Topic: Let me tell you about this bug that is in my room. (Read 58274 times)

Gilead · « **on:** 30 Nov 2008, 06:17 »

It is huge, I am pretty sure the size of at least a small bus maybe and it won't stop making noise, not just like regular noise either, this thing has got some serious satanic droning going on. I'm pretty sure I heard it telling me to vote yes on prop 8 earlier too, I managed to quickly sketch my impression of the beast while hiding bravely behind a chair so that it does not see me. Please send aid or someone to recover my body if possible.

evernew · « **Reply #1 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 06:36 »

Because of the OP's postcount and this post's silliness
I was like

but then

öde · « **Reply #2 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 06:41 »

Have you noticed any portals to demonic realms in your room? Have you recently read any books in an ancient, unintelligible language? Has it fed on anything larger than the average cat or dog yet? Does it react if you scream angrily at it while wearing robes and a wizard hat?

Gilead · « **Reply #3 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 06:47 »

Quote from: öde on 30 Nov 2008, 06:41

Have you noticed any portals to demonic realms in your room? Have you recently read any books in an ancient, unintelligible language? Has it fed on anything larger than the average cat or dog yet? Does it react if you scream angrily at it while wearing robes and a wizard hat?

I have encountered no sign of my cat in three days, the nightmare realms of this bug's origin threaten to swallow me in their maddening corridoors as hour after hour I am pursued by the squamous beast, its nightmare limbs bending in eldritch shapes that our comparatively tiny consciousness cannot comprehend. I fear this is the end for me, the knowledge that man's place in the universe is nothing more than a worthless speck of dirt in the sandpit of hideous, cyclopean beasts beyond the reach or understanding of the rational mind has driven me to the ravings of a madman.

SonofZ3 · « **Reply #4 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 06:49 »

This thing is like 7 inches long:

StaedlerMars · « **Reply #5 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 06:54 »

whatthefuckisthatohmygoditsterrifying

Gilead · « **Reply #6 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 07:37 »

Hey guys it hasn't made any noise for a little while maybe I should peek over and check if it's still th-

SonofZ3 · « **Reply #7 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 07:58 »

Quote from: Gilead on 30 Nov 2008, 06:17

possibly vorpal

this rocks

Liz · « **Reply #8 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 08:03 »

This thread is making me

so much.

Ozymandias · « **Reply #9 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 08:08 »

Whoa. New guy. Out of nowhere. Winning the internet.

Must be a fake.

Liz · « **Reply #10 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 08:10 »

Jordan, don't be so cynical. It is not becoming of you.

michaelicious · « **Reply #11 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 08:11 »

You guys get a load of that proboscis?

Gilead · « **Reply #12 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 08:40 »

Oh thank god, I think I lost him.

Finally! A police officer! He'll save me!

negative creep · « **Reply #13 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 08:54 »

It's a trap! He's wearing the same shoes as the bug!Watch out!

jhocking · « **Reply #14 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 08:58 »

This sordid tale is reminding me about the giant cockroach/beetle-thing that scuttled into my room. It crawled up the shower drain to get in my apartment! Thing was massive, like as long as my finger.

It crawled onto my hand while I was laying in bed.

I think I killed it but I never found the body. It's like the ending of a Bond movie.

Is it really gone?

öde · « **Reply #15 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 09:00 »

It will come back when you're on your honeymoon, about to make love to your wife.

I mean when you're about to make love to her, the cockroach is not involved in the loving.

michaelicious · « **Reply #16 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 09:05 »

Not while you're there, at least.

Ozymandias · « **Reply #17 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 09:08 »

Quote from: öde on 30 Nov 2008, 09:00

It will come back when you're on your honeymoon, about to make love to your wife.

I mean when you're about to make love to her, the cockroach is not involved in the loving.

Oh hey, walking into a room to find a giant cockroach giving it to your fiancee, how about that for a mental image.

jhocking · « **Reply #18 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 09:12 »

rule 34

Dimmukane · « **Reply #19 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 09:22 »

I know what's supposed to be on that page but my browser didn't display it. Yay Opera!

De_El · « **Reply #20 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 09:24 »

Quote from: DVD box

She is a super idol of the MARS SPIRIT!!

sandysmilinstrange · « **Reply #21 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 10:19 »

Quote from: Gilead on 30 Nov 2008, 08:40

Don't mind me, gang. I'm just making the best thread this board has seen in a while!

StaedlerMars · « **Reply #22 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 11:26 »

Quote from: Jeans on 30 Nov 2008, 09:18

Joe what the fuck

Liz · « **Reply #23 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 12:56 »

Quote from: Jeans on 30 Nov 2008, 09:18

Joe what the fuck

KvP · « **Reply #24 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 13:04 »

Quote from: DVD box

She is a super idol of the MARS SPIRIT!!

