Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

I'm with Martens Mom, its better than Dating !

6 (4.7%)

I am open to it, but I also do relationships.

56 (44.1%)

I tried it, but I didnt liked it.

15 (11.8%)

I'm only into serious relationships.

42 (33.1%)

No sex before marriage.

8 (6.3%)

Total Members Voted: 108

[snubnose]

i've always thought this to be a relic of past times, when birth control didnt exist yet and women had to have the (sortof) financial and social security of having a husband (in those times divorce was unheard of as well) before they could risk getting pregnant

Religious-moral belief reasons or simply the feeling that its more romantic this way could also be a reason.

Thank god my kids are nearly grown.   Instead of waking us in the middle of the night, we spend half the night waiting up for them...

  

You know, I try to remind myself not all men are that way. o.0

I just hope the one I chose will not be that way when we start our family. (Edit: I'm responding to you, about the post above yours, not directed towards you at all.)


I am a one person only kind of girl. I have tried casual sex, I did not enjoy it what-so-ever. It was very awkward, that was when I realized I only enjoy it with someone I love and care about. Everyone marches to a different beat.

Um.

About your first sentence: what way ?

I checked and this is your first posting in this thread. So I dont understand: what is this way that not all men are like ?

[Antario]

i've always thought this to be a relic of past times, when birth control didnt exist yet and women had to have the (sortof) financial and social security of having a husband (in those times divorce was unheard of as well) before they could risk getting pregnant

Religious-moral belief reasons or simply the feeling that its more romantic this way could also be a reason.

This kind of argument is almost made by requoting myself....
but for the hell of it: current organized religion is sortof the same deal, based on out-dated values and ancient shortsighted beliefs

and feeling it as more romatic would lead me to conclude you either come from a similar environment or are such a hopeless romantic i'd probably hurl at this sight of said person & partner 

[Nick and Marla]

I'd like to think no, but I've never been good enough with women to have a really rounded, knowledgeable viewpoint on the issue. From the girlfriends I have been....er..."lucky" enough to have, I'll just assume that one woman would be more than enough for me.

[pwhodges]

Before anyone picks it up, I'll remind people that the forum rules prohibit discussion of religion.

[Doctor Online]

Um.

About your first sentence: what way ?

I checked and this is your first posting in this thread. So I dont understand: what is this way that not all men are like ?

Maybe I said that wrong. I am mostly responding to when Armadillo said "I'd take any sex I could get right about now.   It's been a while.  grin" because he hasn't gotten any due to having had a child.

I've had a horrible past with men, my trust in a man committing to me and only me is very shaky at this point in my life (hence why I said what I said, not all men are sleaze balls like the ones I have known and I always try to remind myself that there are some pretty damn good men out there). I don't know if Armadillo was implying that if another woman tossed herself his way he wouldn't hesitate to cheat, unless his wife was ok with that, however he didn't say so. I am wrong to assume the worst of his situation, sorry.

[Carl-E]

Faithful or no, having a newborn in the house kills everyone's sex life.  It's just the way of the world. 

Don't worry, a week or so after the babe starts sleeping the night through, it all comes back! 

[Antario]

Faithful or no, having a newborn in the house kills everyone's sex life.  It's just the way of the world. 

Don't worry, a week or so after the babe starts sleeping the night through, it all comes back! 

no personal experience, but i would immagine sleep depravation kinda does that to your sexlife
not like its any change from the 9 months before that (well for most people), do most guys in that situation rekindle the intimate relation with their right hand ;o?    poor suckers

Before anyone picks it up, I'll remind people that the forum rules prohibit discussion of religion.

sorry must've missed that, is there a rules topic i missed somewhere?
thought i read em all

[pwhodges]

Ooo, I can't find that as a rule in the main rules thread either!  However, "no religion or politics" has been imposed by the moderators since before I joined this board, and more recently a separate forum (Discuss) was started which allows them in civilised discussion.  The Discuss forum has an introductory thread by the forum administrator (admin > mod), est, which refers to this matter.  Because Discuss currently doesn't allow you to post until you have 100 posts elsewhere, and because I'm not sure if you can even see it before then, I quote the post:

Welcome to the DISCUSS forum!

This is a place for lively discussion/civil debate on any topic.  The "No religion or politics" rule does not apply to this section of the forum, however all other forum rules still apply, including insta-bans for porn, gore and other obviously offensive material.    Links out to artistic nudity is allowed if it is within reference to the topic being discussed - and I must stress artistic nudity as being what is generally regarded as fine art, not some anime tentacle rape bullshit.

