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Author Topic: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated  (Read 90477 times)

Boro_Bandito

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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #500 on: 04 May 2009, 21:19 »

seriously. My first actual kiss was when I was 18.

19.

20!! I win (or lose, who knows?)

Anyways. Sexually frustrated thread! Liz got some makeouts, etc. on Saturday night/Sunday morning so that is pretty awesome. yay me!

I turn 21 in about 28 days and I still haven't had a first kiss.
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Ozymandias

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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #501 on: 04 May 2009, 21:42 »

I am glad everyone is good at making me feel better about my makeouts history, though.
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Zingoleb

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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #502 on: 04 May 2009, 21:51 »

I know. Last make out session I had was with this girl I didn't really like but was willing last summer, and I thought that was pretty sad, but these forums cheer me right up from that.

Though I still feel bad about kissing her. Mostly because I don't think she's mature enough to be with anyone.
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Will

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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #503 on: 04 May 2009, 21:53 »

Man, I haven't even had a good makeout session in 6 months...so much fail, so little time.
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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #504 on: 05 May 2009, 15:38 »

So, bf and I broke up. It's been about a weekend and a half since we've had sex. And now, today I hear about cute guy I have a crush on sleeping with two girls this past weekend. Lots of sex, and none for me. :(
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Ballard

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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #505 on: 05 May 2009, 18:42 »

It's been about a weekend and a half since we've had sex.

Sorry to put things in perspective but this is three days.

P.S. thread I guess I don't need you anymore as I've fallen into a regular fuck buddy sort of situation recently, though we can only see each other once a week for a little bit and it's not wholly satisfying but hey!
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Zingoleb

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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #506 on: 05 May 2009, 23:28 »

This thread depressed me again as I laid awake in bed (alone) this morning.

It went from "Hahaha, I'm not the only one without sex!" to "Oh, so, there's a bunch of people on the internet who aren't getting laid," which somehow made it all pathetic again.
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David_Dovey

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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #507 on: 06 May 2009, 05:13 »

Actually the main problem with being an utter man-whore is that sooner or later everyone catches on to your jape.
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calenlass

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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #508 on: 06 May 2009, 05:55 »

Oh come on, Tommy. There has got to be at least one village in all of Britain where some girl's father hasn't already got his shotgun ready for you.
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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #509 on: 06 May 2009, 07:04 »

It's okay. You could be famous in a country full of shit-hot women, many of whom think you are the most talented person on the show, and realize that the country is just a step less conservative than Saudi Arabia.

That, sir, is the definition of blue balls.
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Ballard

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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #510 on: 06 May 2009, 07:39 »

Your avatar is a surprisingly apt summary of my day today.  :|

The sky is blue, the sun is shining and your ferret has a massive erection?
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Slick

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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #511 on: 06 May 2009, 07:43 »

oh the redhead said you shred the kanun
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Slick

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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #512 on: 06 May 2009, 07:44 »

and I'm Baklava, baby?
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axerton

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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #513 on: 06 May 2009, 14:29 »

Dear people who were complaing about frustration due to lack of makeouts.
Until recently I was two and a half years without anything more than a kiss on the cheek from my best friend. How, do you ask, was that dry spell ended?
Well the girl in quesiton (Girl A) was high, oh and we were acting. This was followed shortly after by a particularly short session, which I'm still at least slightly convinced was pity enduced with girl B (the one I blogged about in meebo a lot) Then there was girl C, who was girl A's replacement in the play (girl A having been booted for being high) - ironically this was completely unnessesary due to anything worth mentioning in this context being cut from the play.  The only reason I am in a good enough mood to blog about this (allbeit in the wrong thread) is due girl D. 
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Dimmukane

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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #514 on: 06 May 2009, 15:25 »

what
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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #515 on: 06 May 2009, 17:45 »

Makeouts may or may not be ending soon but cuddles are still going strong with the one girl from the show, and I am currently in the process of being terribly flirty with one of the other girls from the show.