KickThatBathProf · « **Reply #25 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 13:12 »

Sorry guys, I don't have a quote

Gemmwah · « **Reply #26 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 13:18 »

I just want to know what happened to the bug. I get uneasy when i don't know where they've gone.

Thomas Edison · « **Reply #27 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 13:20 »

Quote from: KickThatBathProf on 30 Nov 2008, 13:12

Sorry guys, I don't have a quote

eddie · « **Reply #28 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 13:22 »

Quote from: Gilead on 30 Nov 2008, 06:47

Quote from: öde on 30 Nov 2008, 06:41
Have you noticed any portals to demonic realms in your room? Have you recently read any books in an ancient, unintelligible language? Has it fed on anything larger than the average cat or dog yet? Does it react if you scream angrily at it while wearing robes and a wizard hat?
I have encountered no sign of my cat in three days, the nightmare realms of this bug's origin threaten to swallow me in their maddening corridoors as hour after hour I am pursued by the squamous beast, its nightmare limbs bending in eldritch shapes that our comparatively tiny consciousness cannot comprehend. I fear this is the end for me, the knowledge that man's place in the universe is nothing more than a worthless speck of dirt in the sandpit of hideous, cyclopean beasts beyond the reach or understanding of the rational mind has driven me to the ravings of a madman.

There's only thing to do, you have to eat it before it eats you!

KickThatBathProf · « **Reply #29 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 13:24 »

Quote from: Thomas Edison on 30 Nov 2008, 13:20

Quote from: KickThatBathProf on 30 Nov 2008, 13:12
Sorry guys, I don't have a quote

Clever

Thomas Edison · « **Reply #30 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 13:26 »

Well I am Thomas Edison.

Edith · « **Reply #31 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 13:44 »

I was about to tell y'all about the mouse in my apartment, but then Gilead came up in here and won the whole internet.

Way to go, Gilead.

KvP · « **Reply #32 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 14:21 »

Yes, up to a point this was boarding of the first order.

Gilead · « **Reply #33 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 16:05 »

Quote from: negative creep on 30 Nov 2008, 08:54

It's a trap! He's wearing the same shoes as the bug!Watch out!

I dunno, I mean, if you can't trust a cop, who can you trust?

Besides, look at that honest face of his.

Gilead · « **Reply #34 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 16:08 »

Aww butts.

est · « **Reply #35 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 16:10 »

Surely that is the bug wearing a suit of human skin a la Men in Black.

Runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Patrick · « **Reply #36 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 16:11 »

SON OF A FUCK HE IS GROWING A PROBOSCIS

öde · « **Reply #37 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 16:59 »

Patrick you know I can't get frightened when you use words like "proboscis".

Spluff · « **Reply #38 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 17:15 »

Oh, wow.

Wow.

öde · « **Reply #39 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 17:16 »

Are all cops dead behind the sunglasses?

ampersandwitch · « **Reply #40 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 17:17 »

Gilead · « **Reply #41 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 17:24 »

Quote from: ampersandwitch on 30 Nov 2008, 17:17

?

So what you're saying is I should stand up to it and maybe it'll go away and leave me alone?

Hmm, it worked in those bullying videos we watched in school, maybe it'll work now.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-

ampersandwitch · « **Reply #42 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 17:29 »

No, guy, I'm telling you to kill it.

Inlander · « **Reply #43 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 17:35 »

Use the fly-swat to bat its bug-bullets back at it!

ampersandwitch · « **Reply #44 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 17:40 »

Here's a bigger swatter. Oh, thanks, blurry pony with a party hat, for showing up in order to accurately illustrate its scale!

Johnny C · « **Reply #45 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 17:42 »

>ride pony

>use spatula as riding crop

Spluff · « **Reply #46 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 18:01 »

Use the swatter as some kind of lance or mounted weapon and charge that bug down from ponyback.

Gilead · « **Reply #47 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 18:18 »

Quote from: Inlander on 30 Nov 2008, 17:35

Use the fly-swat to bat its bug-bullets back at it!

-FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

Jace · « **Reply #48 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 18:22 »

Holy shit.
THIS IS AWESOME.

ampersandwitch · « **Reply #49 on:** 30 Nov 2008, 18:47 »

Looks like it needs a friend.

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Author Topic: Let me tell you about this bug that is in my room. (Read 58274 times)

Gilead

Gilead

Gilead

Gilead

Gilead

Gilead

Gilead

Gilead