Topic: Terrible Movies Thread (Read 223516 times)

the_pied_piper · « **Reply #400 on:** 06 Dec 2008, 19:30 »

I know i'm gonna get a barracking for this but i thought Juno majorly sucked balls. The only redeeming factor was its soundtrack.

Michael Cera can't f***ing act. His face seems to be frozen in that same one gormless pose no matter what hes doing and everything else was so clichéd i wanted to gouge my eyes out with a spatula so i had some pain to distract me from the awful acting.

Dimmukane · « **Reply #401 on:** 06 Dec 2008, 19:40 »

I watched about 20 minutes of it and changed the channel...you're not alone. I couldn't stand the script, or most of the characters outside of Juno's dad.

ampersandwitch · « **Reply #402 on:** 06 Dec 2008, 19:48 »

Quote from: the_pied_piper on 06 Dec 2008, 19:30

The only redeeming factor was its soundtrack.

FULL TIME LOVER AND A PART TIME FRIE-HEND

the_pied_piper · « **Reply #403 on:** 06 Dec 2008, 19:52 »

If I was one of the artists who had contributed to that soundtrack and i watched the film i probably would've at least asked for all credits to be removed so there is no direct association.

At most i probably would've hunted down the studio execs and forced them to do it, torture or otherwise.

lprkn · « **Reply #404 on:** 06 Dec 2008, 21:16 »

As long as we're playing the 'what if' game, I would've gone back in time and changed my contract to a share of the profits.

eddie · « **Reply #405 on:** 07 Dec 2008, 05:47 »

A.I. is probably the worst movie I've ever seen and the only one where I've walked out of the cinema half way through.

I think The Graduate was really disapointing. Hardly anything happens through most of it and it makes no sense. One minute the Mr Robinson is telling the kid to go and have some flings and then later on he's demanding that the guy goes out with his daughter despite the fact he does nothing except hang around his parents pool all day.

Dimmukane · « **Reply #406 on:** 07 Dec 2008, 07:59 »

...

That was probably the last decent film Spielberg's made. But if you also didn't like The Graduate, I guess you wouldn't have realized that. No offense.

Thaes · « **Reply #407 on:** 07 Dec 2008, 08:23 »

A couple of weeks ago, I felt bother utterly annoyed and ashamed as I watched a movie called "Hell Ride" with my father. Annoyed because I wasted my time watching it, and ashamed since I was pretty much tricked into watching by the magic words "Quentin Tarantino" in the cover. It seems that just having Tarantino as the movie's executive producer does not automatically make it good! Who would've thought it!

Seriously, whereas movies with similar gimmick (modern take on B-movies), such as "Deathproof" or "Planet Terror", were delicious cakes with that gimmick as the chocolate covering , "Hell Ride" is a burnt, cruel imitation of a cake with covering made of some outdated brown thing that may or may not be chocolate.

Of course, there is one thing that may be counted as positive: if you like watching topless women, and don't want to watch actual porn for some reason, this is the film for you! Or, well, parts of the film are for you!

Dennisdread · « **Reply #408 on:** 12 Dec 2008, 09:37 »

Howard the Duck
Popeye
GI Jane
Bad Boys II

Useless piles of Hollywood crap all. Major and pure suckage. I actually felt pain in my chest during the first three of them. Ugh.

Siibillam-Law · « **Reply #409 on:** 12 Dec 2008, 13:58 »

Oh man, you guys..

GOING OVERBOARD

Is the best film ever made because once you realise you've sat down and seen all ninety minutes of it, you can sit through anything

thegreatbuddha · « **Reply #410 on:** 15 Dec 2008, 21:25 »

I'm watching Shakes the Clown right now, and its so bad I feel physically ill.

Aurjay · « **Reply #411 on:** 22 Dec 2008, 18:38 »

Howard the Duck?? It was suppose to be horrible...

What I can't understand is the lack of Arnold Schwarzenegger. I mean beyond Terminator 1 and possibly 2 he has been crap. Stunk up the 80s with pure garbage. Conan the Barbarian, Red Sonja, The Running Man, Twins all crap. Only thing saving Total Recall was the 3 titted prostitute.

Outside of him I have to seriously agree I HATED ALEXANDER!! So who's idea was it to take one of history's greatest generals of all time and make a movie about him eye fucking his chamber dude. Ya i get it he might of been gay but so was pretty much everybody back then. He conquered the World dammit let me see some fighting. I actually waited with some buddies till the bitter end thinking ok I know its been bad but hey maybe they will show some fighting soon...ya i felt robbed and brain raped.

Dimmukane · « **Reply #412 on:** 22 Dec 2008, 21:20 »

Quote from: Aurjay on 22 Dec 2008, 18:38

Conan the Barbarian, crap.

