

Now that hoi've got a lo-ve-ly bunch of coconuts.
(La-da-de-da-da)
Hevery ball you throw will make me rich.
(Have a banana)
There stands me wife, the idol of me life,
Singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!

All together now!

Singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!
(Harmony!)
Singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!
Roll a-bowl a ball, roll a-bowl a ball, singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch.

Instumental

Singin' roll a-bowl a ball, a penny a pitch!

--- End quote ---

I'm assuming the band and back-up singers would be in the corner. Or maybe for better effect, have it in surround sound.

Blayze:
"Final... FUUUSIOOON!"

shinytoydragon:
oh are we doing song lyrics now?

I can't think of the lyrics right now, or I would write them, but singing Maxwell's Silver Hammer or Drive My Car would be hilarious.

AngelofShadows:
"Alright, let's wrap this up people, we have another shoot in 45 minutes"

Kairuka:
Girls:
During sex: "Oh, hi dad!  When did you get home?"
After sex: "Nope, don't use contraceptives, those are against my religion, and why would I anyway?  You can't get pregnant if you're not married, my church leader said so." *smug smile*

Guys:
During sex: "Oh god, you are so much better at this than your brother!" (spoken to a woman...)
After sex: "Oh shit, I knew that felt too good...damn discount condoms!"

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