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Author Topic: plans for the inevitable undead uprising  (Read 141007 times)

MusicScribbles

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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #550 on: 09 Feb 2008, 11:35 »

It all depends on how prepared you already are. If the zombie outbreak can wait long enough for me to go through college and get my own apartment and a nice job, I will start to prepare for a trek to the North. Really, it isn't that hard to survive in cold weather as long as you have the proper equipment and survival skills. If you were to get far enough up North you could either wait out the winter (If that's when you arrive.) or if it isn't winter yet, build yourself a damn cabin. Once again, this isn't too hard, it's just time-consuming. I assume that a coniferous forest would not run out of pine any time soon, amirite?
A tundra would be a great place to go if you know a weather facility of some sort.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #551 on: 09 Feb 2008, 11:36 »

Melodic hits it right on the head. Yes, the arctic is very hostile towards zombies because they are dead humans. The cold will kill you before it freezes a zombie if you're not prepared and the level of preparation involved in surviving in the arctic for a prolonged period of time is simply not feasible.
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MusicScribbles

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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #552 on: 09 Feb 2008, 11:41 »

I disagree. It is completely feasible if you have enough manpower and preparation. It would just be extremely time-consuming an endeavor as well as monetarily-consuming. Of course, your chance of survival up there would be about the same as anywhere with the undead, because you would be fighting the weather instead of the outbreak.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #553 on: 09 Feb 2008, 11:47 »

What if you just stayed hidden inside your own home? Seriously, what are the chances of a zombie coming and trying to get in if they don't even know you are there?
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #554 on: 09 Feb 2008, 11:50 »

Even if zombies didn't inevitably come into your house (They would find out eventually.) you would not do yourself well in your own home. The worst thing about an outbreak is humanity. Humanity will kill you. They will loot your house, kill you, and rape you. Also, staying in your home, you will run out of provisions and starve, or have to leave eventually.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #555 on: 09 Feb 2008, 11:57 »

I shall provide the first post-apocalyptic take-away service.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #556 on: 09 Feb 2008, 11:59 »

I think I will start a company for apocalypse insurance.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #557 on: 09 Feb 2008, 12:06 »

Even if zombies didn't inevitably come into your house (They would find out eventually.) you would not do yourself well in your own home. The worst thing about an outbreak is humanity. Humanity will kill you. They will loot your house, kill you, and rape you. Also, staying in your home, you will run out of provisions and starve, or have to leave eventually.

But I live in fairly remote countryside. I doubt anyone would bother travelling 4/5 miles to loot a random house. And wherever you are, you are going to run out of provisions. If it is your own home you have a great opportunity to prepare it with stocks.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #558 on: 09 Feb 2008, 12:16 »

You're right. It does depend on where you live. It sounds to me like you might live in a great place to hole up. Are you the only house for a few miles? Where exactly are you located in relation to the nearest heavily populated town? It all depends on your location. I assumed you lived in a populated area, as the majority of today's world lives close to other human beings.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #559 on: 09 Feb 2008, 13:27 »

There are about 10 houses for 1 and a half miles, but we know everyone and I am pretty damn sure they wouldn't try to rape me. the nearest heavily populated town? There is a small town 12 miles away, and a rather large one a bit more than 20 miles away. Other than that, just random villages scattered around with 2/3 mile gaps between them. Without cars it is pretty isolated (of course, its not like its greenland  :roll:).
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #560 on: 09 Feb 2008, 15:34 »

For all you fuckers talking about how bad it would be to go to the Arctic, didn't any of you shitdicks read Julie of the Wolves?
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #561 on: 09 Feb 2008, 18:59 »

Congratulations Obsessions, I think you're the first person to agree with me on these boards, period.

Also, the amount of food one person can transport with them, short of having a cargo plane license, isn't sufficient for any amount of time: your location for survival would be absolutely linked to the food sources nearby. Living in the Arctic? Nope. Living on an oil platform? Not really. If I had the choice, I'd live in a heavily-fortified canned tuna factory.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #562 on: 09 Feb 2008, 21:02 »

Which is still easily accessible as long as your favorite local airline still makes routine trips to the Arctic during a zombie outbreak. Right?

