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QC Captions Vol. 118.5

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PintsizeForPresident:

--- Quote from: DSL on 13 Jun 2013, 05:09 ---
--- Quote from: PintsizeForPresident on 13 Jun 2013, 01:55 ---Ahem ...

MARTEN: I wish to file a complaint about this parrot. It seems to be dead.
SHOPDUDE: I'm sorry dude, but that's a guitar.
MARTEN: No it's not! I bought it here just half an hour ago and you assured me it was a parrot!
SHOPDUDE: Look dude, it's a GUITAR. It has strings and everything.
MARTEN: Strings? No, that's its cage.
SHOPDUDE: Again, strings. Look, there's 8 of them.
MARTEN: Aha! Got you there! Guitars have 6 strings, so this can' t be a guitar. It's a parrot, I say! And it has ceased to be!
SHOPDUDE: It's called an 8-string guitar.
MARTEN: No it isn't! There's no such thing! It is a parrot! An ex-parrot!
SHOPDUDE: Yes it is!
MARTEN: Got ya! Now can I have my money back?
SHOPDUDE: <sigh> Yeah, it's a parrot, whatever. Why don't you go to the pet shop down the road?
MARTEN: This is not a pet shop?

--- End quote ---

SHOPDUDE: "I never wanted this job, you know."
MARTEN: "You didn't?"
SHOPDUDE: "No, I wanted to be ... a lumberjack!  Ohhhhhh, I'm a ..."
MARTEN: "You've got the shirt for it."
MODERATOR (in British Army colonel's uniform): "Stop! Stop! This is far too silly!"

--- End quote ---

MARTEN: No please, let him sing! I could accompany him on this guitar!
SHOPDUDE: So now it IS a guitar! Why on earth did you insist it was a goddamn parrot just now?
MARTEN: I did not!
SHOPDUDE: Yes you did!
MARTEN: No I did not! Look, who are you, the Spanish Inquisition?

Zebediah:
GORDON: NO ONE EXPECTS THE SPIDER INQUISITION! Among our weaponry are surprise, fear, orbital bombardment, and - oh, I'll come in again.

DSL:
SPECIALS BOARD: Spam, spam, spam, mocha and spam.
PENELOPE: "Spam's off, dear."

MillionDollar Belt Sander:
I declare the thread won,  however there is only one Internet you'll have to divide it up fairly.

(dibs on the slow-motion jogging-chicks portion!)

jwhouk:
MARTEN: "Geez, she forgets what day it is, just once..."
GUITAR GUY (who looks suspiciously like Jeph): "Yeah, and all of a sudden it's Monty Python Quotation Day."

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