It is not so much that he would be 'mad' or so, it is that the tickets is something I said I would do, but failed to, and the Xmas stuff is stuff I just am doing anyway. It's not so much an issue either that like, omg our friendship is ruined forever, I mean we're not high school kids, but I just feel like I dropped the ball or something.
Dunno. Pointless self-loating stuff maybe?
0bsessions (posted while I was typings) - the money I have for Xmas is the result of working 69 hour weeks for the past three weeks. It has been fucking awful. I missed my scheduled overtime shift on Sunday because I woke up and literally couldn't open my eyes. It was physically impossible. I've been living on a diet of coke and pro-plus for the better part of a month and I think now I'm starting to hit the comedown.
But hey at least I will be able to buy people kickass presents and keep the economy rolling, right?
On the same token I suppose I could try doing another week or two of stupidty to buy second-hand tickets. I'm going to London to see Coheed in December which is a week-long thing so that is plenty of time to lay on my friends couch asleep between gigs.
(Blatently ignoring other posts so I can write what I was wanting to write goddammit. Ohmigod essay.)
Emaline... you sound like you are almost in the same place I was when I was 20, except for I didn't even have a job. Maybe that made things easier for me, I'm not sure. I was trying to readjust to being on my own - or living with my mother - after 3 years of living with a girl I even proposed to and shit I don't even believe in marriage. I don't really know what to say in the way of advice that isn't "things get better with time" because damn I know how ridiculously un-comforting that is.
All I will say is that I think the idea of living life in greys and blacks sounds like maybe the worst thing. I know having white and black smashing against each other all the time is jarring as hell, but I always found it was the best way to go. For me right now, the 'white' is hanging out with a girl I love devotedly - though we are friends - and being out, getting drunk occasionally, dancing as much as I can and generally living life for the few hours of free time I get away from work. It makes the grind even harder, yes, but eventually it gets into a routine that is comfortable and you can ride it out a lot easier.
You said you had like no friends and that does make my example a little redundant... if you can afford to save up some then try to do that, so maybe you can have some time to switch jobs and pay your bills. If not then try, trytrytry to find a way to branch out while playing the crappy hand you've been dealt. All of that is so much easier said than done, but resigning yourself to mediocrity is probably worse than taking a bullet to your face.
So don't do either plz.
Edit:
or someone you've known your whole life and would take a bullet for, that seems like overstepping one's bounds to me.
Yes that is my best friend.