It takes basic reading skill and a few hours of the flight tutorials on Microsoft Flight Simulator to figure out how to do start up an airplane (even a multi-engine turboprop or jet, which is important info for later).

The reading skill comes in handy when you go to fuel the airplane. You look at the tank filling points and you see where it says "JET A ONLY" or "JET B ONLY" or whatever, and you find the appropriate nozzle and make with the pumping. If you fuck up the fuel types, you won't even get off the damn runway, because the engines will just straight up shut down (it has happened in the news within the last few months, that's the only reason I know that part).

Then comes the fun part. You take your newfound Flight Simulator skills (my good friend is an FAA licensed instructor and says that it really is one of the best tools for learning how to fly and practicing the requirements for getting certain ratings) and you commandeer the airplane you've just fuelled up. If you're not a jackass, you'll have gone to an air base where they have a few ski-equipped C-130s (rather useful, you can take the skis off and use them for dragging shit to/from the aircraft to set up/break down camp).

You take all your supplies and stick them in the cargo hold. There's tiedown equipment just plain laying around in those things, so that part isn't going to be a problem. Then you close up the hydraulic ramp (that part is going to be YOUR problem, sorry, they don't have a program for that on Flight Simulator), do your startup checklist and your run-up checklist, and away you go. All U.S. Air Force C-130s have nav gear out the ass so finding someplace remote isn't going to be any trouble.

Then you fly out to wherever you really want to go. There's plenty of air bases in the U.S. that are all well within C-130 range of each other, and them 130s are really economic and reliable airplanes considering the job they do, where they do it, and how much shit you can haul in them (do your research on that, though, nobody wants to overload and crash and die).

This works pretty well for the nomadic thing, and it's not so bad for a zombie-proof shell. If all else fails, you can even just turn the engines on, give it full one-side brake, engine and rudder, set the other engines to reverse power (C-130s can do that shit, you know) and spin around until you've crushed them all. The propellors are high enough to not be a head-chop hazard, which is always nice, considering that you don't want to fuck that thing up, they're a bitch to replace even if you've got supply lines running smoothly and a full team of trained individuals.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #563 on: 09 Feb 2008, 22:17 »

The arctic is for suckers. I'm all about the northern taiga. That shit I can deal with, though I'd have to learn how to dry preserve meat.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #564 on: 09 Feb 2008, 22:24 »

It also depends on what you mean by "Arctic." If you're talking Barrow, Alaska, then yeah, that's ridiculous. You're not going to get there. But if you're talking about further south--Valdez, Juneau, Sitka--then it's completely feasible and frankly, a brilliant idea.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #565 on: 09 Feb 2008, 22:43 »

over the past two years and with the help of my wealthy uncle, I've been slowly constructing a zombie-proof compound in northern Canada. I won't say exactly where, because that would compromise it's security. Fully stocked with plenty of food (frozen and non-perishable), an artesian well, living quarters, mess hall, barracks, greenhouse, firing range, medical operating room, and it's all powered by those new Toshiba nuclear batteries that last for 40 years, backup windmills, solar and human dynamo for the greenhouse.

Inside my compound a small to medium group of survivors will exist for well up to twenty years or more
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #566 on: 09 Feb 2008, 23:07 »

I had assumed that "Arctic" means above the Arctic Circle, and the same idea with the Antarctic Circle.

Graham I will airlift you guys there if we can agree upon a rendezvous point.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #567 on: 10 Feb 2008, 05:23 »

What about them scientific bases at the north pole? If you could get there in a boat, and to the base, I assume you would be quite safe.
Until the point where the polar ice melts and you fall into the sea. Although, if zombies freeze, whatever water is in their cells will cause those cells to burst, right? And that means no brain, no muscles, just mush! So the north and south and very cold places should be safe after a year or so, barring incursions of zombies. I think Slick has got a fairly good idea with the taiga actually.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #569 on: 10 Feb 2008, 23:19 »

He still has a point. Amundsen-Scott was built on an Antarctic voodoo burial ground, after all.
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CardinalFang

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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #571 on: 11 Feb 2008, 05:46 »

All this discussion about plans and whatnot but are any of you keeping an Outbreak Journal?
Remember early warning is the keystone to any successful plan.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #572 on: 11 Feb 2008, 06:08 »

I'd say out in the desert would be your best bet.

