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[Johnny C]

Alright, so I frankly don't have all the groundwork prepped for this one but I actually want to post again and stuff so I'm just going to get this out there. Basically, consider this post a "WATCH THIS SPACE" alert.

In celebration of a somewhat arbitrary counter rolling over to a number that I have already technically passed, I'm having an Official Johnny C Contest To Be Totally Awesome And Win Some Shit. There will be two stages.

• Stage 1 is the You Don't Know John! Trivia Contest. I am going to scour basically my entire life on this forum and come up with a bunch of stumpers for you cocksuckers to take a wild guess at. Start reading posts now because I want to have this up in about two weeks. A sample question is below:
  
  

  Johnny C predicted that three artists would be severely underrated in QC's Top 25 of 2006. Who were they?

  
  Most definitely become acquainted with the search function. You will need it to survive.

• Stage 2 is the Taskathalon. I will be devising about twenty different tasks for you to complete, each of which will be worth a different number of points. Here is a five-pointer to start you off, though I don't want to see any results until this stage is officially announced.
  
  

  The Johnny C Fanclub is expanding. Please design the official membership card. You may use any medium you wish. Five Points.

To tantalize you further, the contents of the fabulous prize package currently include:

• one (1) hand-painted These Estates t-shirt! I had to make one for a class and now I own it and it's tacky to wear your own band's shirt, so I don't. I'm getting this scanned for future printing but I am going to mail the original to the winner of this contest. It's actually just one of my old shirts and I am a husky gentleman so this may or may not fit you, but hopefully it'd still be something you'll like to have.
• one (1) custom mix CD! I will not make the CD until the contest is over, and it will be personally tailored to the victor.
• one (1) bag of Old Dutch Creamy Dill Rip-L Chips! God damn are these tasty.
• one (1) thank-you in the liner notes of These Estates' debut EP, I Can't Wait! It's my band, I can do whatever the hell I want. And yeah, the exclamation mark is part of the title.
• one (1) online purchase on your behalf, max. $25! Want to buy a t-shirt from Jeph? Want to donate $25 to Achewood? Want to get a sweet wallet from Poketo? Pick something and I'll buy it! Yeah!
• some maple syrup! I love this shit!
• something from the RCMP Depot store! My pop works at the RCMP, but here the RCMP division is also the home of the training academy. As a result there are some pretty sweet RCMP duds at the Depot store. I will buy you some.
  

There are some rules.

• No Googling answers for the trivia contest. I can't verify this but I have to trust you to not do it. Google knows everything and therefore it would become piss-easy to win if you can Google well. Since I am mailing something out to you and footing the entire bill I would really appreciate some honesty in this regard.
• No extensions, unless I extend it. This is entirely contingent on my schedule, unfortunately. The good news is that I have a fairly empty month ahead and I'll be able to fill it nicely with poring over entries.
• I am disqualifying the entire Class of '04, all moderators, and KharBevNor. Sorry guys, you can probably do the trivia bit in about ten minutes. However, I would really appreciate your help in pulling this whole thing off. PM me if you're interested.

Okay! Let that brew, motherfuckers!

[0bsessions]

Johnny,

Are you ever... honest with yourself?

I mean, about everything.

[tommydski]

Who the fuck are you?

[Boro_Bandito]

• some maple syrup! I love this shit!

God damnit you are so Canadian.

[SeanBateman]

I am okay with being disqualified, but only because I am being disqualified on virtue of being more awesome than almost everyone else on the forum.

[Johnny C]

Kiff, did I tell you I saw Rules Of Attraction the other night? Sean Bateman is so damn awesome.

Rock and roll.

[Joseph]

What self indulgence.

I'll still likely participate.

[Slick]

Man, an awesome shot is a mix of maple syrup and scotch whiskey. Don't use that artificial crap, though, it'll ruin it.

[Blue Kitty]

Jon Jon, I have to ask, how many mirrors do you have in your house?

[jhocking]

Johnny's race to 10000 is so last week. Now the world has a new focus: when will jhocking take the plunge?!

[imapiratearg]

• some maple syrup! I love this shit!

God damnit you are so Canadian.

For my whole life, I was under the impression that maple syrup was a Vermont thing, not Canadian.

[pilsner]

It's.  On.  The.  Flag.

[sean]

In his defense, Vermont is basically maple syrup land.

[imapiratearg]

Maple Syrup and granite, yeah.  We also probably have the highest hippie percentage per capita in the nation.

[pilsner]

There is no defense.  Here, I have created a Canadian flag for stupid people.

[karl gambolputty...]

For the longest time I thought Vermont was in Canada.


