Topic: Twilight Series (Read 183466 times)

Alex C · « **Reply #300 on:** 29 Nov 2008, 18:08 »

Be careful, if you guys keep telling me I'm not a terrible writer, I just might write a shit-terrible vampire romance novel and dedicate it to you. Do you really want that on your heads?

Nodaisho · « **Reply #301 on:** 29 Nov 2008, 18:10 »

Quote from: Alex C on 29 Nov 2008, 17:52

I wouldn't be able to do it. I'd end up inadvertantly referencing a writer less recent than Neil Gaiman, immediately alienating 3/4s of my potential audience.

No, you can reference classical writers, as long as they are well-known. The best part is you can completely miss the point of the story and your audience won't realize it.

I write as a hobby (hobby is a good word to use, as amateur implies I expect to be able to go professional), and I actually do have an idea for teen lit if my first book doesn't sell, I am dedicated to making it higher quality than Twilight, though, so it might not sell either.

And Alex, I think it would be very easy to have that on my conscience if it meant that when you got popular for writing spoon-fed shit, you promoted the other books people on the QC forums wrote (especially mine).

Liz · « **Reply #302 on:** 29 Nov 2008, 18:26 »

Quote from: Alex C on 29 Nov 2008, 18:08

Be careful, if you guys keep telling me I'm not a terrible writer, I just might write a shit-terrible vampire romance novel and dedicate it to you. Do you really want that on your heads?

Yeah, why not? Do your worst!

Tom · « **Reply #303 on:** 29 Nov 2008, 19:38 »

Quote from: Alex C on 29 Nov 2008, 18:08

Be careful, if you guys keep telling me I'm not a terrible writer, I just might write a shit-terrible vampire romance novel and dedicate it to you. Do you really want that on your heads?

Nobody actually called you a good writer.

Alex C · « **Reply #304 on:** 29 Nov 2008, 19:43 »

You're missing the point, dear sir. As your quote clearly shows, I never claimed that anyone called me a good writer. I am just threatening to prove once and for all that my writing actually is terribad.

Tom · « **Reply #305 on:** 29 Nov 2008, 19:51 »

It was a preemptive offense against any potential self-delusion.

satsugaikaze · « **Reply #306 on:** 29 Nov 2008, 21:39 »

Quote from: ampersandwitch on 29 Nov 2008, 17:44

Even if you were a shitty writer (which you are not), it doesn't mean anything about your future because you could always write a completely two-dimensional novel about supernatural high school romance and have a huge cut of money at the end of the day.

I can imagine it: "Cryptic Metaphor - An epic of post-pubescent schooling and pre-pubescent romance"

sandysmilinstrange · « **Reply #307 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 10:22 »

Edward Cullen is going to smash my keyboard because he loves me too much to let me write negative things about his book.

ampersandwitch · « **Reply #308 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 14:33 »

I experienced something odd today. Someone I know used to go along with me on mocking the book, and when I came back from break this weekend, I found her reading it on the bed, the second book, to be specific. I lightly chided her for reading it, and she told me she was bored and to cut her some slack. I asked her who she borrowed it from, and she gave me a strange look. She then looked back at her book and mumbled that she had bought it, and when I laughed, she gave me another strange look. She told me that it was no different from when I had gone to see the movie. I disagree in this regard, because I think that the purchase of a book indicates some measure of wanting to own it, which I find baffling.

It turns out that she now likes the series

KvP · « **Reply #309 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 14:43 »

Romance novels are a common guilty pleasure!

ampersandwitch · « **Reply #310 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 15:03 »

Guilty pleasures are usually acknowledged as such, rather than bitterly (and defensively) defended.

Liz · « **Reply #311 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 15:18 »

Twilight is my guilty pleasure. I am not ashamed.

Chesire Cat · « **Reply #312 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 16:23 »

Yeah how many dudes read The Sword of Truth novels. That shit is pulp romance with swords and magic.

peach · « **Reply #313 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 16:34 »

yay for alex c :]

Eris · « **Reply #314 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 16:35 »

I was walking down the street yesterday and heard a conversation between a teenage boy and his father yelling out from a house like so:

"Dad, Twilight's out soon!"

"What?"

"Twilight's out soon, we should go see it!"

"What's it about?"

"Dunno, but it looks alright!"