Insults, ad hominem attacks, trolling, baiting, passive-aggressive bullshit and other forms of shit-dickery will not be tolerated at all in this forum.  Disagreement with another poster's opinions is welcome.  However if you cannot voice your disagreement without resorting to personal insults, you have no place here.  Anyone found being a jackass will be barred from this section of the forum completely for a time fitting with the kind of behaviour displayed, and any offensive or overly disruptive posts may be either edited or removed wholesale to keep conversations mostly on-track.

Basically this is an experiment in creating a "serious" (and fairly heavily-moderated) forum where people can talk about things that would normally garner a "why are you posting this?"

[Olymander]

no personal experience, but i would immagine sleep depravation kinda does that to your sexlife
not like its any change from the 9 months before that (well for most people), do most guys in that situation rekindle the intimate relation with their right hand ;o?    poor suckers

No personal experience either, but I've heard that sex is quite allowable until quite late in pregnancy, apart from, um, positional issues.

Edit - @pwhodges your link to the introductory thread comes up with a "does not exist or is off limits" page for me, and I'm under the 100 post limit (although darn close!)

[pwhodges]

I'll see if we need to update one of the main rules threads so that the rule is clear to all...

[rje]

I think I'm just not in a place to want or deal with polyamory.  When I am in the head space for monogamy, I don't really crave anything (or anyone) outside that--and I'm bisexual, so I guess that's a little unusual.  When I am not, I also tend to not be in a head space for any kind of commitment either, but then I have struggled with commitment in the past.
 

Haha are you in my headspace?

Yeah pretty much that. I've slept with friends (who remained friends, no weirdness), both boys and girls, and I've slept with practically strangers (I seriously can't remember some names lol), and I've had open relationships where I dated someone specifically but occasionally we slept with other people. Sometimes separate, sometimes together. (I'm not a swinger per se, but my friends were.) But then I had a relationship that went on and on and my feelings changed, and I just didn't want to sleep with other people anymore without him being involved, and he felt the same way (yay for that, haha.)

That was my first long-term relationship so I didn't know my feelings on the matter would change...but I think they do. I think that if I fall in love with someone, I still want to have casual sex but only if they're a part of it because I laaav theeem and I like their parts best of all. But maybe sometimes I'm attracted to other parts..and I will wholly admit, being bisexual, sometimes I really crave the parts I'm not currently getting. 8'D lols

[Armadillo]

No, I would NOT cheat on my wife if some random woman threw herself at me.  I married her for a reason, and take my vows seriously.

Good God, can't a guy make a "my sex life's gone into the crapper since the knee-biter got pooped out" crack without being assumed a complete jerk?  I mean, I'd bet they've found a similar joke written in hieroglyphics.

[Doctor Online]

I apologize again. I didn't mean to step on toes, but the way it read seemed like it was so.

And yeah, stress/lack of sleep/babies are sex killers. However, headaches are no excuse, sex helps! 

I like to call babies demon spawn. At least I know mine will be, because I was a terrible kid... and I will get paid back by having kids that are worse than how I was.

[El_Flesh]

y'know alot of this would be alot easier to follow if gender were indicated somewhere...

I'm just sayin'

[Antario]

I apologize again. I didn't mean to step on toes, but the way it read seemed like it was so.

And yeah, stress/lack of sleep/babies are sex killers. However, headaches are no excuse, sex helps! 

I like to call babies demon spawn. At least I know mine will be, because I was a terrible kid... and I will get paid back by having kids that are worse than how I was.

so by that logic your grandkids will be the antichrist?

y'know alot of this would be alot easier to follow if gender were indicated somewhere...

I'm just sayin'

some people prefer to keep that to themselves, as with most personal info
internet is full of crazies

[pwhodges]

y'know a lot of this would be a lot easier to follow if gender were indicated somewhere...

That's what people's profiles are for.

some people prefer to keep that to themselves, as with most personal info
internet is full of crazies

I don't think that information that reduces the number of people you could be to just half of the planet is seriously compromising, do you?

[Olymander]

some people prefer to keep that to themselves, as with most personal info
internet is full of crazies

I don't think that information that reduces the number of people you could be to just half of the planet is seriously compromising, do you?

I think it's usually more of a way for people to avoid "indecent" advances (thus usually done more commonly by females than males).  Probably a holdover from the "old days" when people would be like "Oh, wow! A girl on the internetz!  I must have your phone number!"