I really have turned into a piece of shit but the girls in question do not seem to mind, despite all of them knowing about my slutty ways with the others.
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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #516 on: 06 May 2009, 18:09 »

Patrick, you basically said that in the blog thread. Either blog in the blog thread and stay out of here, or come in here and write "OH GOD MY LIFE SUCKS AND I'M GETTING MAKEOUTS AND CUDDLES NYAH NYAH NYAH" and stay out of the blog thread.


We don't need more blogging going on around here, people, or so help me god I will turn this into a TMI thread; I can think of a few people who would be happy to talk about that stuff.
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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #517 on: 06 May 2009, 19:11 »

Hi Tommy, welcome to the thread.
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Lines

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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #518 on: 06 May 2009, 20:12 »

Tommy, how can you damn half Arabian girls and then page Slick? He isn't a half Arabian girl!

Or is he.


I just don't know anymore.
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Zingoleb

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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #519 on: 06 May 2009, 20:13 »

The girl I'm interested in is half-French, half-Japanese.

She's also 1,500 miles away

Le sigh.
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Slick

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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #520 on: 06 May 2009, 20:27 »

Tommy, how can you damn half Arabian girls and then page Slick? He isn't a half Arabian girl!
It is because he was quoting that Weezer song I was singing a while back.

Or is he.
Yes.
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Ballard

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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #521 on: 06 May 2009, 20:29 »

In a Chuck Palahniuk novel we'd all be fucking at this point.
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Zingoleb

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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #522 on: 06 May 2009, 20:32 »

Then let's fuck I'm not picky about little things like anatomy
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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #523 on: 06 May 2009, 20:34 »

I hope most of our lives don't suck as much as Chuck Palahniuk novels. I keep reading them thinking "maybe I'll like this one" and it has never happened and I end up hating myself more for continuing to waste my time.
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TheFuriousWombat

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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #524 on: 06 May 2009, 20:43 »

The girl I'm interested in is half-French, half-Japanese.

She's also 1,500 miles away

Le sigh.

I think you mean 'Re Sigh.'

(Ba-dum tsh)
« Last Edit: 06 May 2009, 20:54 by TheFuriousWombat »
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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #525 on: 06 May 2009, 20:46 »

Tommy I also vote you for most confusing poster, as I can never tell when you are kidding or serious. Though I think you're making fun of me on that one.
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What about orgasmic chemistry.

I can expand the definition of that if anyone wants to roll around to my Fortress of Love.

SilentJ

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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #526 on: 06 May 2009, 22:41 »

The girl I'm interested in, I broke up with six months ago, and am currently attempting to drink myself into a coma because I saw a picture of her kissing her new guy on facebook.

Do I win the thread yet?  Give me a few hours, I'll be drunk enough to be weepy about how awful I perceive life as now.
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StaedlerMars

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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #527 on: 07 May 2009, 00:04 »

Someone said that to me the other day so I guess you are not alone? Ninety-five percent of my posts exist just for the sake of humour but that was not one of them.

Chuck Palahniuk is a seriously shitty author. I don't understand why people like him. His books seem to be literature for people who prefer film scripts. Only shit.

Man, I disagree. They are film scripts though, you're right on that. But I definitely think they're good absurdist stories.
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Cartilage Head

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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #528 on: 07 May 2009, 00:29 »

 I kind of like Chuck P. but do find certain aspects of his work extremely bad.
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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #529 on: 07 May 2009, 00:51 »

I wish you all the joy of the worm.
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nobo

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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #530 on: 07 May 2009, 04:20 »

Chuck Palahniuk is a seriously shitty author. I don't understand why people like him.

I think its because of Fight Club. The movie was so good that people don't think he can do any wrong and keep getting his books. I read a few of them and have been routinely disappointed.
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SilentJ

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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #531 on: 07 May 2009, 06:36 »

The only writing of Palahniuk's that I've read is the first chapter of Scared, and now I never want to see his name on a book again.
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Ballard

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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #532 on: 07 May 2009, 09:07 »

My first encounter with Chuck was watching Fight Club. I tried reading the book afterward but it was mediocre and uninspired (and carried none of the energy of the movie- good job Art Linson!). Every once in a while I'll try again (read and then watched Choke, read Survivor) and have been routinely disappointed. I don't think he's shitty but he's certainly overrated.

