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Weirdest Ending of A Relationship?

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apieceofmind:
once, a friend of mine was left a voicemail from his girlfriend saying she was at gay camp with a friend and that the relationship had to end.
not only was it a voicemail, but also while he was on the other side of the country.
also, she isn't actually a lesbian.

glyphic:
I should feel awful about this, but somehow I don't.

I once broke up with a girl by comparing her to a shower. I hadn't spoken to her for a while and she had surprised me in the middle of a night of drinking. From what I remember, I said "You know when you get in the shower and you're all 'oh man, this is great i love this shower' and then you stay in for a while and you start thinking 'jesus christ when will this end i have to get out of here?' Yeah. Our relationship is like that."

She was speechless.

Realistically, though, I took the high road. If I was going to start with "You're like a shower..."  I could have ended with "something hot and wet I get into once or twice a day!" RIMSHOT.

Orbert:
That might actually have been better.

glyphic:
Better? Or BEST?

Ballard:
I disagree. The way you did it was clever and something I can legitimately see happening in a relationship. The variant is just crude and stupid.

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