btw, that's not a joke up there, she seriously is deceased and cremated. it's a beautiful marble urn that i hug whenever i get a chance.
That really sucks. But man I would have a great one for you if that were not the case. Since it is, though, my apologies. Here is a pretty decent one on another topic.
So a boy in early-1900s New York goes to a confessional and talks to the priest, describing how he had slept with a less than reputable girl. The priest says, "Oh little Giovanni Leone, is that you?" to which the boy replies, "Yes, Father, it is."
The priest then asks the boy, "Well, then, son, who was this poor girl, so I may also pray for her forgiveness?" and the boy responds, "I cannot say, Father, for her protection."
Father Leone, however, being a man of great faith and perseverance, keeps asking. "Was it "Giusi Luciano?"
"I cannot say, Father."
"Was it Maria Ferrelli?"
"I cannot say, Father."
"I admire you, son, for being so tight-lipped, but I must know. Was it Julia Caravaggio?"
"I will not say, Father!"
So the priest gives up, telling the boy he cannot be an altar server for another 4 weeks.
As the boy walks out, his friend asks him, "So what did you get?"
He replies, "Four weeks' vacation and 3 good leads."