As long as you've got a good source of artesian water, or if it's near a spring you'd be set.

It'd be fairly remote so there'd be less native zombies about, and that'd give you time to set up a defensible position.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #573 on: 11 Feb 2008, 11:34 »

Food is really a much more pressing concern for me than fighting zombies. I get light-headed if I skip a meal. If I were hungry enough I might welcome zombification, because then I'd get to eat something.

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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #574 on: 11 Feb 2008, 13:21 »

Also, if I end up surrounded, and low on ammunition, I'll just do the Thriller dance. 
Best.

Plan.

Ever.

I'm glad someone caught that.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #575 on: 11 Feb 2008, 17:14 »

Guys, I'm woefully uneducated on the subject of zombies.  I've been reading this thread, but I haven't been able to come up with my own plan, primarily due to my complete lack of knowledge re: zombie abilities, zombie desires, zombie weapon susceptiblity, etc.  I realize that if I continue lounging in my swimming pool of ignorance, I'm going to be completely unprepared in the event of a zombie attack (and I live in the 14th largest metropolis on earth--there would be a LOT of zombies here).  So I'd like your help.

What are the top three zombie movies I should see?  And book-wise, is there anything other than the Zombie Survival Guide that's been mentioned that I should read?
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a pack of wolves

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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #576 on: 11 Feb 2008, 17:33 »

Dawn Of The Dead is essential (the original, not the remake). I'm tempted to say Day Of The Dead and Night Of The Living Dead as well actually, start with the classics.
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MusicScribbles

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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #577 on: 11 Feb 2008, 17:36 »

You should read World War Z.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #578 on: 11 Feb 2008, 17:43 »

28 Days Later is the textbook "alternate scenario," in which the zombies are faster and more aggressive than we're giving them credit for. The current thread is based on the assumptions that we'll be dealing with a textbook ZSG outbreak, but passing familiarity with the 28 Days Later scenario can't hurt.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #579 on: 11 Feb 2008, 17:49 »

Shaun of the Dead
The Evil Dead movies
Star Trek: The Motion Picture
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #580 on: 11 Feb 2008, 18:42 »

You should read World War Z.

Seconded. I've only just started reading this, and I can already say it is an incredible resource.

Playing Dead Rising might be a good idea too. It seems as if that would give you a better understanding of combat against zombies.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #581 on: 11 Feb 2008, 20:36 »

It would only assuming that being bitten in itself won't infect and kill you. But we're all going on the assumption that it will, so don't treat the actual outbreak like the game. It is a good reference for what weapons are most effective, and I think accurate in its depictions of the fact that large, heavy weapons can certainly do damage, but are knocked out of your hands easily and won't fit in your inventory.
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MusicScribbles

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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #582 on: 13 Feb 2008, 13:00 »

Also, I don't think we should take into account that if you combine a pie with orange juice in a blender you will become untouchable. This is not worth testing.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #583 on: 13 Feb 2008, 14:06 »

I'm from the internet.



I'm here to deal with your zombies.

Goddamn that helmet looks ridiculous.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #584 on: 13 Feb 2008, 14:09 »

You need to lose the sweater and replace with a heavy leather jacket with the collar flipped up, allowing better protection from bites and neck protection. Otherwise you're on the right track
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Yeah, I mean, "I won't kill and eat you if you won't kill and eat me" is typically a ground rule for social groups.

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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #585 on: 14 Feb 2008, 09:10 »

Yeah, Ozy, can I just hire you instead of dealing with my zombies myself?

What do you charge?
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bbqrocks

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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #586 on: 14 Feb 2008, 10:55 »

I think the countryside is the perfect place for zombie evasion. I mean, hell, it doesn't even have to be particularly deserted...A small village (200-300 people) would be fairly easy to escape without getting bitten.

