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Author Topic: Pandemic panic  (Read 18838 times)

pwhodges

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Pandemic panic
« on: 02 May 2009, 00:43 »

Let's just start by getting this clear - we are all going to die of swine flue.  How do I know this?  I don't, so it must be obvious.

(1)  There are flue pandemics about twice a century; there hasn't been one for about forty years - so it must be due to happen now!

(2)  My employer has sent me three emails in the last two days telling me how the institution I work for is preparing for the pandemic, and what we should do for ourselves.  There is even a link on the homepage to their plans and advice page.  It seems we are in Amber 2 pandemic phase, so it must be true.

(3)  Apparently 0.0000002% of humanity has caught swine flue, and some have died.  Clearly our species is about to die out!

(4)  Panic sells papers.  QED.

Have fun.

(with apologies to anyone here who actually has it.)
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David_Dovey

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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #1 on: 02 May 2009, 00:46 »

Oh shit not Amber 2 oh God no I love you Mum I'm sorry about all that stuff I did
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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #2 on: 02 May 2009, 00:47 »

OH FUCK I SHOULD TOTALLY PANIC, BUT I'M NOT PANICKING...GUYS, WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME...DO I HAVE SWINE FLU?!?!?!
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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #3 on: 02 May 2009, 00:48 »

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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #4 on: 02 May 2009, 00:50 »

So apparently they've rechristened H1N1 as "Hamthrax" now

PANIX
« Last Edit: 02 May 2009, 00:53 by David_Dovey »
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Dollface

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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #5 on: 02 May 2009, 01:11 »

Wooo!

lets go looting!
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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #6 on: 02 May 2009, 01:17 »

Oh shit not Amber 2 oh God no I love you Mum I'm sorry about all that stuff I did
I'm not.

So, how is the swine flu different than the bird flu? The progenitors of the former don't fly (unless I get a date)?

So far, the people that have died have fit the normal flu's profile, the 1918 influenza hit people that were strong, rather than old, young, or sick. We've mostly been seeing babies and elderly dead, and while I never thought I would say something like this, that's good news.
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Melodic

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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #7 on: 02 May 2009, 01:26 »

I thought I had swine flu but it was actually tonsillitis.

Do pigs have tonsils?
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Radical AC

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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #8 on: 02 May 2009, 01:36 »

And they said I was crazy for buying that $10,000 level vi NBC suit.

Clearly swine flu has become like ebola, where on the off chance you get it, it causes you to hemorrhage from your pores and eyes and anus and doesn't act like the fucking flu.
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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #9 on: 02 May 2009, 01:36 »

The Swine Flu is obviously just God's way of cleaning out the dirty heretics of the world while leaving the good folk like myself and Sister Peaks.
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Dollface

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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #10 on: 02 May 2009, 01:38 »

The Swine Flu is obviously just God's way of cleaning out the dirty heretics homos of the world while leaving the good folk like myself and Sister Peaks.

fixed
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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #11 on: 02 May 2009, 02:05 »

On the news last night a BBC woman was interviewing a man who had caught swine flu (THE FIRST PERSON TO CATCH IT FROM ANOTHER PERSON IN THE UK OMIGOD) and she sat there looking extremely serious and exteremely stupid in her industrial face mask. I can't help thinking she'd have been better off either ringing him up or, you know, eating an orange or two and washing her hands afterwards?

Swine Flu: only to be cured by the bizarre method of sawing holes into chicken's eggs.
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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #12 on: 02 May 2009, 02:05 »

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StaedlerMars

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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #13 on: 02 May 2009, 02:48 »

now coming to a game console near you:

http://www.miniclip.com/games/stop-swine-flu/en/
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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #14 on: 02 May 2009, 02:48 »

I think it is considered more panic-worthy because even if you got a flu shot this was not covered by the shot so you can still get it? Even though you can still get any mutations of the viruses the vaccine is for?
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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #15 on: 02 May 2009, 03:48 »

The scary thing is that everyone who gets a cold is gonna be popping tamiflu and (IANABiologist) it'll end up getting resistant to it or whatever virii do.
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Spluff

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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #16 on: 02 May 2009, 04:08 »

