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[Ptommydski]

Guys if there is a boy that I would like to makeout with but he is not into casual things what do I do?

Remember that it's okay to lie to men because they are not real people.

[Nodaisho]

Can everyone please stop using the word bone

Would you say you have a bone to pick with anyone that uses it?
        /
     

[Zingoleb]

Oh, T-Rex, you and your silly word games!

Ha! Ha!

[Aimless]

Was given sage advice today: "u have to kiss lots of frogettes b4 u meet ur princess"

Can everyone please stop using the word bone

Would you say you have a bone to pick with anyone that uses it?
        /
     

praise you

praise you

[Alex C]

After conferring with my girlfriend I am now quite sure that I could actually bone to bluegrass if only it didn't cockblock me.

[Nodaisho]

Hello again, Relationship thread. I need advice. I'm planning on asking someone out (no, for those who are keeping score, I still don't get the point of the whole dating/relationship thing, I'm hoping to figure it out as I go along), but I haven't gotten out much, so I don't know what there is to do around here. She probably does, as she socializes more often than I do. Would it be a terrible faux pas to ask her to go out with me, and if she said yes, then decide with her what we would be doing? The benefit, aside from having some idea what to do, would be that I would know that she would be interested in it, since she probably suggested it or something very similar. Of course, for all I know it could be considered completely graceless.

[onewheelwizzard]

This conversation is a totally normal and reasonable one to start:

"Hey, I was wondering if you'd like to go out sometime.  I'm not really sure what you're into, though, and I don't want for us to be bored, so I'm open to ideas ... what do you say we do something together [on specific day that you're free]?"

If she is at all interested in you she will probably get around to asking you what kind of stuff you like to do relatively quickly.  My advice is that it is not a terrible thing to admit that you don't get out much but that you'd like to more.

[Nodaisho]

Oh, she knows I don't get out much, I was more worried that it might be violating some sort of unwritten law.

[onewheelwizzard]

I think you're fine then.  You don't have full responsibility for deciding what the two of you will do.  Nobody's going to get upset or put off at you if you ask them if they want to help decide what to do.

[Reed]

But if she offers up a list of suggestions try to choose one on your own. A lot of women are turned off by indecisive men (at least in my experience).

[Bastardous Bassist]

SECONDED!  On all of it.

[phooey]

Hey guys! 

I'm pretty lonely and spend a lot of time reminiscing and contemplating the abyss,* but I've decided  that it's time to maybe get to know someone on an intimate level.   Aside from my 3 Wolf Moon shirt, I was just wondering how I could entice attractive people of all varieties into my sleeping sack, beddings, or couch as the case may be.  Do any of you  irascible Casanovas have any hot tips or tricks for me next time I go out prowling?  I have my own car, so all sorts of locales are open!  I was thinking I could start with the mall, the beach, my grandmother's pool, the dressing room in the local H&M, but I'm not invested in any particular location, just so long as it has the honeys.

Much Obliged,
Phooey

*I don't like when it gazes also.

[Bastardous Bassist]

I can't think of anything more effective than a 3 Wolf Moon shirt.  Just go to the mall, grab a table at the food court, and look at all of the girls.  If they make eye contact, then they like you, but they're testing you.  Once eye contact is initiated, you must not be the one to break.  They'll start coming over to your table soon.

[ackblom12]

Just remember that if they arch their back, they're fair game.

[Slick]

Unless they're also hissing, in which case the ached back is a sign they're about to pounce and remove your eyes from your face.

[phooey]

The help so far is appreciated, but I am not simply looking for a floozy to spend a night with.  I may have misled you with my original post, but I am in reality looking for a person who is willing to put out and is physically attractive who will never leave me.  I am looking for someone serious - life partner material.   Since I was young, my steady diet of Rom-Dramedies have made it obvious that there is someone out there for everyone.  As I see it, a very destitute  woman can marry a man with money; a man who likes fellatio can marry a short, slobbery woman; a woman with bad  skin can (and should!)l marry a man who has procured a lot of lotion; a man who likes condiments will find a dubious justice-of-the-peace to marry him to a facsimile woman crafted of relish and hommus.  Not only are these life partners wonderful, but they also are absolutely necessary for some reason.

How and who should I pick and pursue to be my modestly-successful-but-not-overchieving lifemate?

[evilbobthebob]

Well, no-one here can really tell you who, unless they believe they are that person.

[phooey]

In my experience, the boarders here have given sage advice even in matters where they cannot profess to have much  knowledge.  I was hoping there was some sort of Konami code to finding a loved one, but I'm afraid gamefaqs hasn't been very helpful either.  If you can help, I will take your advice, but failing that, I have a survey and obstacle course prepared, just in case.