Normally I chuckle to myself when I see/hear something funny, but I couldn't help but laugh uproariously as I walked to my car. People are stupid sometimes.

est · « **Reply #315 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 16:43 »

Quote from: Chesire Cat on 30 Nov 2008, 16:23

Yeah how many dudes read The Sword of Truth novels. That shit is pulp romance with swords and magic.

Truuuuuuuuuth. I read these for a while and then somewhere along the way realised they were shit. I guess I actually realised they were shit about halfway along my reading of them, but felt invested enough in the series to continue for a bit longer, especially if they kept having epic magical battles n' shit.

Alex C · « **Reply #316 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 17:09 »

Quote from: Chesire Cat on 30 Nov 2008, 16:23

Yeah how many dudes read The Sword of Truth novels. That shit is pulp romance with swords and magic.

I read most of that series because an idiot friend recommended them highly. Those books are amazing, but not in a good way. Terry Goodkind is batshit insane. No, wait, Let me rephrase that: Terry Goodkind is a fucking maniac. The first two books? Not so good, but there is worse shitty fantasy out there. It's cliched as all hell, but he paces things OK, some gratuitous S&M action happens and the bad guy eats children's testicles, so at least you can't really accuse Goodkind of pretension.* Unfortunately, that all changes. Well, no wait, it's still creepy and sadistic, but as the series goes on, it becomes clearer and clearer that Goodkind actually IS pretentious and also has a great big ol' stiffy for Ayn Rand. I mean, shit, the first book in the series is named after the "Wizard's First Rule," which states that people are stupid and only believe what they're afraid to believe or want to believe. The hero of the series, Richard Rahl, dissolves the series equivalent of the UN and takes over for everyone's own good. You know, because only brilliant dictators can save the world since most people are too stupid and sheeplike to know what's good for them. Another book involves the sad tale of an industrious man who is undermined by his shrewish wife and daughter who insist that he uses his wealth to help poor people (who promptly just take advantage of him, of course). Later in the series, good ol' Richard orders his men to slaughter a crowd of pacifists because they won't fight for him.

Here's an excerpt:
Men behind Richard hit the line of evil's guardians with unrestrained violence. People armed only with their hatred for moral clarity fell bloodied, terribly injured, and dead. The line of people collapsed before the merciless charge. Some of the people, screaming their contempt, used their fists to attack Richard's men. They were met with swift and deadly steel.

I guess you can say that I'm not a fan.

*God, I love damning things with faint praise. I am patting myself on the back SO hard right now.

Chesire Cat · « **Reply #317 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 17:44 »

Speaking of investment of time, somehow it was Robert Jordan who had the discourtesy to die before finishing The Wheel of Time (so I can validate those many hours reading and finally get some closure), yet Terry Goodkind gets a clean bill of health to keep penning dribble and now converting it into TV

Surgoshan · « **Reply #318 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 18:43 »

Yeah, Sword of Truth started out... okay. Not great, but decent. Then it turned into Fountainhead With Swords And Magic. Somewhere around book 4 I think.

peach · « **Reply #319 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 20:48 »

i've never even heard of those books. =x

Chesire Cat · « **Reply #320 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 21:19 »

They are Twilight for boys?

peach · « **Reply #321 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 21:22 »

oh? haha i'll look into them. i could use a book to read for spare time.

Joseph · « **Reply #322 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 21:35 »

Did you not read what was written about them?

est · « **Reply #323 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 21:49 »

Why would she go and do a thing like that?

Alex C · « **Reply #324 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 22:05 »

The most screwed up thing about the Sword Of Truth series is that the romantic elements are sitting right alongside all the insanity I mentioned earlier. It's particularly offputting when you consider the magical dominatrixes that are trained via systematic torture and degradation in their youth.

Did I mention Terry Goodkind is fucking crazy? Because he is. If that still isn't coming through, please, for the love of god, read what I posted again earlier before spending any money. I realize I was treading upon some serious "TLDR" territory in the last post, but seriously, the man doesn't write anything close to a sterile li'l world like Meyer does.

CamusCanDo · « **Reply #325 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 22:15 »

Man, he doesn't even write fantasy.

est · « **Reply #326 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 22:18 »

Yeah, he really is. The Mord-Sith are one example. The bullshit wedding ceremony thing is another. Richard and Kahlan(?)'s relationship is half glurgy and half just mindfuck, and there are really obvious sexual fetish undertones throughout a lot of the writing. It's pretty amusing how closely he and Jordan's work mirror each other in that regard, although Jordan took a more wholesome approach to the same fem-dom kind of content.