I will find a way to kill you over the internet and fuck your corpse with a dildo bike. I haven't figured out the details yet, but I can guarantee that it will happen eventually.

Alex C · « **Reply #413 on:** 22 Dec 2008, 21:28 »

Not only does he hate Conan the Barbarian, he seems to be thinking that T1 is better than T2.

Dimmukane · « **Reply #414 on:** 22 Dec 2008, 21:32 »

I haven't actually seen Terminator, so I ain't judging that statement. But the man dissed Conan, and that's probably the easiest way to get on my bad side. No reasoning, either, just an offhand comment.

Aurjay · « **Reply #415 on:** 22 Dec 2008, 21:51 »

wait...Conan was good? I went to a midnight showing of this recently and seriously if it wasn't for the copious amounts of alcohol being served I would have walked out. T-1 great T-2 raping the 80's early 90's seriously if i had to hear him say Hasta la vista baby or No problemo ever again I will shove your dildo bike into my own skull saving you the trip.

Dimmukane · « **Reply #416 on:** 22 Dec 2008, 21:55 »

Yeah, it was probably the only movie he's actually been any good in. Mostly because he doesn't speak unless it's necessary. And he doesn't have any retarded lines. I would even go so far as to say it was the best high fantasy movie of the 80's. Granted, there weren't a lot of good ones back then, but I would watch that over Return of the King or what have you any day.

Alex C · « **Reply #417 on:** 22 Dec 2008, 21:57 »

Conan the Barbarian as a movie is kind of a Platonic ideal of the lunkheaded swords and sorcery genre. It's not a great movie by any means, but if you like that sort of thing to begin with, it becomes hard to find ways to suggest improvements. Making the damned thing more sophisticated somehow is kind of missing the whole point.

As far as T2 goes, it was a good movie. It was a good role for Arnold because a certain amount of awkwardness in doing anything but moving around and looking huge has a certain logic to it within the context of the film.

Dimmukane · « **Reply #418 on:** 22 Dec 2008, 22:04 »

I'm not saying it's sophisticated. But I'll be damned if it wasn't fucking fantastic.

As a side note, it also has one of the best orchestral soundtracks ever.

Aurjay · « **Reply #419 on:** 22 Dec 2008, 22:06 »

Quote from: Dimmukane on 22 Dec 2008, 21:55

Yeah, it was probably the only movie he's actually been any good in. Mostly because he doesn't speak unless it's necessary. And he doesn't have any retarded lines. I would even go so far as to say it was the best high fantasy movie of the 80's. Granted, there weren't a lot of good ones back then, but I would watch that over Return of the King or what have you any day.

Not sure what you mean by "high fantasy" but here are some of my favorites from the 80's

Willow
Labyrinth (ya i know its horrible)
Dark Crystal
Clash of the Titans (someone mentioned this earlier as being a bad movie but fuck them they know nothing)

Aurjay · « **Reply #420 on:** 22 Dec 2008, 22:07 »

I will give t-2 credit for some of the coolest special effects ever in a movie even to this day...

Dazed · « **Reply #421 on:** 22 Dec 2008, 22:09 »

You forgot Legend.

Aurjay · « **Reply #422 on:** 22 Dec 2008, 22:11 »

i considered but just because of Tom Cruise's stink in that movie i had to leave it out. But yeah the Devil is the coolest villian of the 80's.

Alex C · « **Reply #423 on:** 22 Dec 2008, 22:13 »

Yeah, see, that's the thing. I don't really consider Arnold an actor. The guy is more like a living special effect. His best roles leverage his build and leave the rest by the wayside. I guess your mileage may vary, but I didn't think Arnold talked enough in T2 for his performance to really get in the way of the film for me.

And honestly, those 4 films aren't really any less ridiculous than Conan the Barbarian. I also was the one who listed Clash, by the way. I personally like the film, but it's not really defensible on any level and the fact that it was Laurence Olivier's last role is kind of sad.

Aurjay · « **Reply #424 on:** 22 Dec 2008, 22:22 »

I guess Clash cuz i was a big Greek Mythology nerd growing up. And man stop-motion monsters are just cooler imo. I guess im just hating on Arnold cuz your right in silliness Labyrinth is way up there.

Alex C · « **Reply #425 on:** 22 Dec 2008, 22:24 »

Yeah, I cut Arnold some slack since it's not like he was helping submarine big budget period pieces. You know, like Colin Farrel in Alexander.

Christ, what an awful film.

Dimmukane · « **Reply #426 on:** 22 Dec 2008, 22:32 »

Yeah, see, Conan is better than all of those.

