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[Blue Kitty]

[GarandMarine]

[Method of Madness]

I later learned it was over eighty years ago, when she said she'd never let go. Then she let go. I sank, and I sank fast, and everything was so cold, colder than I thought possible. All of a sudden I couldn't move, like I'd been encased in ice. It was oddly comforting, and I slept, never expecting to wake up. I didn't dream much, but when I did, it was always of her. Then all of a sudden I woke up. I looked up and the ice had started to crack. I was able to stick my arm out and I saw what had caused the crack, it was a blue stone. The Heart of the Fucking Ocean had awoken me from my eternal slumber. Suddenly I realized I was underwater, and grabbing the stone, swam up as fast as I could. I got to the surface, and oddly enough, there was a pair of sunglasses floating there, which was good, since it was bright out. I looked up and saw the person who had thrown in the stone and for a brief moment I saw her. "Rose?", I asked myself. "No, that can't be her, that woman's ancient...unless...how long was I under?" Luckily the boat was close enough so I was able to swim to it and attract the attention of someone on board, who lowered a life raft. I grabbed onto it, and if I knew what I was getting myself into...well, I'd still have grabbed the fucking thing, the ocean was still cold!

[LeeC]

[GarandMarine]

There is always someone out there more bored then you are.

[Method of Madness]

The ice is a nice touch.

[Kugai]

[Pilchard123]

That version's played out.

The better version:

There are 10 types of people in the world:

(click to show/hide)

Those who understand ternary, those who don't, and those who thought this was going to be a binary joke.

I know - I was trying to set that one up.

There are 10 types of people in the world:

(click to show/hide)

Those who understand hex and...well, F the rest.

[LeeC]

[LTK]

(click to show/hide)

"Oh wow. Oh man. Guys you gotta come check this out."

"Oh dude you were right this is amazing ahhhh yeah."

"Wait let me try... ohhh no way you weren't kidding. Let's stay here all day."

[LeeC]

[Blue Kitty]

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a picture that so fully summed up what it is to be a cat owner.

[LeeC]

I've seen some cat ladies before but wow.

The look on the cat's face! "You got 10 seconds to get off me before I rip out your fukin throat!"

[Barmymoo]

Whilst I think stuff like that is adorable and really cute, I always feel bad for the future kid who discovers that it wasn't true and it was all an elaborate, if lovingly-meant, hoax. I was gutted when I discovered the was no tooth fairy.

[BeoPuppy]

http://vectorsdev.usc.edu/NYCsound/777b.html

[Method of Madness]

Whilst I think stuff like that is adorable and really cute, I always feel bad for the future kid who discovers that it wasn't true and it was all an elaborate, if lovingly-meant, hoax. I was gutted when I discovered the was no tooth fairy.

How is it any worse than Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny or, for that matter, any particular deity?

[LeeC]

Contains images or swords and a gun

(click to show/hide)

Katana swinging down on a longsword


Longsword swinging down on a long sword


moral of the story, swords are crap and expensive.   

I haven't seen despicable me 2 yet but wow
http://imgur.com/gallery/jIk1I

[Blue Kitty]

on Swords

The vaunted differences between the katana and the longsword are largely myth.

First off: longswords are nowhere near as heavy as everyone thinks they are, the weight difference between an average longsword and an average katana is very slight.

Second: Longswords are not just random hack and slash weapons. THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS JUST RANDOM HACK AND SLASH WEAPONS EVERY WEAPON IN THE WORLD REQUIRES SKILL AND FINESSE! To use a longsword requires precision and training and skill. If you think the longsword requires no skill I suggest you try fighting a master, or go read The Flower of Battle by Fiore dei Liberi.

Third: The structural differences between a katana and a longsword make little to no functional difference.
The reason the katana is so narrow and has a slight curve has nothing to do with functionality and EVERYTHING to do with iron being very rare in Japan.
The curve on a katana is only enough to help increase the cutting length while using the minimum of material.
The differences between Katana technique and longsword technique are about as large as the differences between Italian longsword technique and German longsword technique.
Because there’s only so much you can do with a long sharp piece of metal.

Fourth: The Katana did not evolve. They came up with one design and never changed it for thousands of years, not once. The design process of the longsword is well documented, it went through thousands of permutations and redesigns to make it more efficient, more useful and more adaptable.

