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Shoot Off Your Mouth

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Sox:
About two billion people in the world hold the belief that when we die, we have to account for every single word we have said, and that every single time we speak with nothing to say, it will be held against us come our days of judgement. In some cultures, talking without saying anything, or talking about yourself without taking the time to listen is considered disrespectful. Indeed, it's not an uncommon belief that excessive talking is a vice in much the same way that overindulgence in food is a vice.
Can we get fat off the sound of our own voices? I've tried to talk a lot this week to see what happened, I didn't gain any weight, but my jaw is really tired and my throat is very sore. So, I figure I'm not doing it right.
I am here for advice. I need to know how to shoot off my mouth. I would like to hear about how to talk somebody's ears off without actually saying anything useful.
From the rest of you, I'd like to hear what you think about people who talk for no reason at all.

BeoPuppy:
I am the last person you'd want to ask how exactly to talk. I have trouble with it. All those meaningless, empty phrases that get bandied about every day. It's boring, useless and polluting of my environment. Thus, people who talk to much annoy me to the core.

iamiam:
hey darryl. as someone who is prone to long, extended fits of rambling about absolutely nothing here is my advice to you:

1. develop a horrible amount of awkwardness that causes you to fill the void by talking.  as much as possible.  because oh god why won't all these words stop coming out of my mouth, i know no one gives a shit but i just can't stop and i don't know if i want to because once i stop the endless awkward silence begins

2.  become constantly disoriented and confused so that all your thoughts are jumbled in your mind and you are no longer capable of sorting through which ones should be spoken aloud and which are better kept to yourself.  one method i have found to be particularly successful for reaching this state is lack of sleep.  when you are incapable of sorting out your ideas, when someone asks you something as simple as where you got your new shirt from you will end up telling them the entire history of the purchase (well it's a funny story actually because i almost wasn't going to be able to buy it because it was sooo expensive but i wanted it so badly for weeks and i knew it would sell out but then somehow it went on sale!  i still didn't have enough money but fortunately one of my friends got sick so i covered for her on her shift and on the way to work i saw that the shirt had been marked down another 50%!  so i went in and got it and it was the best day ever except that later i found out that my friend actually has a blood disease which really sucks because...).  when you try and explain your point in an argument you will not be able to stop stuttering and going around your point in circles and never reaching it because you can't stop explaining all the details but can't figure out how to fit them together to say what they actually mean.

3.  stop writing in your diary because you spend too much time on the internet.  start using your newfound internet friends as your personal blog.  the more self-obsessed you are the more empty chatter you'll be able to throw at them.

wow see this post was just supposed to be a quick way to procrastonate before going to work because i woke up too early this morning but i now have only 5 mins left before i have to leave and i haven't even changed yet but i hope at least i have taught you a thing or two here

öde:
Sentences that start with either "No offence, but..." or "You know what they say..." are always winners.

a pack of wolves:
I'm actually quite guilty of going off on one in a similar fashion to that. My views tend to be rather opposed to those of people who say something along the lines of "you know what they say..." but still, I'm just blathering on about my opinions.

I often find people who can run on and on about nothing much at all quite restful. I have to make no effort in the conversation and I can just daydream about Poison Idea or whatever.

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