Topic: To beat or not to beat (Read 29719 times)

Scandanavian War Machine · « **Reply #50 on:** 21 Oct 2008, 17:17 »

having not read the first page of this thread, i must say that i approve of what is going on here.

KvP · « **Reply #51 on:** 21 Oct 2008, 17:20 »

Man, why you gotta make me look at Bob Barr.

tragic_pizza · « **Reply #52 on:** 21 Oct 2008, 17:28 »

He looks like his prostate is being massaged as we speak.

imagist42 · « **Reply #53 on:** 21 Oct 2008, 20:42 »

This is a Great Thread.

I am the awful sort of person who has nothing to contribute to it.

Liz · « **Reply #54 on:** 21 Oct 2008, 20:47 »

My grief, I find, is not desolation or rebellion at universal law or deity. I find grief to be much simpler and sadder... All the things he loved tear at my heart because he is no longer here on earth to enjoy them. All the things he loved!

Ozymandias · « **Reply #55 on:** 21 Oct 2008, 21:47 »

These are the city gates, the gates of Rouen,
Through which our policy must make a breach:
Take heed, be wary how you place your words;
Talk like the vulgar sort of market men
That come to gather money for their corn.
If we have entrance, as I hope we shall,
And that we find the slothful watch but weak,
I'll by a sign give notice to our friends,
That Charles the Dauphin may encounter them.

Joseph · « **Reply #56 on:** 21 Oct 2008, 22:52 »

A troupe of Tuvan
Throat-singers stopping
To make steppes music, just
Because they fell like it.

Feedsite listeners milling
around, recording them,
Saving a few unique
Minutes for everybody.

Dissenting lovers
On the run from a
Chinese culture
Reservation, kissing
Their way to a new
Revolution.

Cop moves the whores along,
A squad of Russian security
Werewolves realize they're
Not getting any this
Afternoon after all.

This city never allowed
Itself to decay or degrade.
It's wildly, intensely
GROWING. It's a loud
Bright stinking MESS.

It takes STRENGTH
From its THOUSANDS
Of cultures. And the
Thousands MORE that
Grow ANEW each day.

It isn't perfect. It LIES
and CHEATS. It's no
UTOPIA and it ain't the
Mountain by a LONG
Shot -- but it's ALIVE.
I can't ARGUE with that.

David_Dovey · « **Reply #57 on:** 21 Oct 2008, 22:58 »

i know why dinosaurs went extinct it's because they learnt to suck their own cocks

Patrick · « **Reply #58 on:** 22 Oct 2008, 00:12 »

His dick is 8" wide and 2" long. It's like fucking a cheese wheel.

tragic_pizza · « **Reply #59 on:** 22 Oct 2008, 02:21 »

and man, he said, there ain't no communism like the Avon lady.

I didn't say anything. Just sat, sipping my Jack and coke, hoping someone else would catch his attention.

Think about it, he said, into his bottled Miller. Avon lady puts out all these booklets, and chicks, man, chicks just got to get the shit. I mean, how's that anything but communism?

I was going to answer him, explain how advertising and impulse purchasing affects the free market system, maybe even draw a chart on the bar napkin, but JoJo the bartender saved him from this fate worse than death by killing him with a single shotgun blast to the head.

I can't stand Miller, he said. It's made from the piss of lawn gnomes.

gardenhead_ · « **Reply #60 on:** 22 Oct 2008, 03:17 »

Everything is the same, the fog says 'We are fog and we fly by dissolving like ephemera,' and the leaves say 'We are leaves and we jiggle in the wind, that's all, we come and go, grow and fall' — Even the paper bags in my garbage pit say 'We are mantransformed paper bags made out of wood pulp, we are kinda proud of being paper bags as long as that will be possible, but we'll be mush again with our sisters the leaves come rainy season' — The tree stumps say 'We are tree stumps torn out of the ground by men, sometimes by the wind, we have big tendrils full of earth that drink out of the earth' — Men say 'We are men, we pull out tree stumps, we make paper bags, we think wise thoughts, we make lunch, we look around, we make a great effort to realise everything is the same.'
people should keep posting kerouac

tragic_pizza · « **Reply #61 on:** 22 Oct 2008, 03:44 »

Quote from: Patrick on 22 Oct 2008, 00:12

His dick is 8" wide and 2" long. It's like fucking a cheese wheel.

ps - we make our own Kerouak here, man.

Oli · « **Reply #62 on:** 22 Oct 2008, 05:51 »

But it's nowhere near as good.

tuna ketchup x · « **Reply #63 on:** 22 Oct 2008, 08:41 »

Quote from: KvP on 21 Oct 2008, 17:20

Man, why you gotta make me look at Bob Barr.

The guy in Jeans' avatar is Bob Barr? Dear god, he looks like a child molester.

KvP · « **Reply #64 on:** 22 Oct 2008, 11:53 »

Quote from: Oli on 22 Oct 2008, 05:51

But it's nowhere near as good.

Man, Kerouac.

His poetry does not excuse the wastes of space he creates on college campuses every year.

ForteBass · « **Reply #65 on:** 22 Oct 2008, 19:55 »

Quote from: jhocking on 20 Oct 2008, 15:48

Suck the next seven dicks you see.

Suck the next 8 1/2 price cocks you see

tragic_pizza · « **Reply #66 on:** 22 Oct 2008, 20:08 »

That should be part of Barr's platform: half price cocks for everyone!

Liz · « **Reply #67 on:** 22 Oct 2008, 21:12 »

I love half price cocks. They are the best kind.

tragic_pizza · « **Reply #68 on:** 22 Oct 2008, 21:15 »

Except when some asshole gets confused and goes off half-cocked. That sucks.

