Fun Stuff > CHATTER
are you feeling lonely?
Scandanavian War Machine:
do you have any uglier fake girlfriends?
Mai is far too pretty for me, no one would believe it for a second.
Ballard:
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you:
Luxuriously Average Ladies for Characterless, Underachieving Dudes! (and Coming Soon: Nappy Schlubs for Shallow Tubs)
Are you astonishingly mediocre? Worried about attracting too much attention to your depressingly inconsequential existence by rubbing elbows with the wealthy and beautiful? Afraid that your friends will see right through your newly purchased sex kitten? Do we have the package for you! For a meager $19.99 plus shipping & handling we will deliver to you a wonderfully unexciting, slightly overweight dropout from the community college of your choice! Our chicks and dudes are the finest townies money can buy. For an additional charge of $15/mo., your partner can guzzle the foulest of light beers and devour chicken wings like a pro. Call within the next 15 minutes and you can have the "Charmingly Unintimidating Conversationalist" package for FREE. That's right- absolutely free. That's a $35 value, absolutely free of charge. Everyone on campus will be talking about your disappointing-ass girlfriend in no time! Don't hesitate now, settle in style!
Scandanavian War Machine:
whoo goin' to tha sprint car races tonight, baby, fuck yeah!
hey, has anyone seen my Dale Earnhadt Jr. sleeveless half-shirt?! i can't get blacked out in public without it!
Josefbugman:
... wow Ballard. I was wondering can I get your permission to use that phrase on a series of posters?
Sort of want people to think a little bit, so I am quite tempted to put them up all around campus.
Ballard:
go for it broski
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