Topic: guys i hate single serve coffee machines so much (Read 61547 times)

Inlander · « **Reply #100 on:** 05 Jan 2011, 14:52 »

Wait wait wait wait, just stop for a moment.

We're doing "I like my coffee like I like my women" jokes and Switty's is the classiest and least offensive?

What??

Drill King · « **Reply #101 on:** 05 Jan 2011, 14:55 »

Quote from: Jeans on 05 Jan 2011, 08:40

khar is still my favourite person

Liz · « **Reply #102 on:** 05 Jan 2011, 15:08 »

I like my women like I like my coffee.

In that I don't.

Drill King · « **Reply #103 on:** 05 Jan 2011, 15:12 »

Well.

I like my women pretty different than I like my coffee, my coffee if it's the first one of the morning I like it full of milk and sugar, and then after that black. Always the same pattern. The same routine, day in day out, increasing or decreasing numbers. Ulcer inducing.

That is not how I want my women.

jwhouk · « **Reply #104 on:** 05 Jan 2011, 15:49 »

We got an ultra-cheapo one (Cafe Uno) as a gift. It's kinda meh. It works for us, because we don't drink enough to make an entire pot of coffee.

Elizzybeth · « **Reply #105 on:** 05 Jan 2011, 15:59 »

Quote from: tender on 05 Jan 2011, 15:27

My grandmother enjoyed a full-bodied cup of coffee, and ground the coffee with her own coffee grinder.

Obviously, she was a serial killer.

Is this... a Dexter reference?

tania · « **Reply #106 on:** 05 Jan 2011, 16:41 »

i like my coffee the way i like my men: so terrible that only i can enjoy it
(sorry tommy)

Quote from: Liz on 05 Jan 2011, 15:08

I like my women like I like my coffee.

In that I don't.

hey dude no offense but you have seriously made like a billion posts on this forum about not liking women, it's cool, we know

Lines · « **Reply #107 on:** 05 Jan 2011, 16:42 »

I like my women like I like my coffee - cleverly disguised as something else or covering up all their faults with sugar.

Wait, that last bit doesn't really work. Ladies would be walking around covered in sugar and probably get an ant infestation. Yuck!

tania · « **Reply #108 on:** 05 Jan 2011, 16:51 »

i like my coffee the way i like my women, fairly traded

Liz · « **Reply #109 on:** 05 Jan 2011, 16:54 »

Actually I think it's been the same joke every time.

Really I'm just covering up my love for ladies because I am so terribly ashamed and all that.

Or something.

tania · « **Reply #110 on:** 05 Jan 2011, 16:59 »

i like my coffee the way i like my women, $2 and done in five minutes

tania · « **Reply #111 on:** 05 Jan 2011, 17:01 »

i like my coffee the way i like my women, which is that i enjoy having sex with both of them (i have weird fetishes)

Something Witty · « **Reply #112 on:** 05 Jan 2011, 17:05 »

Quote from: Inlander on 05 Jan 2011, 14:52

Wait wait wait wait, just stop for a moment.

We're doing "I like my coffee like I like my women" jokes and Switty's is the classiest and least offensive?

What??

You found the joke within the joke! Great job!

Old standby: I like my women like I like my coffee. Ground up and packed in airtight containers, preferably on a shelf in a local grocery store, definitely not a walmart or other chain giant, because coffee from giant megastores does nothing but put small local coffee shops(which are pretty universally awesome) out of business.

Edit: tania congrats on the most awkwardly phrased sentence(that isn't just broken english) I have ever had the displeasure of reading.

tania · « **Reply #113 on:** 05 Jan 2011, 17:10 »

is my prize a single-serve coffee machine?

Something Witty · « **Reply #114 on:** 05 Jan 2011, 17:16 »

Something Witty · « **Reply #115 on:** 05 Jan 2011, 17:16 »

Man, hot chocolate sounds good..

Liz · « **Reply #116 on:** 05 Jan 2011, 17:17 »

Everyone wins!

Something Witty · « **Reply #117 on:** 05 Jan 2011, 17:23 »

pres buton

get chocolate

Something Witty · « **Reply #118 on:** 05 Jan 2011, 17:24 »

With bonus counter smudge.

David_Dovey · « **Reply #119 on:** 05 Jan 2011, 19:53 »

Oh no I'm a snob oh no.

Whatever, plebs.

tania · « **Reply #120 on:** 05 Jan 2011, 20:01 »

according to the various labels on this thing, the coffee that i buy is direct-to-farmer fair trade, carbon neutral, AND uses primarily recycled material in their manufacturing process. also the website makes a point (among many) of noting that most of the company's staff don't own cars and either ride their bikes or take the bus to work.

i am a snob

David_Dovey · « **Reply #121 on:** 05 Jan 2011, 20:06 »

No I'm pretty sure that makes you a filthy hippie.