I am sick of hearing about this. I wish the media would get some real news.
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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #17 on: 02 May 2009, 04:09 »

My understanding is that it's more contagious than regular flu. I think that what this means is that we're going to be fine. We live in nice well off countries that are pretty well prepared to handle the worst case scenario, which is half our respective populations coming down with it at the exact same time. This will never happen, unless Nodaisho happens to get that date.
This will stop being news worthy as soon people catch onto the fact that it is really only dangerous to developing nations, where it could wipe out a significant chunk of a large population in a much shorter time span.
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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #18 on: 02 May 2009, 04:19 »

It's no more contagious than most other strains of H1N1, and considerably less virulent (at the moment, anyway; it does have the potential to mutate into something much more virulent, but this is no different to any other strain of Influenza A). As far as I can tell, the media are only overreacting to this because there is an animal name attached to it (and even then, swine flu is something of a misnomer).
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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #19 on: 02 May 2009, 06:05 »

Interesting. This is a really good example of the media generating its own news. I look forward to the inevitable media analysis of the media reaction to this.
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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #20 on: 02 May 2009, 06:18 »

http://doihaveswineflu.org/

I was so hoping this was going to be like http://hasthelhcdestroyedtheearth.com where if you looked at the page source it was full of snarky goodness. Other than the keywords, I was left disappointed.

OH MY GOD, IS DISAPPOINTMENT A SYMPTOM OF...SWINE FLU?!?!?
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DonInKansas

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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #21 on: 02 May 2009, 06:41 »

I think it is considered more panic-worthy because even if you got a flu shot this was not covered by the shot so you can still get it? Even though you can still get any mutations of the viruses the vaccine is for?

Flu shots don't even prevent the regular old flu; it just weakens it when you get it supposedly.

Then again, the one year I did get a flu shot I was sicker than any year previously.  I now no longer get flu shots and am healthy again.
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valley_parade

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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #22 on: 02 May 2009, 06:49 »

I am sick of hearing about this. I wish the media would get some real news.
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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #23 on: 02 May 2009, 06:51 »

I was so hoping this was going to be like http://hasthelhcdestroyedtheearth.com where if you looked at the page source it was full of snarky goodness. Other than the keywords, I was left disappointed.

I wasn't, the "I know Derek" thing is a meme from some other forum I frequent.
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Radical AC

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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #24 on: 02 May 2009, 07:00 »

@^^^: Vaccines trigger an immune response so that your antibodies will respond to the disease fast and efficiently.  You often don't experience any symptoms if you have gotten a vaccine.  Which is the whole point of the vaccine.  The flu virus has 8 or so RNA strands, and a pig infected with four types of flu (two types of swine flu, human flu, and bird flu) acted as a vector and allowed these viruses to share RNA forming this new strain that was recombinant in H1N1.  We don't have the antibody response from our immune systems for this new strain of H1N1 making you more susceptible to infection, and resulting in a longer infection while your immune system recognizes and responds to the threat.  That is the ONLY difference between this new flu and any other flu.

Not getting sick by not getting the shot just anecdotal, and not indicative of you being any better off fighting the flu than if you had continued to get shots.  Some people get a milder form of the flu from the vaccine if they inherited little previous immunity or are immunosuppressed.  If you are in your teens to 40 something and healthy you are probably okay skipping the flu shot if you want, but it is better than the alternative.  And, for children, the elderly, or people with certain types of diseases it can be really important to keep up on your flu shot schedule.
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StaedlerMars

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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #25 on: 02 May 2009, 07:22 »

I'm a rookie swine fighter:

http://www.swinefighter.com/

Can anywone tell I'm meant to be studying?
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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #26 on: 02 May 2009, 07:28 »

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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #27 on: 02 May 2009, 07:56 »

Guys guys guys. Unless this starts turning people into zombies, there's nothing to worry about! Even then, I think just baout everyone on this forum will be prepared! I mean, we had a thread about it and everything!
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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #28 on: 02 May 2009, 08:21 »

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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #29 on: 02 May 2009, 08:42 »

