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Please, Just Let Me Die Already

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Cartilage Head:
 So guys I have been seeing a new girl after getting over my (mostly on but briefly off) long relationship with a girl, which took about a month. The thing is, while I am aware of it and trying to fight it, I can't get over my near phobia of relationships. I've had about four bad ones in a row now, any advice?

0bsessions:
Stop having shitty relationships.

But yeah, honestly, that's not at all uncommon. Common sense dictates that, if you're not in a long term relationship that's going strong, you're probably off a decent string of shitty relationships, cause if the relationships worked out, you'd likely still be in them. The only real advice is to not think too much about it and just try to enjoy yourself. Some relationships work, others don't. If it works, it works, if it doesn't, you've got plenty of life left to try another one.

Lunchy's problem is effectively resolved by ViolentDove's response. Just let it end naturally when he leaves, make no promises or commitments and if you're both single later, you can maybe pick it up then if it still feels right.

tania:
there isn't much you can do in the way of fearing relationships, sadly. it's good advice to not force yourself to be in a relationship if you really don't think you're ready, but at the same time, avoiding intimacy with anyone until you're "over" your past relationships is, i think, equally bad advice because personally i doubt most people ever really get over their past terrible relationships. they're shitty and they suck and they hurt to think about and probably always will a little bit, but that's just part of life and experiencing things. that fear will decrease over time, but it usually doesn't fully go away and that's part of what makes entering a relationship and trusting someone really special in the first place.

okay so that wasn't really advice, i guess the advice part of this post is to not feel too bad about fearing relationships cos i think most people to do at least some small extent, it is part of intimacy, and also maybe probably be honest with her and talk to her about how you feel cos it's pretty understandable to feel that way and good communication is really one of the most important requirements of a not-shitty relationship anyway.

Emaline:
So, as you all know, I am madly in crush with my best friend. Since he comes into town in one week, I thought "I'll just go for it!" It seemed like a great idea and I was all excited and happy and I just really wanted this to work.

And then we were talking today like normal, and there was some flirting going on, and we kinda started talking about dating in general, and basically he was all "man I wish I could meet a really awesome girl." Needless to say, I was a little crushed.

But since I am totally dumb and can't take hints, I really want him to super reject me, so I can put it far out of my brain that it is something that will happen, because its dumb and it won't ever happen. So, would it be stupid for me to ask him to reject me to get this dumb idea out of my head?

MrBlu:
Maybe he just plain doesn't see you as someone he'd be in a relationship with. Not all guys want every female body.
You might just end up in the proverbial 'Friend Zone'.

(This feels weird talking to a female about the Friend Zone...)

And, y'know. Asking him to "reject you" would just make whatever conversation you were having awkward.

Your choice really. You can say that you like him, and hope for the best, because the worst that can happen is he says "No.", or you say nothing and wonder for the rest of your life, what could have been.

Who knows? Maybe he's just completely oblivious to the fact that you're female and you like him (sure has hell happened to me a lot of times).

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