Comic Discussion > QUESTIONABLE CONTENT

WCDT - 6-10 September 2010 (1746-1750)

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LeeC:
aren't temper-pedic pillows that small though?

akronnick:
So is Faye coming to work tomorrow or what?

raoullefere:

--- Quote from: Moxie on 08 Sep 2010, 10:37 ---Raoullefere, you posted a theory in last week's thread that I really agreed with - namely, Dora is a master of the self-fulfilling prophesy. Relationship-wise, she sets herself up to fail, deals with a crappy relationship (while further lowering her self-esteem), and then watches as the relationship fails (presumably this involves being dumped by the guy). You pointed out that she started this relationship with Marten with the same idea in mind (because Marten was obviously attracted to Faye)...but then Marten was different. And now she doesn't know what to do, so she chooses to lash out in a preemptive "hurt them before they hurt me" fashion.

I really like that theory. I also think it really fits in neatly with what Sven told us about Dora's dating history. And if that ends up being right, that's why I'm bothered by her in today's comic.

[snip for brevity, not for lack of thoughtful reasoning]

I can see Marten thinking there's some resolution from this conversation, but I'm not convinced there is on Dora's side. Yet.

--- End quote ---
If I am right, (and Jeph only knows that) then it's going to be very difficult for Dora to 'catch' herself doing that. That's why I think she needs counseling, so an uninvolved party can help Dora learn to perceive clues in her thought process that indicate she's 'doing it again.' Your brain needs training to do what you want it to, just like a balky horse. You have to be able to know when he's going to cut to the right to leave the arena before he does it. Correct him enough, and, in theory, he stops doing that. (In practice, the sneaky bastard waits until you're not paying attention for a while, then does it again. And so does your brain. But I'm told eventually they give up.)

But, to me, Dora's at least trying to do that tonight. She's listening to herself and stopping when she catches herself in the discrepancy between what she says in panel 2 (justification) and panel 3 (accessing reality). That's a start, yes? But very few people, I suspect, can do this sort of thing on their own, or at least it will take much longer.

No, Dora's issue is not as serious as Faye's problem (no black outs or possible attempted suicides, for one thing), and then again, it's exactly the same, because both of them expect a bad part of their history to repeat itself in new ways, but with the same devastating effect on them. It's why each woman fears the possibility of repetition and how she reacts that differ. But both problems have at least one other thing in common: the absolute ability to make their possessors miserable beings who are well able to 'starve to death' in the 'land of milk and honey.' (Or Marten and Angus. Call them what you will  :-D) The difference there is that while Faye's issues have kept her from eating at all, Dora's allows her a few nice meals before starving her again. Which is worse?

Oh, and points to Marten for more full disclosure. So long as he holds to that, he keeps the moral authority (or whatever you want to call it) to hold Dora to it, too (which she did). I guess that's some of the handling Carl-E's concerned about, but doesn't she need it at this point?

Edit: got to stop building walls. 'Pintsize Lol' would've covered it, I think.

akronnick:
I don't know what is motivating the Dora hate, but I suspect that those who are dissapointed that Marten didn't dump her expect perfect relationships at all times, and if one partner fails the other, the only recourse is to DTMFA.

And yes, earlier in this arc, I did say that if Dora didn't see that she was wrong here, Marten should DTMFA, but I emphasized the if.

Now that Dora has shown remorse, and in the latest strip has begun to analyse her insecurity, Marten would be an absolute heel if he dumped her.

D'ingTMFA when you really care about someone is the relationship equivalent of declaring war: to be avoided at all costs, but sometimes there is no alternative. It shouldn't be the standard response anytime your SO fails to live up to a standard of some kind, especially if they are willing to try to alter their behaviour, as Dora is doing now.

And as much as I can't beleive I'm actually saying it, Pintsize is right, they do need to get to the make-up sex, if only to metabolize the angry hormones and replace them with the feel-good cocktail of brain chemicals that the beast with two backs is so good at producing.

Switchblade:

--- Quote from: Econoclast on 08 Sep 2010, 23:18 ---Weak. Way to be a total wuss, Marten.

Jeph threw away the perfect opportunity to break those two up -- something that's been overdue for years.
--- End quote ---

funny how two people can read the same comic, and one of them can come away with such a totally fucking ass-backwards interpretation.

A good relationship - the kind that involves two people telling each other "I love you", "I love you too" AND MEANING IT - does not spring fully formed out of some kind of faery-tale cereal box. They require hard work and commitment. They require one or both sides to be tolerant of the other's foibles.

Marten just spent several strips showing that he has an emotional core of tempered steel and the calm resolve to make his relationship work despite the rocky patches, and you think he's a wuss? Brother, you wouldn't recognise real strength if it fucked your eyeballs out with the UBMEOD. For him to dump her without an honest attempt at resolution would have been the most weaksauce, spineless, reprehensible thing he could have done.

The guy may be a physical wimp but heck, I aspire to have that kind of emotional fortitude. And if you think otherwise, then I suggest you resign yourself to never finding a lifelong partner.

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