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Schoolyard Stories
yelley:
agreed, jc. the fact that it was a religious school is only necessary because the story specifically refers to him refusing to pray. the teacher was a bitch because she just wasn't a good person, not because she was religious.
jhocking:
I only really remember two things from elementary school:
1) The time some kid hurled my glasses over the school wall because, while it was actually someone else who was picking on him and I simply laughed at the joke, I was a small kid and that other dude was big.
2) There was a kid nicknamed "Boner" because he claimed to have seen some girl naked. Come to think of it, Eris' post reminds me that this girl's name was Renee. huh, I wonder why I remember that.
I have more interesting memories from middle school, in large part because that stuff wasn't so long ago that I forgot.
onewheelwizzard:
I feel like I've told this story in here before but it's a really good one.
In 8th grade I had this science teacher, Mr. Oxley. Mr. Oxley was about 400 pounds of incredibly friendly and jolly bespectacled black man (300-400 anyway). One of the key experiments that he used to teach the class about chemistry consisted of the following:
Step 1: Fill two connected burets with water, and put balloons over the tops.
Step 2: Attach electrodes to each buret and run a current through the water between them the electrolysis that results will fill one balloon with hydrogen and the other balloon with half as much oxygen. Explain the basic chemical concepts behind what is going on.
Step 3: Remove the balloon with hydrogen, tie it off, and attach it to the end of a coathanger wire.
Step 4: Wave said balloon around the room at the end of the wire, making putt-putt noises and saying "Here comes the Hindenburg!"
Step 5: Apply flame to balloon, creating short-lived fireball and making class happy.
So this one time he had gotten all the way through the experiment and he went to apply the flame to the balloon, and instead of just immolating, the balloon came off the wire and flew around the room, spewing flame out of a small hole that the flame had melted in it. The nearly-round Mr. Oxley immediately DOVE out of the door, shouting "Fend for yourselves!"
Lines:
LOL. I loved my science teachers, because they were all funny like that.
6th grade - Mr. Flinn, who was the science teacher for the 6th graders and also my teacher (the other two taught history and math and we switched classrooms for this, weird to explain), had to do the sex ed. thing one day and he brought out a pad. He was amazed at how absorbent they were and poured a large beaker of water onto it to show us just ow cool it was. (More grotesque than cool to a 6th grader, really.) Well, he was abent the next day and had forgotten to throw the now bloated pad away, so it was still sitting there the next day. The sub walked in, started to set her bag down, saw the pad, and slowly backed away with the most disgusted look on her face. It was funny.
7th grade - 1st day of class, Mr. Kelley walked in, threw a trash can across the room, causing some girl to you yell, "HOLY SHIT!" He said, "Exactly!" and then went on about cause/effect.
8th grade - We all made rockets this year and when one guy stuffed 5 engines in his R2D2 rocket, my teacher tried to stop him until he said he wanted it to explode. Then she stepped back and said, "Proceed."
10th grade - My chem teacher, Mr. Brandt, did all sorts of things: tried to set one of my classmates shoe on fire as he calmly watched, threw chunks of sodium in a clogged sink to try to make it explode, went bowling for students with the physics teacher when students wouldn't leave the building after school, and once chased a student down the hall with a yard stick, because the kid wouldn't stop kicking the cat lying outside of the classroom. (Yes, we had a cat. He lived in the greenhouse that was attached to the classroom and occassionally went out into the hall. He also once went into the ceiling only to come crashing down in a spanish class a few doors down.) We also played hockey with dry ice in class one day. This teacher was retiring the year I had him and had just gotten off probation for chasing another teacher down the hall with a homemade blow torch, so he wanted to have all the fun he could while he was still there.
pen:
I don't remember what year I was in, I think the 5th grade. Our teacher got really sick, so we had a sub for a while. Instead of teaching us valuable lessons in math, grammar, and science, she taught us how to square dance. She was there for two months, I think, and I ended up do-see-do-ing every single day until our other teacher came back. The boys didn't like it very much, but the girls thought it was fun.
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