Now we're just getting catty
You ain't kitten.
We can't well kick-start the thread from a typo, though, petty as it would be, so I'm going to try and tell a tale I heard from a friend I made recently.
See, I took a theatre appreciation course, and I auditioned for a part in A Christmas Carol, because auditions gave +5 to your final grade and getting cast gave +50. I got cast, so I aced the shit out of the course, and also found out that a) I fucking love theatre, and b) there's some fascinating folk in little theatre!
The professor of the class for example, Layne. Layne's not got a degree in teaching, he only got the job because of his past experience as an actor, meaning they weren't about to pass up the offer from a former Broadway performer.
He's a pretty cool guy, full of stories about his time in New York, about the people he met. In addition to the actors, he met a bunch of the orchestra folk, and the shenanigans they could get up to while the actors were on-stage, or, most memorably, during long symphonic performances.
The story starts with his roommate at the time, played the double bass, not in the New York Philharmonic, but in a less-well-known, less-well-paying equivalent. The production was of Beethoven's ninth, and the thing about the bass part of that particular piece, is that there's about 20 minutes, right near the end, where they don't do a dang thing, they're meant to just sit there and look pretty, which they would have done was it the Philharmonic. However, the pay wasn't that good, they weren't doing that, so one night, they hit a timer so they knew when to get back and sneaked away. They ducked out of the performance venue, into an alley where they'd set aside a cooler for this exact purpose.
They had a drink, then another, and then a few more.
The buzzer went off, they had to rush back inside, but they'd had a bit much to drink!
Layne's roommate grins at his fellow player's panic, slurs at them, "Don't worry, I bought us some time! I made a knot out of the sheet music!"
This did not make things any better.
It was the bottom of the Ninth, the score was tied, and the bassists were loaded.