Willow, while a decent flick for having so many midgets, is a bit...saccharine. Good, but it felt really contrived.
Labyrinth, while weird as fuck and has cool sets, has David Bowie in spandex kidnapping kids. Again, not bad, but a little sketchy.
Dark Crystal, while totally awesome on acid, is a little difficult to make sense out of sober. Really good, but leaves important story details out (where did those stilt-things come from?).
Clash of the Titans is Clash of the Titans. I think that's more of the kind of sword and sorcery flick that Alex is talking about.

Conan, on the other hand, every shot and frame is an ideal depiction of some aspect of high fantasy. Crucified on the Tree of Woe == our hero's greatest struggle is with himself and the birds. Inspecting the tomb == a discovery of some place so ancient and secret that to speak would be the worst sin. I'm not saying it was intentionally as good as it was, or sophisticated. I just see it as the best possible combination of fantasy...tropes, if you will. I don't even like fantasy all that much. Outside of the ones Aurjay mentioned (haven't seen Legend), a handful of modern ones (Lord of the Rings is kind of close to this idealized fantasy, but Jackson needs to stop using slo-mo so much, and the Elven was hard to swallow), and this one I don't recall but it involved a kid with a book who went to a fantasy land (not The Pagemaster, it wasn't animated) and there were fish with razors on their backs at some point, most of it is pretty bad.

I will posit that perhaps Aurjay is mistakenly thinking of Conan the Destroyer, because that was god-fucking-awful.

Four new posts: yeah, Alexander was pretty stinky.

Also, completely agree with Alex. Arnie is not an actor, he is kind of just a force of nature type of person (or he was back then). Which is what Conan was. He only says five lines to his love interest in the entire movie, when they first met while both were robbing the tower. Not when he was revived, and certainly not while they were having sex. He has maybe 100 lines in the entire movie. All of his costars were developing his character for him.

Edit: crap it's late. I'll get back to this tomorrow.

Aurjay · « **Reply #427 on:** 22 Dec 2008, 22:34 »

I think their should a whole thread to just how awful that movie was. What pissed me off the most was my high hopes for it. Angelina Jolie who is hit or miss but always hot and then Colin Farel who was good in "Phone Booth" and Val Kimer who usually is always good had me thinking it would be great. But Fuck man all 3 failed horribly. "In Bruges" got Colin off my shit list. Val is still on it. And Angelina was hot again in "Wanted" so I forgot why I was even mad at her.

Dazed · « **Reply #428 on:** 22 Dec 2008, 22:35 »

Alexander would have been the funniest movie of the year, were it not so goddamn boring.

Also, RE: 80s fantasy kid with book, The Neverending Story?

Aurjay · « **Reply #429 on:** 22 Dec 2008, 22:36 »

The Neverending Story is the one i think your talking about where the kid is reading a book and gets transported to a Fantasy world.

Dimmukane · « **Reply #430 on:** 22 Dec 2008, 22:41 »

No. This one had fish with razors on their backs. It ripped off of like, Willow and Neverending Story. Kid had an adult helper who looked vaguely liked Val Kilmer but it wasn't him. And the villain had the threats Wesley makes to Humperdink in Princess Bride more or less afflicted upon her, which they show.

gnarlyducks · « **Reply #431 on:** 30 Jan 2009, 00:29 »

My top 3 worst movies: Troll 2, Cool as Ice, and Robocop 3.

Why frank miller, why?

Jimor · « **Reply #432 on:** 30 Jan 2009, 03:52 »

Highlander: The Source

I'd say that it's worse than Highlander 2, but since that movie doesn't exist, let me put it this way: It's as if the director was trying to make an homage to Uwe Boll. And failed.

Rez · « **Reply #433 on:** 24 Feb 2009, 18:33 »

All the Cube films.

skinnyfat · « **Reply #434 on:** 25 Feb 2009, 21:29 »

Meet the Spartans. ugggghhh, there aren't enough mind wipes in the world to get rid of the dirty.

The fourth Indiana Jones. Freaking aliens? What the hell Lucas\Spielberg, what the hell.

knives · « **Reply #435 on:** 25 Feb 2009, 22:59 »

This thread has made me curious about Alexander. At least it has Dawson naked. Hopefully it's just three hours of people talking. I never really liked big war sort of action sequences, too muddled.

Dazed · « **Reply #436 on:** 26 Feb 2009, 04:31 »

Alexander: Bad enough that it would have been the funniest film of the year, were it not so godawfully boring.

knives · « **Reply #437 on:** 26 Feb 2009, 11:44 »

Just for comparisons sake what's everyone's feelings of Gerry? II found that really exciting and most people I know thought it was an overly long bore.

wowy319 · « **Reply #438 on:** 26 Feb 2009, 18:52 »

hoo boy, I can honestly say the worst movies I've seen recently consist of The Mummy 3 and In the Name of the King.