Alex C · « **Reply #327 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 22:22 »

I'm not really sure they can be called undertones anymore when there's leather clad lesbians running around playfully teasing the protagonist by the 3rd or 4th book.

Actually, I should probably pull back from that statement a li'l bit and point out that at least with the lesbian mord-sith he never really goes into any sort of graphic detail. That said, it did seem sort of inexplicable and in light of how much women are objectified in the series in general, I couldn't help but suspect that he wasn't going anywhere with it that wasn't opportunistic. It turned out that he really just intended to cash in by making the situation into a tearjerker, but that hardly is enough to make me respect him any more as a writer.

BTW, can you guys tell I really get into reading and then deconstructing shitty books yet?

Nodaisho · « **Reply #328 on:** 01 Dec 2008, 00:40 »

Quote from: Alex C on 30 Nov 2008, 22:22

BTW, can you guys tell I really get into reading and then deconstructing shitty books yet?

Sounds like you could get internet famous easily.

I had thought about looking into the Sword of Truth books, after Sohmer of LICD mentioned them, albeit in reference to series that he felt compelled to continue reading even when he didn't like the new stuff, I figured I would just read the older ones. Then I read the examples it has on TVtropes, and I am not touching those with an 11-foot pole.

0bsessions · « **Reply #329 on:** 01 Dec 2008, 07:08 »

My guilty pleasure is reading comic books and WoW strategy guides on the toilet while listening to the Lost soundtrack.

I imagine that's at least slightly less embarrassing than if Twilight were my guilty pleasure.

Yet, still, I read this thread.

Joseph · « **Reply #330 on:** 01 Dec 2008, 09:02 »

There's nothing wrong with reading comics books.

peach · « **Reply #331 on:** 01 Dec 2008, 10:31 »

Quote from: Dark Flame on 30 Nov 2008, 21:35

Did you not read what was written about them?

i did. if i'm going to talk about something i might as well know wtf is going on about it.

Ozymandias · « **Reply #332 on:** 01 Dec 2008, 10:35 »

What the hell is on the Lost soundtrack?

Does it just start with NEEEERRROOOOOWWWW, have some creepy piano music over and over, and then abruptly end with WHUMP?

Liz · « **Reply #333 on:** 01 Dec 2008, 10:39 »

Yes, it's all one track. But it lasts for about seven hours.

0bsessions · « **Reply #334 on:** 01 Dec 2008, 10:40 »

Actually, that's a pretty accurate summary. Except throw in frantic trumpets in between sappy creepy piano tracks and you've got it.

I have three seasons' worth of that on my iPod. It basically goes: WEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOAWWWWWWWWWWWWOAAASCREEEEEE *Run from monster track* *Something bad happens to Locke track* *Sad reflective track* *Run from monster track* *Someone died track* *Sad reflective track* *Hiking track* *Run from monster while something bad happens to Locke track* *Someone got killed by the monster track* *Locke is sad because someone got killed by the monster while hiking track* *WHUMP* *End credits*

And I would sooner admit to listening to this on my way into work this morning than admit to reading Twilight on my way into work this morning. Note, I actually DID listen to this on the ride in to work.

Faker · « **Reply #335 on:** 01 Dec 2008, 14:48 »

Was wondering if anyone has seen the film or read the book "Let the right one in", friend of mine has seen the film and spoke of it in such glowing terms that I can't wait to see it myself, despite not being a fan of vampire-romances.

Also from what I've read apparently its one of those rare occasions where the film betters the book. And of course, an English language version is in the pipeline.

KvP · « **Reply #336 on:** 01 Dec 2008, 14:50 »

Somebody started a thread about it a few days back.

Faker · « **Reply #337 on:** 01 Dec 2008, 14:59 »

Yeah just spotted that and was about to come in here and edit my post but you beat me to it!

Damn... in my defense that thread didn't show up when I did a search for the film's title

Nodaisho · « **Reply #338 on:** 01 Dec 2008, 18:14 »

I think it is because nobody has mentioned the film's name, just linked to the site, which is the name with no spaces.

peach · « **Reply #339 on:** 01 Dec 2008, 19:59 »

& back to twilight......