[emikoala]

Also, some folks do not want to have their opinions discredited based on gender. "Well of course a MAN would say something so offensive!" or "Silly wimmins, with their hysterical irrationality!" The old, if a man says A he's assertive, if a woman says A she's a bitch; if a woman says B she's kind, if a man says B he's a wuss.

[pwhodges]

Anyone who offensively misused information in that kind of way on this board would be out on their ear PDQ.

[Doctor Online]

so by that logic your grandkids will be the antichrist?

No, they would be perfect angels. That's how it works out. The parent goes through hell with their kids, then when the kids grow up and make their own babies, the grandparent pays their babies back by spoiling the mess out of the grand babies!

Great grandparent? The great grandchild gets away with murder. I've learned this from my boyfriends incredibly large family.

....I just lost myself....  

Of course I'm saying all of this in a light hearted manner. I hope you aren't taking me serious. =D



Edit: Woooooah. Fixed the quote text. Whoops.

[Emperor Norton]

Idk, I've never understood sex with random strangers... but sex with a friend I trust I'm ok with. I have an odd situation in being both polyamorous and being very wary of physical intimacy with people. I have to REALLY REALLY trust them. My wife on the other hand... has much less of a problem with that. (but still, people we know and that I don't hate (that rule works both ways, she can veto any specific person for me as well), and we have to communicate it to the other beforehand). But hey, it works for us and we are happy.

[pwhodges]

I'll see if we need to update one of the main rules threads so that the rule is clear to all...

It appears that the rule ("no religion or politics") was removed in view of the Discuss forum being created, which at that time was visible to all.  So I guess that I was a touch too sensitive; sorry, all. 

If mention of religion or politics leads to behaviour that breaches the rule that says "BEHAVIOR: Please be civil" that's another matter, of course; and I guess that serious discussion of those subjects belongs in Discuss anyway, just as a matter of tidiness.

[Sorflakne]

I might be into casual sex, if...bleh, I don't want to say it.  It's rather...embarrassing. (and no, I'm not talking about size)

[Carl-E]

OK, so why did you post that if you redacted the whole thing? 

you're such a tease!

[Antario]

so by that logic your grandkids will be the antichrist?

No, they would be perfect angels. That's how it works out. The parent goes through hell with their kids, then when the kids grow up and make their own babies, the grandparent pays their babies back by spoiling the mess out of the grand babies!

Great grandparent? The great grandchild gets away with murder. I've learned this from my boyfriends incredibly large family.

....I just lost myself....  

what i got from this is if you dont have grandparents you are/were a horrible child?
otherwise you seriously lost me ;o

[rje]

And yeah, stress/lack of sleep/babies are sex killers. However, headaches are no excuse, sex helps! 

My headaches always get worse when I orgasm. Like way worse. ): Which has been annoying at times...when you just wanna get off and go to bed and then inadvertently make it impossible to sleep for the next hour or two... >n>

[Loki]

Well, my girlfriend swears sex DOES help against a headache. I suppose it depends on the way you have sex; as long as no major movings of head are involved, it will most likely be fine. Somebody should probably write a doctor paper on it.

[Carl-E]

Actually, I think it depends more on the headache type - some come from increased blood pressure, and if you're a guy, all the blood coming back into your system from losing your erection would increase your overall BP, so your headache would get worse...

But yeah, the shaking probably doesn't help. 

Disclaimer;  I have a doctorate, but am not a Doctor, nor do I play one on TV

[Wraith11B]

But he did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.... 

[MikeL]

Is it just me who has no idea what I'm 'into'? If I try to have a serious relationship, I'm really bad at connecting with people and I always end up either being too open and naive or too cold and uncaring. If I try to do it casual, I tend to always end up having feelings or getting nervous or something else retarded. Nothing seems to make any sense to me. I'm kind of curious that most people here seem to know exactly what works for them. The impulses towards loneliness and horniness that we all feel, I have no idea how to interpret or what to best do about them 

[Somnus Eternus]

Well, my girlfriend swears sex DOES help against a headache.

This.  And how.  The endorphins do wonders for a headache.

Well, provided it's not a full-blown migraine.  But then, I doubt you could get anyone with a migraine to do anything in bed besides lie down with the covers over their head and maybe try to sleep.

[TheEvilDog]

Well, my girlfriend swears sex DOES help against a headache.

This.  And how.  The endorphins do wonders for a headache.