Liz · « **Reply #69 on:** 22 Oct 2008, 21:16 »

I wouldn't know.

tragic_pizza · « **Reply #70 on:** 22 Oct 2008, 21:21 »

Me either.

Patrick · « **Reply #71 on:** 22 Oct 2008, 21:45 »

IT'S THE AMERICAN HONKEY-TONK BARR ASSOCIATION

David_Dovey · « **Reply #72 on:** 23 Oct 2008, 00:33 »

I'm barring up, if you know what I mean.

David_Dovey · « **Reply #73 on:** 23 Oct 2008, 00:52 »

Tom · « **Reply #74 on:** 23 Oct 2008, 00:59 »

David Dovey, raising the Barr

Patrick · « **Reply #75 on:** 23 Oct 2008, 01:53 »

He's the Barrometer for determining others' success or failure.

tragic_pizza · « **Reply #76 on:** 23 Oct 2008, 03:02 »

I can't come up with anything, so I'm going to Barr myself from this part of the conversation...

see whut i did ther?

ForteBass · « **Reply #77 on:** 23 Oct 2008, 06:34 »

Some of these jokes deserve to have the lot of you put behind Barrs.

Katherine · « **Reply #78 on:** 23 Oct 2008, 06:36 »

Inlander · « **Reply #79 on:** 23 Oct 2008, 07:06 »

Now you're just getting lazy.

0bsessions · « **Reply #80 on:** 23 Oct 2008, 11:42 »

Barring something drastic, I think this thread has passed its zenith.

Alex C · « **Reply #81 on:** 23 Oct 2008, 11:51 »

Yeah, people should be just be plain barred from posting at this point.

Peet · « **Reply #82 on:** 23 Oct 2008, 11:53 »

Shakespeare walks into a pub and, moments later, is thrown out by the bouncer. As he walks away the bouncer shouts "You're bard!"

Patrick · « **Reply #83 on:** 23 Oct 2008, 15:29 »

New, from Mattel, Presidential Hopeful Barrbie!

These puns are weak, maybe they should use some Barrbells.

What do you call the mollusks on the bottom of an Independant Party candidate's yacht? Barrnacles.

I feel sick, I think I'm going to Barrf.

What do you call a fighting knife for idiots who have absolutely no shot of winning the presidency? A KA-BARR.

Have a nice day.

RedLion · « **Reply #84 on:** 25 Oct 2008, 12:35 »

HIS SWEATER.

santa.

Tom · « **Reply #85 on:** 25 Oct 2008, 13:05 »

He knows if you've been naughty.

inflatable_slide · « **Reply #86 on:** 25 Oct 2008, 14:49 »

Fuckin jesus, is this still goin?

i didnt need to resort to violence in the end, i wrote a letter and now all is well

SonofZ3 · « **Reply #87 on:** 25 Oct 2008, 14:53 »

Quote from: clockworkjames on 21 Oct 2008, 10:36

If he was your child I would say hell yeah, but as your friend and equal I say no.

Children sometimes need some sense beaten into them, and until they are old enough to fight back I see it as acceptable.

I got smacked or disciplined as a child and I think if I got hit more often I would be more respectful.

As a result I am not but children nowadays don't fear punishment as much as they should, I am not talking about putting them in hospital, just show them who is boss by making them physically uncomfortable.

Rule with an iron fist! but don't hit your equals, hug them.

=cowardice

tragic_pizza · « **Reply #88 on:** 25 Oct 2008, 21:42 »

Some threads are more awesome than the op.

edit to add: Good God, a letter?

That will end in pain.

Tom · « **Reply #89 on:** 26 Oct 2008, 00:25 »

Not at all John, you've merely fallen out of touch with today's youth.

tragic_pizza · « **Reply #90 on:** 26 Oct 2008, 16:40 »

*shakes cane*

Get out of my damn yard!

Seriously, though. A letter is almost, but barely not, as bad as sending an email. The best idea would have been to not be codependent, to just let it go and let the relationship be what it was.

I'll wager dinner at Dreamland BBQ in Birmingham, AL (not including travel expenses and lodging) if this does not end in pain, suffering, and anger.

Toba · « **Reply #91 on:** 26 Oct 2008, 17:22 »

I like pancakes.

tragic_pizza · « **Reply #92 on:** 26 Oct 2008, 19:07 »

There are no good pancakes in Birmingham.

Tom · « **Reply #93 on:** 26 Oct 2008, 19:12 »

Quote from: tragic_pizza on 26 Oct 2008, 19:07

There are no good pancakes in Barrmingham.

tragic_pizza · « **Reply #94 on:** 26 Oct 2008, 20:40 »

Marry me.

Inlander · « **Reply #95 on:** 27 Oct 2008, 18:04 »

We're all missing the most important point:

Was the letter written in Beat style??

Patrick · « **Reply #96 on:** 27 Oct 2008, 19:49 »

Bob

Bob Barr

Dear sir,

Why must you be such a drag?

I

hate

everything
and you don't make it any better.

No love for your lies,

PAIN

Ballard · « **Reply #97 on:** 27 Oct 2008, 21:36 »

God dammit Patrick, my sides.

Tom · « **Reply #98 on:** 27 Oct 2008, 22:47 »

Quote from: tragic_pizza on 26 Oct 2008, 20:40

Marry me.

Oh I dare say mah father shan't ever consent to our union.

tragic_pizza · « **Reply #99 on:** 30 Oct 2008, 01:01 »

Why, Ah assuah you mah intentions ah purely honahrahbul.

(How silly is it that a Southern white boy can't type in a Southern accent?)

THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

Author Topic: To beat or not to beat (Read 29719 times)

tuna ketchup x

inflatable_slide