Fun Stuff > CHATTER
Best/Worst things to say during sex?
pen:
Unrelated to the thread itself, but to the comment above....
We like to fuck with telemarketers at home, and one time, one called and it was a carpet cleaning company. My daughter's uncle answered the phone. The conversation went something like...
Uncle: "Do you have employees that clean large carpets?"
Marketer: "Yes sir, they are well qualified to do large carpets"
U: "Do you have employees that will clean a small carpet?"
M: "Of course, sir, we do all sizes!"
U: "Sorry for the questions, but just one more; do you have employees that will clean a medium carpet?"
M: "Yes, sir, as I said, we can most certainly accommodate you"
U: "OK great! Oh, one more thing. Do you have any employees that lick carpet?"
-click-
It was great.
mummbly_joe:
I think the worst thing a guy could say to a chick would be: " I think I just peed inside you." I know I would be grossed out.
captain zoe:
Oh holy god! I just got seriously grossed out! That would definitely be a mood kill....
minus:
"I really need to take a shit right now.."
- Yeah, I know.. Toilet humour.. But it would definitely kill a mood for me.
I had an older chick I'd brought home once tell me she felt like a pedophile.. That killed things as well.. For a while.
"You'll get a better angle if I move my fat rolls to the side."
"Sorry, but I haven't eaten all day." Then you produce a big, dirty burger out and drip crumbs over her while still thrusting.
"Oh god, I'm sorry and drunk and I have no idea whether I just came or pee'd but, either way, I'm not wearing a condom.."
- Ew? (Edit: I didn't realise that this was said two posts up.. Being late sucks.)
Eiger:
"I can't believe it's not butter!"
"John! John! Did you get that on camera?!"
"Are you by any chance related to <insert name of sibling or parent/grandparent> because you really feel similar."
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