Well, provided it's not a full-blown migraine.  But then, I doubt you could get anyone with a migraine to do anything in bed besides lie down with the covers over their head and maybe try to sleep.

Sometimes you can't even do that. Nothing is worse than waking up in the morning from the sheer splitting agony your head is in.

[Doctor Online]

I slept 4 days when I had my first migraine.. when I was awake I was laying in bed crying myself back to sleep. 4 days worth of migraine for a 12 year old = no fun.


Rje, that's no good. =[ I guess we're all a tad bit different in that nature. I figured endorphins would pretty much kick in no matter what for anyone.

Carl-E shaking doesn't really help, I agree. However, after having an orgasm I generally forget about the head rattly feeling I had moments before. 

[maddness]

I was a virgin til I was 21, mainly because there was no one I knew that I wanted to have sex with. When I was a teen some of my friends used to joke that I was asexual, which I wasn't. I got plenty randy, but it just never seemed to attach itself to anyone. I thought about doing it with my best friend as a sort of see what the big deal is about thing, but I figured it would be a really bad idea for me. He offered and I totally loved the guy, but it would have been wrong because 1) I really needed him as a best friend and I didn't want to risk getting things all twisted up in my head. 2) He preferred men even though he did sleep with ladies on occasion. 3) It would have felt slightly incestuous as our relationship was almost brother/sister like ... admittedly more on my end than his.

I can't do casual for the basic reason that I have to be into someone to get physically excited by them. I can look at someone attractive and think them attractive, but I've never been one to see an attractive person and think "I'd like to jump on that and ride it like a pony!" (A friend of mine actually said this once)

I'm definitely into monogamy. I don't think I'm emotionally capable of dealing with an open relationship. When I love someone, I'm not good at sharing their attention/affection with others. This is true of non-sexual relationships as well. I kind of have this thing where I like to be the center of the universe. I'm not an easy person to be live with, but a point in my favor is that I know what my issues are and I try not to let them run me to the point where I make people miserable.

I'm bisexual, but I am not one to crave sex from one gender or the other. Sex is awesome, I don't particularly have to have it from a man or a woman to make it so.

Sex and headaches ... I've had it work both ways. I guess it depends on the headache.

I apologize again. I didn't mean to step on toes, but the way it read seemed like it was so.

And yeah, stress/lack of sleep/babies are sex killers. However, headaches are no excuse, sex helps! 

I like to call babies demon spawn. At least I know mine will be, because I was a terrible kid... and I will get paid back by having kids that are worse than how I was.

so by that logic your grandkids will be the antichrist?

Well, my grandma' called me both demon spawn and devil child, and there are days when I'm pretty sure my middle child is the antichrist. 

[Loki]

Sex and headaches ... I've had it work both ways. I guess it depends on the headache.

Speaking of "both ways"... when I am tired, sex tends to make me awake, but when I am rather awake, it makes me tired.

[Carl-E]

Sooo... it's good in the morning and  in the evening! 

[Sorflakne]

OK, so why did you post that if you redacted the whole thing? 

you're such a tease!

It's because...oh hell with it, Internet anonymity can be a good thing at times.

Thing is, I don't know how to broach the subject of sex with a girl.  Sure, talking/joking about it with them I can do just fine, but initiating the actual act itself...is much harder.  In short, I blame it on the fact that I have a really hard time reading people and either miss or misinterpret the vast majority of whatever subtle body language is being directed at me, not to mention I suck at picking out subtleties in speech that point one way or the other. 

So yeah, casual sex might be fun, if I knew how to get to it.

[rje]

Doctor O - I'M DOING IT WRONG   
haha nah I bet it's a combo of how my body tenses a lot when I climax (like my head too, which actually kind of hurts when it happens but I don't even know I'm doing it til afterwards when it's like 'ow my neck >_<') and my insanely irregular breathing lmao. I'm pretty sure I hyperventilate at the rise and stop breathing at the climax. My orgasms are stupidly intense. Being asthmatic probably doesn't help huh? 

But the endorphins *are* nice indeed =w=

Sex and headaches ... I've had it work both ways. I guess it depends on the headache.

Speaking of "both ways"... when I am tired, sex tends to make me awake, but when I am rather awake, it makes me tired.

Haha omg what is that - oh yeah those endorphins. When it makes me awake, it makes me awake. I'm all ::shoves partner to the side:: Cuddling? Nap? Wtf are you talking about, we've got to go jogging! And clean EVERY ROOM EVERYWHERE! And REPAINT THE HOUSE! REPAINT THE NEIGHBORHOOD! C'mon, c'mon!! ::runs out the door::

[TheEvilDog]

Speaking of "both ways"... when I am tired, sex tends to make me awake, but when I am rather awake, it makes me tired.

