I'm so pissed at my friend.
She's offered to help me out before with money - and then when I said yes, I'd like her help, she squirmed out of it and I ended up homeless.
She's got a job, she's gone to college, she's had everything she's ever wanted handed to her - she comes from an upper-middle class family and I *know* she has the ability to help me, twenty times over what I'm asking.
She was offering to give me $250 so I could take my truck up to Vermont and visit her. Well, that was stressing me out because that wouldn't really cover the trip and trying to figure out how I'd make a trip like that was putting way too much stress on me, so I cancelled it and told her what I really needed was...y'know, $250. She said she'd get it to me.
A week later, she told me she couldn't get it to me within the next few paychecks, and is that okay? Well, no, that's *not* okay because I'm fucking desperate and broke now. I'm having to pay to replace my lost wallet and everything in it - I have to pay for the heat here, for my own food, and no, waiting a month or two or however long it is isn't really going to help me. She said okay, she'd just take it out of savings.
Well, she came on last night (this was all a few weeks ago, mind) we talked for a bit, and then I told her that I kind of need help *now* so I can buy some heating fuel and if she was still going to help me? And she told me no, because she felt unappreciated and resentful of me.
This is the person who I pushed into standing up to her parents, that I pushed into moving out onto her own, that I pushed through transitioning, that I pushed through her name change. She's thanked me for everything I've done for her every time we talk, and told me that I've done *so* much for her and she wants to pay me back for everything, and now she fucking resents me?
I'm so fucking pissed off at her. Fuck rich kids. Every time I've needed help, it's not been the people who have money, not the kids with college education and $40/hour jobs that have helped me, but the ones who are homeless, the ones who are broke as broke can be, the ones who are squatting and dumpstering and stealing to survive.
I'm fucking tired of rich kids and their fucking selfish, privileged bullshit.