[evilbobthebob]

At the risk of looking like an idiot, I assume you're joking about the cheat codes and obstacle course... 

I guess I definitely can't help you with the how, because I have enough trouble with that myself, but the who...well, in my experience (Disclaimer: I don't have much experience) you have to find someone who makes you happy, and at the same time you want them to be happy all the time. In the best case scenario, this person feels the same about you, and then you've probably found that life partner. To be really clichéd about love, you'll know it when you find it.

[Dimmukane]

If dating shows had obstacle courses I would totally do them.

[phooey]

Have you considered a move to Japan lately?

[Coward]

Hmm.

I had heard that doing the following is a surefire method of success, certainly if you intend on being in Japan:

- Set yourself a time limit of 100 days.
- Spend each of those days either studying at school, working out at the gym, or doing 'errands' to earn cash.
- After a period of time, approach a female student from your college likely to be impressed by your daily efforts.
- Ask her out on a date. If she agrees take her to any one of several locations including a woodland sauna, a strip club, or outer space.
- Repeat several times. Be prepared to part with several lavish gifts and answer the same questions over and over again.
- At day 100 true love should follow.   

Simples.

[Tyler]

I want a doctor to take your picture, so I can look at you from inside as well.
You've got me turning up and turning down, and turning in and turning 'round.

[JD]

This isn't really relationship advice, or a call for it, but the sex I had last night resulted in me having a 5-minute orgasm.  It was completely unbelievable.  I got my world seriously rocked.

Oh, yeah.  Mixtapes.  Um, I should do that more often.

Did you sound like this?

Actually, the mental image makes me giggle.

Edit: best pagebreak

[öde]

Just remember that if they arch their back, they're fair game.

Thanks for reminding me of this gem!

[Masterbainter]

one of the many gems this thread has to offer.

[jhocking]

I've never bothered to read this thread before and for some reason started reading the first page today.  I keep almost replying to six month old posts, I hate it when I do that.

EDIT: holy shit duchess posted on page 37

EDIT2: wait I'm looking at her last posts and she posted twice this summer.  Does that mean she's back?  does it???

[Sox]

Maybe she'd come back if we were funnier.
We're not funny anymore.
We joked before the finish and now our paint is cracked. We used to be such pretty little gnomes...

[bbq]

Guys, my girlfriend just broke up with me.

[bbq]

I know, I know.

It's just.. Urghh. First it's all like 'you're perfect, I'm all yours', then she breaks up with me because of my best friend, who is 'in love with me', as if that mattered for shit when it comes to anything at all.

I'm not too great at dealing with this stuff.

[onewheelwizzard]

Wait, that leaves a lot of questions open.  She believes that your best friend is in love with you, so she breaks up with you ... but is it because she wants you to be free to be with your best friend, or because she's afraid that if she doesn't break up with you that you'll break up with her to be with your best friend, or because she thinks your best friend will try to steal you from her and succeed, or ... what?  I don't get it.

[bbq]

Closer to the last one, but more like; she doesn't want my best friend to try and sabotage our relationship, and she can't stand it anymore.

[pen]

how long were you together?  was it long enough for her to know that your friend didn't have a shot?  how did you show her that you were all for her?  what was your reaction to your best friend when she tells you she wants to be with you? 

[bbq]

how long were you together? 

A few months.. Not too long, but we got really close. 

was it long enough for her to know that your friend didn't have a shot?  how did you show her that you were all for her?

Well, yeah, I told her that before we started the relationship. And.. I told her, a lot. And she told me the same thing.

what was your reaction to your best friend when she tells you she wants to be with you?

Can't remember, it was ages ago. That's been happening for a few years.

[nobo]

Do you keep this best friend around because she's into you and it provides you the occasional ego boost knowing that you have someone to fall back on? Or did your gf give you some sort of "me or her" ultimatum?

I'm not trying to be a dick here, I'm just curious. I've seen girls string a guy along forever knowing that he's completely head over heels for her, while she dates all sorts of other dudes.

[bbq]

Do you keep this best friend around because she's into you and it provides you the occasional ego boost knowing that you have someone to fall back on? Or did your gf give you some sort of "me or her" ultimatum?

I'm not trying to be a dick here, I'm just curious. I've seen girls string a guy along forever knowing that he's completely head over heels for her, while she dates all sorts of other dudes.

Actually, I'm a guy. No, it doesn't give me an ego boost at all, pretty much the opposite. I'd never date her or see her, because I have no feelings like that for her, I keep her around because when she isn't moping or making me feel guilty she is an awesome person, and I have a very strong platonic attachment to her. I've already told her, several times, that I have no feelings for her like that, and we've tried not-being-friends for her to get over me several times, but that never works. Oh, and I'm not dating all sorts of people, this is the first 'serious' partner I've had for quite a long time.