Nodaisho · « **Reply #340 on:** 01 Dec 2008, 22:24 »

Why?

I was talking to a friend yesterday, noticed she was reading one of the books, and asked her how many times she had read it. She didn't know, but the conversation eventually came around to the whole watching her sleep bit, and she actually asked "What else was he going to do?" I suggested reading a book, and she said that it would take 20 every night (which I find absolutely ridiculous, even as marty-stus go), I guess I should have suggested whatever he did before meeting her. I would have said sort his stamp collection, but she wouldn't have got the joke.

yelley · « **Reply #341 on:** 01 Dec 2008, 23:06 »

tell your friend to look up growing up cullen. what else was he going to do? scrapbook. knit. clean grout with a toothbrush. lots of things.

hey guys. i'm a bit late to this thread, but prepare to think less of me.

i have read the 4 books 4 or 5 times in the last 3 weeks. i have also seen the movie 3 times. i am unconditionally and irrevocably addicted to twilight. (i also just made myself vomit a little bit by saying that.) i make no excuses for my poor taste, i admit to my guilty pleasures.

i have to say though, these books are garbage and if i had a tween daughter i would be displeased if she was obsessed with them. i consider myself to be a reasonably intelligent woman, capable of separating fiction from nonfiction, and i am appalled by what the twilight saga advertises to people who may not be as reasonable as i am. bella and edward's relationship is not healthy. edward is not perfect and is not a good example to rate boys you know in real life against. vampires are not real and you will never be one. teenage pregnancy almost never ends with happy parents, a gorgeous baby and 7 babysitters. srsly people. fiction.

Nodaisho · « **Reply #342 on:** 01 Dec 2008, 23:25 »

Wasn't he sorting his stickers in that? Right after I clicked post last time, I decided that I should have said "Read Proust" instead.

sandysmilinstrange · « **Reply #343 on:** 02 Dec 2008, 06:45 »

Quote from: yelley on 01 Dec 2008, 23:06

teenage pregnancy almost never ends with happy parents, a gorgeous baby and 7 babysitters.

But sometimes it does include that creepy older guy who wants to do your kid.

0bsessions · « **Reply #344 on:** 02 Dec 2008, 07:21 »

You mean Tommy?

Surgoshan · « **Reply #345 on:** 02 Dec 2008, 17:01 »

I was mean today. I asked one of my students how she was enjoying Twilight. She said it was okay. Then she asked why I was asking. I mentioned that I'd heard it was absolutely horrible. Boy, did THAT get the girls in my class in an uproar!

One of them has only finished the first book and was desperately asking people not to say what happens in the second book.

I said, "Edward dies."

That's when they said I was mean.

Yeah. I'm mean. But it was hilarious.

ampersandwitch · « **Reply #346 on:** 02 Dec 2008, 18:24 »

Out of curiosity, what grade do you teach? Know this - the positivity of my outlook on the future may hang in the balance of your answer.

peach · « **Reply #347 on:** 02 Dec 2008, 18:40 »

I would have been one of the girls in your class yelling at you for being a horrible person!
Edward can't die, unless he is ripped up and burned, did you say Jacob did it? Haha.

Gemmwah · « **Reply #348 on:** 03 Dec 2008, 06:26 »

I bought Twilight the other day because I really wanted to know what all the fuss was about, and there was a 100-strong waiting list at the library to borrow it. I finished it this morning and now I can honestly say that it was the biggest load of pointlessly fluffy bollocks I have read since the Da Vinci Code.

I mean, it was heinously slow to start, and I found myself just ploughing through it because my friend Kelsey was insisting to me "it gets better, just stick with it". Well. I'm still waiting for it to get better. The small amounts of action in the book were over with before they really started, and then it switched back to mopey, avoidy Edward, and I was nowhere near invested enough in the characters to care about the pages that were wasted rambling about the same defining features of the vampires.

I'm gonna let my mum and sister read it if they want, then I'm gonna donate it to the library because I know for sure I won't want to read it again.

0bsessions · « **Reply #349 on:** 03 Dec 2008, 06:51 »

Donating it to the library only exacerbates the problem, Gemm. I'd recommend burning it, but that shows the book too much respect through the effort required. Shove the book in your attic and just forget you have it. That is the proper solution.

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Author Topic: Twilight Series (Read 183466 times)

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