Haha omg what is that - oh yeah those endorphins. When it makes me awake, it makes me awake. I'm all ::shoves partner to the side:: Cuddling? Nap? Wtf are you talking about, we've got to go jogging! And clean EVERY ROOM EVERYWHERE! And REPAINT THE HOUSE! REPAINT THE NEIGHBORHOOD! C'mon, c'mon!! ::runs out the door::

I just hope you remember to put some pants on before you go running out the house.... Being brought home by the cops, wrapped up in a blanket, does not actually sound like it would be a pleasent experience.

[nockiemommy]

Yes, it is ALWAYS better if everyone orgasms! But if that's the case (that if someone orgasms, it's sex), what do you call masturbation? If you are masturbating by yourself and reach orgasm, did you just have sex with yourself? If that's the case, is any curious teen who masturbates and orgasms no longer a virgin, even if they've only ever been by themselves?      

... I think my brain just imploded. Well-thought, but damn. My easily-cinfused poor brain is having a day today.

And Carl-E ... pleading the fifth? Here? GAH .. you should know better. This place is Overshare HELL! We're in a tactical TMI testing zone!

*EDIT: I spelled place "plas" .. duh

[CoyoteKnight]

Ah, it's good to see that humanity can't kick its social instincts and many still prefer relationships.

Not that there's anything wrong with that...

[Doctor Online]

I can't do casual for the basic reason that I have to be into someone to get physically excited by them. I can look at someone attractive and think them attractive, but I've never been one to see an attractive person and think "I'd like to jump on that and ride it like a pony!" (A friend of mine actually said this once)

I'm definitely into monogamy. I don't think I'm emotionally capable of dealing with an open relationship. When I love someone, I'm not good at sharing their attention/affection with others. This is true of non-sexual relationships as well. I kind of have this thing where I like to be the center of the universe. I'm not an easy person to be live with, but a point in my favor is that I know what my issues are and I try not to let them run me to the point where I make people miserable.

This. I am the exact same way. I used to get insanely jealous when I was a child when my parents would say another little girl was adorable. I'm not as bad as I used to be, however when it comes to someone I love and am intimate with, it's still there. When I was approached in the past by an ex about a three-some, I replied "If I were to allow it, I know my emotions will overtake me and the moment she touches you I will be on top of her beating her ass. No."

Haha omg what is that - oh yeah those endorphins. When it makes me awake, it makes me awake. I'm all ::shoves partner to the side:: Cuddling? Nap? Wtf are you talking about, we've got to go jogging! And clean EVERY ROOM EVERYWHERE! And REPAINT THE HOUSE! REPAINT THE NEIGHBORHOOD! C'mon, c'mon!! ::runs out the door::

Exact same way. Usually we knock each other the hell out in the middle of the daytime. When we knock each other out, those cuddles and naps are the greatest. 

[cyro]

I am open to it, but I also do relationships.

I guess this. I never really thought about it much. I'm currently happy in a 2 year monogamous relationship, before that I was in an open relationship for about 6 months, and before that certified man-whore.

I never really gave it much thought, I just kinda went with the flow.

[maddness]

Your user pic is strangely appropriate to the discussion.

[cyro]

well at least I added something, I guess.

 

[ginandphonics]

I don't see anything wrong with the casual thing. If you're not in the right places to become emotionally involved with someone but you're into them, why bother complicating things by trying to label it as something more than casual.

[Deadlywonky]

And Carl-E ... pleading the fifth? Here? GAH .. you should know better. This place is Overshare HELL! We're in a tactical TMI testing zone!

Screw tactical, this is full on strategic TMI bombardment!


Good fun to read though.

[Rot10Kid]

Well, had my first casual experience this past week. Gotta say that I was...bored.

[Nettle]

I only like serious relationships. I like emotions.

[charybdis]

My fiance and I have discussed threesomes or opening the relationship or whatever, but have decided it wouldn't work as we are too attached to each other 
We were each other's firsts, more out of wanting to find the right person than anything.

So, I s'pose neither of us are into casual per se, but that doesn't stop me from being an extremely affectionate drunk and him getting a chuckle out of my "25% Gay" side making itself known. (Of course, most of that is the fact that he's the stereotype "Woo! Girl-on-girl!" type )