All in all I'm neutral on the subject- I merely wanted to point out that we'd all be fucking.
« Last Edit: 07 May 2009, 13:20 by Ballard »
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StaedlerMars

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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #533 on: 07 May 2009, 13:18 »

I think his books aren't masterpieces, but rather crude aburdist stories.

I thoroughly enjoyed Survivor though.
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Scandanavian War Machine

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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #534 on: 07 May 2009, 13:54 »

guys, Chuck Palahniuk has gotten alot better at writing! admittedly, his first 6 or 7 books were basically grubby caracatures of each other and not super inspired but his newerish books are getting better. i highly recommend Rant. also, Snuff is good if you like being grossed the fuck out constantly.
Haunted was good too, and might even be his best; though it's hard to say.

here i was gonna say "let's see you write better" but then i remembered that Tommy is actually quite good at writing so i'm just gonna hang my head in shame and leave it at that.
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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #535 on: 07 May 2009, 13:59 »

The film was good, which is weird because even that book was rubbish.

I'm conflicted on Fight Club. Like the first act, dislike the second, bored by the third. But I really, really like the first act.
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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated BY CHUCK PALAHNIUK
« Reply #536 on: 07 May 2009, 15:00 »

^see title^

Now, honestly the first book of his I read was Rant, which I found to be a great little open-to-interpretation thrill ride. But that got me all excited, and after tracking a bunch of his older work down I've been... kinda disappointed? Plus my girlfriend obsesses over his stuff so I feel a little left out.
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TheFuriousWombat

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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #537 on: 07 May 2009, 15:01 »

here i was gonna say "let's see you write better" but then i remembered that Tommy is actually quite good at writing so i'm just gonna hang my head in shame and leave it at that.

Arguments of that type have never made any sense to me at all. Just because someone doesn't have a particular talent doesn't mean they don't have a general sense of aesthetics that allows them to astutely critique art in mediums that are beyond them ability wise.
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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #538 on: 07 May 2009, 15:35 »

well, i was kind of joking but yes, it is a very shitty argument; that's why i didn't actually use it.

(plus, Tommy would have actually done better and then i would have felt really stupid)
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Ballard

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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated BY CHUCK PALAHNIUK
« Reply #539 on: 07 May 2009, 15:56 »

great little open-to-interpretation thrill ride

Unless you suddenly find yourself writing for Kirkus Reviews, please don't ever use this to describe a book ever again.
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Patrick

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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #540 on: 07 May 2009, 16:04 »

Oh god spaqia is getting to me again because there is that one girl from the show who is just plain ridiculously attractive and oh my god, hugs with boob-smoosh do NOT HELP and neither does a kiss on each cheek.
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Dimmukane

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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #541 on: 07 May 2009, 16:06 »

The girl just got a tongue ring but she's trying very hard not to cheat on her boyfriend and I am trying not to push her to but this just made things so much harder
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Siibillam-Law

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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #542 on: 07 May 2009, 16:11 »

sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex
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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #543 on: 07 May 2009, 21:38 »

Gah Don't remind me of my source of frustration.
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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #544 on: 07 May 2009, 23:56 »

Guys my friend is totally gay for me

And I am considering reciprocating

I may not need this thread any more
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Siibillam-Law

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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #545 on: 08 May 2009, 01:24 »

See, that's the spirit!
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Zingoleb

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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #546 on: 08 May 2009, 13:55 »

The spirit was willing but the flesh was limp

Son of a bitch
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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #547 on: 08 May 2009, 14:12 »

I'm pretty sure erectile dysfunction is funny in any context. 


(heeheehee that guy couldn't get it up hee hee hee.)
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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #548 on: 08 May 2009, 15:05 »

Do you suffer from erectile problems?

Simple! All you need is this KIT!

It comes complete with one extend-a-rod(tm) and scotch tape. Simple! All you have to do is extend the Extend-a-rod (tm) to the desired length, and tape your problems away!
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Re: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated
« Reply #549 on: 08 May 2009, 16:51 »

that was fast...
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