My gf just decided it was too much, after my friend was a dick about her to me.

[nobo]

Yeah, I figured you were a guy. I was just reminded of one of my buddies that is pining over a girl, and she cries on his shoulder whenever her relationships fail, and then goes after another guy shortly afterwards.

I don't think this girl is that great of a friend if her actions are sabotaging your relationships. I think you either have to cut her loose or give in. Don't really see a middle ground.

[bbq]

Well, she hasn't been actively sabotaging it, as such. Just some of the things she does and says seemed to have been placing a strain on my now-ex.  


EDIT: Also, it would be kinda difficult to cut her loose, seeing as though quite a lot of my friends who I hang out with regularly are also her friends who she hangs out with regularly, so we would still see each other a lot.

[onewheelwizzard]

So ... basically, your girlfriend was afraid that your platonic friend would cause the relationship to end, so she ... ended the relationship.

Seems kinda self-defeating to me.  If she's afraid of the relationship failing or ending, why is it that her reaction to that fear is to cause precisely what she's so afraid of?

[jhocking]

Sometimes you'd rather just have closure than worry about what's going to happen.  I have that feeling with job applications; if they're going to turn me down then I wish they'd just do it already, stretching out the worrying sucks.

[Sox]

Maybe that's just what she told him because she didn't think the relationship was going anywhere.

[bbq]

I'm pretty sure it's the truth.

Just elaborate on that a bit - the relationship had barely started, and it was definitely going somewhere, before all this latest shit happened.

[IronOxide]

Sounds like the lady you were dating is not stable enough to be in a relationship. I'd be willing to bet if it wasn't this friend, it would have been somebody else with her. Until this excuse for the breakup becomes a repeat thing, don't worry about it, she wasn't ready/didn't want to be in a relationship with you, don't obsess over the thing. People like to think that things are not their fault. The girl you were dating is no exception.

[bbq]

The relationship seemed stable enough and we were both very very happy with each other until a few days ago.. Oh well. :/ Guess I'll find some way to move on.

[calenlass]

Sometimes I wish I was less picky about people. I miss snuggles.

[Lise]

Me too, Katie, I'm starting to rethink my "ideal image of a guy" because I miss snuggles as well.

Boyfriend-for-now ain't too shabby, yeah?? Webcest doesn't count!

PS: bbq, you're in a really tough situation  , and neither you nor your ex-girlfriend can be blamed entirely for what happened. My suggestion to you would be to hang tight, and who knows, perhaps the two of you might get back in a relationship together. Or you might enjoy being single for awhile or find another gal who's totally into you (and isn't put off by any of your female friends). Good luck with everything!

[calenlass]

I was actually contemplating propositioning one of my friends and seeing if he could be trusted to stay emotionally uninvolved. But then I found out today that he is dating his codependent ex again and I decided that it was not a great idea anyway, but that at least I hadn't had to realise it the hard way. (Now I am just back to questioning his character judgment. How can he want to date that?)

[bbq]

PS: bbq, you're in a really tough situation   , and neither you nor your ex-girlfriend can be blamed entirely for what happened. My suggestion to you would be to hang tight, and who knows, perhaps the two of you might get back in a relationship together. Or you might enjoy being single for awhile or find another gal who's totally into you (and isn't put off by any of your female friends). Good luck with everything!

Cheers.  I think I'm gonna work on it for a while, see what happens. Thanks for the help guys.

[tania]

(Now I am just back to questioning his character judgment. How can he want to date that?)

probably has less to do with attraction and a lot more to do with mistaking pity and obligation for attraction, imo. i had a best friend years back who is an absolutely incredible person and was involved with a codependent girl who was kind of a train wreck for almost two years and every time i brought up the question "okay, so, uh, why are you still with her?" in response to him discussing relationship problems with me, the answer was always something along the lines of how he just felt bad for her and wanted to help her become more stable. then he finally realized that it wasn't his job to be her parent and ended it. for the duration of the relationship and a little while after i judged him pretty harshly as well cos i couldn't figure out how he could be attracted to women like that without being a complete chauvinist, except i've known him for years and he's obviously neither sexist nor a chauvinist (he was my best friend and put up with me all the time too, after all) so that accusation was pretty ridiculous. in the end it was really more a case of him trying much too hard to help, rather than hurt, someone he cared about and then having absolutely no idea where to draw the line. we still keep in touch and as far as i know he hasn't been involved with any other codependent women since then.

[nobo]

(Now I am just back to questioning his character judgment. How can he want to date that?)

you see what you said over here:

Sometimes I wish I was less picky about people. I miss snuggles.

he could very well be in the exact same situation. not looking for miss right, just looking for miss right now. can't question a guys judgement for doing that especially if you're considering lowering your standards as well.