Fun Stuff > CHATTER
Body/Self Image
october1983:
--- Quote from: Boro_Bandito on 14 May 2008, 00:09 ---I can't see how anyone could ever find me attractive, since literally no one has ever looked at me in that way that I've noticed.
--- End quote ---
Seriously, I know it's hard to believe unless you have someone telling you they find you attractive outright, but as was mentioned earlier in the thread, there is always someone who finds even your least favourite features attractive, and there will have been girls (and probably guys!) who have looked at you in that way, even if they've never said anything. You are a suave-looking guy, and based on the second picture, you know how to play to your strengths, looks-wise - you dress pretty well, have great glasses for your facial structure, and awesome hair, plus you are a generally very handsome man.
Eris:
See, that is what has frustrated me so much. If people are interested in me, they should have just made it more obvious! People have no idea how much it can affect how someone looks at themselves. Sometimes it's the little things that make a difference.
october1983:
I agree, on principle, and especially when it applies to me - I would love for everyone who finds me attractive to compliment me for it, but I also feel slightly hypocritical because I know I very rarely do the same for people I find attractive. Hell, I'm rubbish at it. One of my best friends is, as far as I'm concerned, one of the prettiest people I've ever met, and yet I've never really told her so, in two years of friendship - if I'm that bad at communicating this stuff with friends, imagine what it's like with strangers!
On a somewhat related note, my flatmate has a tendency to be incredibly upfront about this kind of thing and good god it pays off. Perhaps I should take a leaf out of his book.
Sox:
I often think I look like a tramp, but I can't pick out what's causing it, because people don't say things like 'iron your shirt' or 'shave' to me as often as they really should. This causes conflict, as I want people to be critical about my appearance, I don't have any experience when it comes to dressing myself, so advice is always appreciated. I feel like I 'owe' the same to everybody else. Unfortunately, not everybody appreciates "get a haircut" as much as I do. Perhaps some lessons in how to be tactful are in order?
I know very little about how to dress myself, but I'm grateful for this rather shallow guy I met back in college taking me to one side and being totally honest with me about the way I dressed. He explained a little about my body shape and why the clothes I had were the total opposite of the clothes that I should have had. As I mentioned previously, I'm small. Forumers who've met me will vouch for that. at the time I was wearing baggy trousers that dragged along the floor, t-shirts that didn't fit, and this really old, distressed and faded brown corduroy jacket. I didn't take care of my hair at all and it adopted a straw-like appearance. I probably looked like a homeless man that had been hit with a shrink ray while my clothes stayed the same size. He explained that baggy jeans were terrible, that I was too skinny for tight jeans to look good, and that form fitting, slightly loose jeans would be flattering to my appearance. He explained that certain colours never go together, such as red and green, and that your clothes should all be about the same 'fit'. That you can't wear tight pants and a loose fitting t-shirt, or it would just look silly. He also explained that curtains looked silly and suggested a haircut.
I'm still remarkably poor. So, I don't have too many clothes. I have maybe one flattering outfit, and most of my clothes are the wrong colour. I don't know what the 'right' colours are. I'm still not great at dressing myself, but at least now I know how to get clothes that fit. This helped a great deal when it came to my self image regarding my physical appearance.
Obviously, it's wrong to say things to people like "you'd be prettier if you had a different nose". But when it comes to minor things that are easily fixed, such as how to better dress yourself, I think criticism regarding your physical appearance is just as important as the occasional compliment.
I'd like to suggest an experiment for people who aren't sure about the way they dress. Strip to your underwear and take a well lit photo of you posed like a dress up doll. Make cut outs of your clothes, find things from magazines and play dress-up with yourself. Try all kinds of styles and colours. It's a good way to get an idea of what looks good on you.
Sox:
I've used photoshop to see what I'd look like with different haircuts too. Is that also insane? I don't see how making a digital dress-up doll of me is really all that different.
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