Johnny C · « **Reply #122 on:** 05 Jan 2011, 23:41 »

i like my coffee the way i like my women; that is to say, i prefer tea

Johnny C · « **Reply #123 on:** 05 Jan 2011, 23:42 »

i like my women the way i like my coffee: ha ha just kidding what's a women

Johnny C · « **Reply #124 on:** 05 Jan 2011, 23:42 »

i like my women the way i like my coffee: irish

Tom · « **Reply #125 on:** 06 Jan 2011, 00:35 »

drunk and incomprehensible?

KharBevNor · « **Reply #126 on:** 06 Jan 2011, 00:41 »

racist

Inlander · « **Reply #127 on:** 06 Jan 2011, 00:46 »

I like my coffee like I like my women: psychologically well-adjusted and with a nice smile.

. . . Wow, this is harder than it looks!

Jimmy the Squid · « **Reply #128 on:** 06 Jan 2011, 00:58 »

I like my coffees like I like my women: Having had several dicks in them before mine.

Dliessmgg · « **Reply #129 on:** 06 Jan 2011, 03:03 »

I like women better than coffee, but I never get what I want.

The Seldom Killer · « **Reply #130 on:** 06 Jan 2011, 03:40 »

I like my coffee like I like my women, , hot, independant, ogle discreetly whilst I never work up the courage to talk to it and weep bitter tears in to me... Wait, what's this warm stuff in a mug called?

Inlander · « **Reply #131 on:** 06 Jan 2011, 05:18 »

I frequently like women who are serving me coffee, but getting a crush on a waitress is not a good idea because you only ever see her when she's working and all of your interactions with her are marked by a certain degree of artificiality due to the fact that she's working in a service industry which, by its nature, demands a base level of friendliness towards customers, so you can never be sure just how much she likes you no matter how nicely she smiles at you when she sees you.

But sometimes if you're nice to a waitress she'll give you a free coffee.

The Seldom Killer · « **Reply #132 on:** 06 Jan 2011, 05:27 »

You are Harry Enfield and I claim my free coffee.

ibrahimdelil · « **Reply #133 on:** 06 Jan 2011, 06:17 »

how much coffee is too much coffee? not how many cups a day or anything, more like, how much coffee for a cup. i like coffee very thick and make it with 3-4 tablespoons for a single serving french press. how bad may it be for my health?

The Seldom Killer · « **Reply #134 on:** 06 Jan 2011, 06:25 »

Unless you look ilke this, you should be fine.

David_Dovey · « **Reply #135 on:** 06 Jan 2011, 07:34 »

I like my women like I like my coffee: Hairy

StaedlerMars · « **Reply #136 on:** 06 Jan 2011, 07:38 »

Quote from: David_Dovey on 06 Jan 2011, 07:34

I like my women like I like my coffee: Harry

Johnny C · « **Reply #137 on:** 06 Jan 2011, 07:41 »

i like my women like i like my coffee: free refills

Johnny C · « **Reply #138 on:** 06 Jan 2011, 07:46 »

i like my women like i like my coffee: black as midnight on a moonless night, and pouring slowly out of my cup like rich, thick tar

The Seldom Killer · « **Reply #139 on:** 06 Jan 2011, 07:50 »

I think I like your women too.

Johnny C · « **Reply #140 on:** 06 Jan 2011, 08:06 »

Quote from: Ptommydski on 06 Jan 2011, 07:57

Damn good....and hot.

literally the exact thing i based my last post on

David_Dovey · « **Reply #141 on:** 06 Jan 2011, 08:09 »

I like my coffee like I like my women: With vaginas up in

Johnny C · « **Reply #142 on:** 06 Jan 2011, 08:14 »

i like my women like i like my coffee: featured on 'cold case files'

The Seldom Killer · « **Reply #143 on:** 06 Jan 2011, 08:17 »

Quote from: David_Dovey on 06 Jan 2011, 08:09

I like my coffee like I like my women: With vaginas up in

There's a Starbucks joke in there somewhere.

KharBevNor · « **Reply #144 on:** 06 Jan 2011, 08:49 »

I like my women like I like my jokes: formulaic.

Gemmwah · « **Reply #145 on:** 06 Jan 2011, 08:58 »

I bought a baby french press because of this thread.

SonofZ3 · « **Reply #146 on:** 06 Jan 2011, 12:13 »

I like my coffee like I like my women- Found in expensive, chic coffee shops, even though deep down I can't tell the difference from what I get at the gas station.

Gemmwah · « **Reply #147 on:** 06 Jan 2011, 12:52 »

OH MY GOD DELICIOUS COFFEE. AT HOME.

Best purchase ever.

Barmymoo · « **Reply #148 on:** 06 Jan 2011, 13:51 »

I have gone off coffee and women because of this thread (and jokes).

Johnny C · « **Reply #149 on:** 06 Jan 2011, 14:12 »

Quote from: KharBevNor on 06 Jan 2011, 08:49

I like my women like I like my jokes: formulaic.

we know, we read the last two pages of the thread

THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

Author Topic: guys i hate single serve coffee machines so much (Read 61547 times)