Mummy 3? What were they thinking? Were they trying to shoehorn every Asian culture into one movie? Football-playing yetis? the ritual that made Jet Li immortal? *HEADDESK* I actually walked out of the movie. My friend with garbage movie taste said it got better "ten minutes after I left." I saw it with my uncle a few months later. It did not. I have to kill Brendan Fraser now, and it's all that movie's fault.

As for "In the Name of the King..." it was directed by Uwe Boll. 'Nuff said.

Joseph · « **Reply #439 on:** 26 Feb 2009, 19:30 »

Quote from: Dennisdread on 12 Dec 2008, 09:37

Popeye

Useless piles of Hollywood crap all. Major and pure suckage. I actually felt pain in my chest during the first three of them. Ugh.

Popeye is incredibly far from being a typical Hollywood movie. If you feel that it is anything like a normal blockbuster film, you must have been watching a different movie than the one I saw. It's unlike any film I've ever seen, beautifully shot and incredibly funny. I enjoyed it immensely. Watch it again without the preconception that it'll be terrible. For some reason people have decided it's bad without watching it, and it makes no sense.

Quote from: eddie on 07 Dec 2008, 05:47

I think The Graduate was really disapointing. Hardly anything happens through most of it and it makes no sense. One minute the Mr Robinson is telling the kid to go and have some flings and then later on he's demanding that the guy goes out with his daughter despite the fact he does nothing except hang around his parents pool all day.

You just have shitty taste, and were obviously not following the movie very closely at all.

Faker · « **Reply #440 on:** 27 Feb 2009, 13:47 »

Quote from: Aurjay on 22 Dec 2008, 22:34

I think their should a whole thread to just how awful that movie was. What pissed me off the most was my high hopes for it. Angelina Jolie who is hit or miss but always hot and then Colin Farel who was good in "Phone Booth" and Val Kimer who usually is always good had me thinking it would be great. But Fuck man all 3 failed horribly. "In Bruges" got Colin off my shit list. Val is still on it. And Angelina was hot again in "Wanted" so I forgot why I was even mad at her.

Surely "Kiss,kiss,bang,bang" gets Kilmer off the shitty list?

TheViscount · « **Reply #441 on:** 27 Feb 2009, 21:35 »

Red Belt.

A Judo sensei is in debt 30,000 dollars, is trying to sue an organization for 200,000 for an idea that is over 100 years old, goes to some tournament hosted by the organization, kicks some guys ass, some old guy walks down and gives him a red belt. The end.

And

99/100 Japanese movies.

Dimmukane · « **Reply #442 on:** 27 Feb 2009, 21:57 »

Really? That many?

TheViscount · « **Reply #443 on:** 27 Feb 2009, 22:12 »

Quote from: Dimmukane on 27 Feb 2009, 21:57

Really? That many?

Yes, that many.
Not including porn.

Dimmukane · « **Reply #444 on:** 27 Feb 2009, 22:59 »

What about Takashi Miike movies? Kurosawa? Ozu?

Joseph · « **Reply #445 on:** 27 Feb 2009, 23:09 »

Quote from: TheViscount on 27 Feb 2009, 21:35

Red Belt.

A Judo sensei is in debt 30,000 dollars, is trying to sue an organization for 200,000 for an idea that is over 100 years old, goes to some tournament hosted by the organization, kicks some guys ass, some old guy walks down and gives him a red belt. The end.

Plot synopsis sounds promising. I kind of want to see it.

chenrose18 · « **Reply #446 on:** 11 Jun 2009, 07:37 »

The movie of Takashi Mike has implemented to the people because of the thread they brought,then it could be say that it was terrible.Thanks!

_________________
why

Harun · « **Reply #447 on:** 11 Jun 2009, 08:28 »

The Curse of El Charro

Siibillam-Law · « **Reply #448 on:** 11 Jun 2009, 09:01 »

Quote from: Dimmukane on 27 Feb 2009, 22:59

What about Takashi Miike movies? Kurosawa? Ozu?

That guy is the fucking man

Dimmukane · « **Reply #449 on:** 11 Jun 2009, 09:21 »

Quote from: chenrose18 on 11 Jun 2009, 07:37

The movie of Takashi Mike has implemented to the people because of the thread they brought,then it could be say that it was terrible.Thanks!

Uh...what the fuck? I'm guessing you don't speak English very well, because I am confused as hell as to what you're trying to say.

And Sibiliam, which one? That's three dudes who make good movies.

THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

Author Topic: Terrible Movies Thread (Read 223516 times)

gnarlyducks

Rez

skinnyfat

wowy319

TheViscount

TheViscount

chenrose18