Also, lots of people who live in the country have generators.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #587 on: 14 Feb 2008, 14:31 »

The U.S. doesn't have a countryside, and I think I'd rather be eaten than spend the rest of my life in fucking Wyoming.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #588 on: 14 Feb 2008, 14:33 »

The U.S. doesn't have a countryside

take it back
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #589 on: 14 Feb 2008, 14:35 »

...Yeah, I've been to Wyoming. Wouldn't recommend it.


And I agree with Scandinavian War Machine. Seriously, we have a countryside. Even down here in south eastern Minnesota where everything has been converted to farmland there's still the Root River Valley, which is pretty nice.
« Last Edit: 14 Feb 2008, 14:39 by Whipstitch »
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #590 on: 14 Feb 2008, 14:41 »

That's not countryside. Countryside is scenic and rustic. Midwestern America is just large tracts of land that should be used for storing the Northeast's lumber.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #591 on: 14 Feb 2008, 14:51 »

you should come check out Washington and Idaho then.

scenic and rustic for sure. usually pretty rusty too.


edit: i just wanted to share this. i love my state.

« Last Edit: 14 Feb 2008, 14:55 by Scandanavian War Machine »
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #592 on: 14 Feb 2008, 14:57 »

I'd take Obsession a bit more seriously if I didn't routinely have deer wandering into my backyard from the nearby river valley wondering how the fuck they got into a city so quickly.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #593 on: 14 Feb 2008, 15:42 »

You should probably take Jon more seriously because of the anti-zombie weapon stockpile he's been working up.

Seriously we are all grabbing things that can destroy people's skulls, and as much as Jon likes to be a lazy fuck, he does not screw around with zombies.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #594 on: 14 Feb 2008, 15:47 »

The problem with being a lazy fuck is that you still will be a lazy fuck when the outbreak occurs, and you will be eaten, or turned, so it will all be for naught.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #595 on: 14 Feb 2008, 15:49 »

i think you'd find that even the laziest of people will be pretty motivated when their life is on the line.

your life is a little more valuable than, say, a book report. to most people, anyway.
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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #596 on: 14 Feb 2008, 16:07 »

The problem with being a lazy fuck is that you still will be a lazy fuck when the outbreak occurs, and you will be eaten, or turned, so it will all be for naught.

I'm not lazy, I'm conserving energy...
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Nodaisho

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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #597 on: 14 Feb 2008, 18:48 »

Damn straight, Obsessions.
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jhocking

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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #598 on: 14 Feb 2008, 21:37 »

The U.S. doesn't have a countryside
I don't know how far your area knowledge extends beyond Boston, but most of the US isn't anywhere near as densely populated as the Northeast. I mean, it's not just a little different, but like many orders of magnitude different. And I'm not implying you're stupid or anything; I certainly didn't grasp just how sparsely populated some parts of the country are until just recently when some relatives of my fiancee who live in Montana were telling her about how they can make an 8 hour drive up to some town in Canada and not pass any other people the entire time.

ADDITION: Oh wait now I see your clarification a few posts down:
That's not countryside. Countryside is scenic and rustic. Midwestern America is just large tracts of land that should be used for storing the Northeast's lumber.
Rather an odd distinction to make, especially considering how irrelevant this is to the point about areas that would be free of zombies. Regardless, the fact that the midwest doesn't fit your specific definition of "countryside" just means you need to think Pennsylvania (sure, Philly and Pittsburgh are on either end of the state, but nobody lives in between except for trees) or West Virginia.
« Last Edit: 14 Feb 2008, 21:47 by jhocking »
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Boro_Bandito

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Re: plans for the inevitable undead uprising
« Reply #599 on: 14 Feb 2008, 21:50 »

Jon, you seriously need to get out and see the world, or at least the rest of the US. While you have a chance, before the zombies destroy it all and turn it into a dystopic wasteland. I've been to 48 out of 50 states, obviously Hawaii and Alaska are the ones I lack, and if you don't call any of that scenic, your definition is different from most of the world.

Speaking of Alaska, what the hell do you call most of that if not scenic?
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Yeah, I mean, "I won't kill and eat you if you won't kill and eat me" is typically a ground rule for social groups.
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