We should all go to Madagascar. I hear that place is pretty safe from stuff like this.
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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #30 on: 02 May 2009, 08:53 »

i would go mexico because it is the last place that swine-flu would come looking for me.
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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #31 on: 02 May 2009, 09:09 »

...
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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #32 on: 02 May 2009, 09:21 »

I am pretty sure that 50% of the average rural Mexican's diet is accidental consumption on pig feces through incredibly contaminated water, Dollface.
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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #33 on: 02 May 2009, 09:22 »

I just read the words "WHO fundraising event" and haven't managed to stop laughing yet.
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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #34 on: 02 May 2009, 10:58 »

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Patrick

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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #35 on: 02 May 2009, 11:41 »

Guys guys guys. Unless this starts turning people into zombies, there's nothing to worry about! Even then, I think just baout everyone on this forum will be prepared! I mean, we had a thread about it and everything!

Several threads actually.

I was kindof hoping this one would devolve into the thousandth one :D
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Josefbugman

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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #36 on: 02 May 2009, 12:45 »

I find it kind of funny that people are comparing this flu to Spanish flu, the one that virtually wiped out most of Europe that was left after WW1?

Personally I can't help but think that almost an entire century later we have advanced enough to be able to cope with this, hells about 50 years ago we were still giving labotomies to children for being too "excuberent".
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Ozymandias

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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #37 on: 02 May 2009, 14:12 »

At this point I'm not sure who's more annoying, the people who care about swine flu or the people who don't.
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Josefbugman

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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #38 on: 02 May 2009, 14:34 »

well, see which side you are on first.
« Last Edit: 02 May 2009, 14:49 by Josefbugman »
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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #39 on: 02 May 2009, 15:16 »

Goddamn I wasted my lame swine flu joke in the blog thread.

It is kind of interesting in that it's one of those things where I've literally walk past groups of people on the street talking about it.

Also this is awesome: pimp my swine flu mask
« Last Edit: 02 May 2009, 15:36 by ViolentDove »
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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #40 on: 02 May 2009, 15:29 »

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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #41 on: 02 May 2009, 15:36 »

Oops, thanks.
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With cake ownership set to C and cake consumption set to K, then C + K = 0.  So indeed as one consumes a cake, one simultaneously deprives oneself of cake ownership. 

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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #42 on: 02 May 2009, 16:31 »

Several threads actually.

I was kindof hoping this one would devolve into the thousandth one :D

Can we make this thread about the zombie invasion now?

I mean, why beat around the bush?
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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #43 on: 02 May 2009, 16:36 »

I was discussing the chance of zombie invasion from swine flu with my biology lecturer earlier. We decided it would just end up with Mexican zombie pigs, which don't sound all that scary really.
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WriterofAllWrongs

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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #44 on: 02 May 2009, 16:42 »

Well if the average pig can go through two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute, imagine what that means for the average zombie pig.


Don't be too glib about this, man.
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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #45 on: 02 May 2009, 16:46 »

But I will be alright, because I live in a city. Living in a city = no pigs, unless you count the wind-up kind you get in toy shops  :-)

Now they would be scary zombified.
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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #46 on: 02 May 2009, 18:29 »

Also this is awesome: pimp my swine flu mask

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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #47 on: 02 May 2009, 18:59 »

Well if the average pig can go through two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute, imagine what that means for the average zombie pig.


Don't be too glib about this, man.
Pigs also have thick skulls. At least wild pigs do. Handguns won't do it for headshots, unless you use a magnum, +P+ 9mm, .357 sig, or 10mm auto.
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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #48 on: 02 May 2009, 19:03 »

Woo! Something else for the president to worry over!
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WriterofAllWrongs

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Re: Pandemic panic
« Reply #49 on: 02 May 2009, 19:48 »

Pigs also have thick skulls. At least wild pigs do. Handguns won't do it for headshots, unless you use a magnum, +P+ 9mm, .357 sig, or 10mm auto.

Which, according to Max Brooks' Zombie Survival Guide, means you have to turn to swords, which means you have to turn to katanas.  Or maybe you could just stay the hell inside when you hear reports of Zombie Pigs running free through your city.  Seriously, pigs cannot operate door handles.
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