Fuck you I'm not from here.

[ampersandwitch]

Mister, however did you get so many posts?

[pilsner]

For the longest time I thought Vermont was in Canada.


Fuck you I'm not from here.

You're almost right.

[karl gambolputty...]

Mister, however did you get so many posts?

...one at a time?

[Tom]

• some maple syrup! I love this shit!

God damnit you are so Canadian.

For my whole life, I was under the impression that maple syrup was a Vermont thing, not Canadian.

I had a Maths teacher from Montreal who loved the stuff. Her love for the stuff was probably due to only being able to buy maple-flavoured syrup which tastes nothing like it. If you do manage to find a store selling maple syrup in australia be prepared to pay through the nose.

[Scandanavian War Machine]

• one (1) custom mix CD! I will not make the CD until the contest is over, and it will be personally tailored to the victim.

that's how i read that initially. i was confused.

[Lines]

Johnny, you did not clearly define if competitors had to do both stages. (Or maybe you did and I misunderstood. Either way, clarification would be nice.)

[blanktom]

I am convinced that this whole thing is just an evil evil scheme to over turn Tommys summer mix comp.

[tommydski]

I've finally made peace with the fact that you are all turning into little versions of me.

[Scandanavian War Machine]

who you calling little?

[ForteBass]

I'm pretty ok with being disqualified too.

Tommy, I will never be like you. Why? Because I still think US Maple sucks.

[Cartilage Head]

 You shouldn't use the internet so much.

[tommydski]

Don't worry, we're not running out. There isn't a finite amount that JC is eroding.

Your problem is you seem to think the internet is like a truck.

It's actually like your mother's asshole.

[ForteBass]

So the internet is vast, gaping, and has been fucked by every trucker in the tri-state area?

[imapiratearg]

D:

[KickThatBathProf]

wow, i never thought i'd see the day a yo momma joke was used in such a witty context

Amazing.

[Liz]

I might participate. I'm just not sure if I have the time.

[Lines]

Don't worry, we're not running out. There isn't a finite amount that JC is eroding.

Your problem is you seem to think the internet is like a truck.

It's actually like your mother's asshole.

So the internet is vast, gaping, and has been fucked by every trucker in the tri-state area?

Just had to tell you two this made me giggle out loud.

[Johnny C]

Johnny, you did not clearly define if competitors had to do both stages. (Or maybe you did and I misunderstood. Either way, clarification would be nice.)

Well, theoretically I guess you could just do one, but your chances of winning will be slim. Points will be accumulated across both, and I'm planning on balancing them out equally so that the winner will have to do both. Community and stuff.

[ForteBass]

Glad to be of service, Linds.

[jodizzle]

If you do manage to find a store selling maple syrup in australia be prepared to pay through the nose.

Are you serious?  $5 for a decent sized bottle of 100% Canadian maple syrup is not a bad price.  That is what we sell it for.  I know.  I order it!

Also, Johnny, you are so epic, I think I love you.

[David_Dovey]

Jesus I don't know if I can afford to spend that much time on the Internet.

But goddamnit I'm going to try

[Tom]

Are you serious?  $5 for a decent sized bottle of 100% Canadian maple syrup is not a bad price.  That is what we sell it for.  I know.  I order it!

No not really, I hardly ever am and alternate between the two without warning. Also, I'm a tight-arse.

[Lunchbox]

Oh yes oh yes I am not automatically disqualified I am in this so hard

[rawrXskittles]

You know, I think I might try.

And fail horribly.

[calenlass]

whut

[calenlass]

Senseless? Gee, I wouldn't delude myself into thinking I was that good...

[Lunchbox]

Tommydski, that would be cheating.

[tania]

and prostitution.

[Hunter]

The joke is that the moderator thinks it will be fun to have others know about him.

(or alternatively drunkly)


wht he fk wo gae him mony?

[tania]

johnny you are awesome and this sounds like a lot of fun but it also kind of sounds like a job. i mean in the time it would take me to do all this stuff, i could make more money just going to my actual job.

i'm sorry! i'll give you a hug in june to show my appreciation or something.

[Hat]

I'm definitely not going to help any girl who offers to blowjob me senseless.

Goddamnit tommy why you got to be so sexist

[calenlass]

Hatatat has been trying so hard to make you see that he just wants to suck your dick.

Show a little love, man.

[est]

I am disqualifying the entire Class of '04, all moderators, and KharBevNor.

Ok, let's see here:  Joined in '03, so that first point's fine.  Admin, not mod, so I guess I pass there.  I am pretty sure I am not Khar so I guess I'm in the clear on that point too.

Ok Johnny, I am totally down for this.