Fifth: Longsowrds took a fuckton of work and preparation. Ok, I’m about to burst your bubble here, but bear with me because you’re going to learn something.
When the Japanese developed their folded steel technique it was in response to the fact that their iron ore was not only rare, it was also so full of impurities it was brittle and pretty awful at being a weapon.
All the Japanese folded steel technique really did was bring their steel up to the quality that was standard in most European steel.
Why do I say Japanese folded steel?
BECAUSE THE REST OF THE WORLD HAD ALREADY GOTTEN THERE ABOUT A THOUSAND YEARS BEFOREHAND!
Japanese Folded Steel is primitive compared to some of the shit we were producing for weapons at the same time in Europe.
And do you want to know who the masters of that were? THE FUCKING VIKINGS!
Japanese folded steel involves hammering one piece of steel into a fucking sandwhich over and over and over again.
Viking folded steel involves taking separate rods of Iron (For a flexible core) and Steel (for a hard edge) AND FUCKING BRAIDING THEM TOGETHER! LITERALLY BRAIDING TWO DIFFERENT KINDS OF METAL IN THREE OR MORE PIECES TOGETHER AND THEN HAMMERING THAT INTO A SWORD! JUST TRY AND TELL ME THAT’S NOT THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING YOU’VE EVER HEARD!

Sixth: The Katana was a backup weapon. It was literally the last resort. It got a lot of reverence in bushido because of how pretty it was and for no other reason. But the chief weapon of the samurai was actually their Kyu (longbow) followed by their Naginata (A spear, which was essentially like a katana on a stick and WAY more effective) or their Tetsu bo (A big conical wooden club covered in iron studs) and then if none of that worked then they would use the katana.

Seventh: The function of a longsword depends on the historical period you’re thinking of. In the 15th century and onward they were for dealing with plate armour and their design changed to reflect that.
But they existed long before then and had many different functions, people of each period tailoring them for their specific needs.

Eighth: Swords are expensive. Doesn’t matter what period or country you’re in a sword is a LOT of metal and metal is ALWAYS expensive.
In almost every culture spears and axes were FAR more common than swords.
This caused a widespread phenomenon that historians/archaeologists/folklorists refer to as “the cult of the sword” where the rarity and beauty of swords causes them to become an object of reverence.
Almost every culture that developed swords also developed a weird spiritual reverence for them. The cult of the sword died off FAR later in Japan than it did in Europe which is why katanas have so much reverence and mythology attached to them even into the modern age.

Ninth: Stop idealising other cultures because they’re over there.

[Barmymoo]

Whilst I think stuff like that is adorable and really cute, I always feel bad for the future kid who discovers that it wasn't true and it was all an elaborate, if lovingly-meant, hoax. I was gutted when I discovered the was no tooth fairy.

How is it any worse than Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny or, for that matter, any particular deity?

No worse - we never did the Easter Bunny in my family, but I was also disappointed that there's no Father Christmas. As for deities, if the parents believe in that deity then it's not dishonest of them to teach their children about it/them (although I think they should also be honest about the fact that many people don't believe, and allow them to make their own mind up). You can enjoy the story of Father Christmas etc without pretending he's real.

[LeeC]

@Blue kitty: if anything my post was about stop idolizing swords period. Go Indy!

[GarandMarine]

THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS JUST RANDOM HACK AND SLASH WEAPONS EVERY WEAPON IN THE WORLD REQUIRES SKILL AND FINESSE! To use a longsword requires precision and training and skill

I actually disagree with this statement on some level. Cutlasses and Machetes can be pretty efficiently used with minimal skill and training. The Marine Corps cutlass manual circa the mid 1800s suggested a day to teach new recruits the basic drills and cuts, then work it in to regular bayonet practice.

[Stryc9Fuego]

I love how that scene was originally supposed to be this fencing thing between Indy with his whip and the swordsman blocking whip strikes and advancing, and because Harrison Ford had the shits, they reworked it to just shooting him. That's just glorious.

[Method of Madness]

There's no proof that Santa doesn't exist.

[GarandMarine]

I thought Ford improv'ed it?

Also NORAD tracks Santa on their air defense radars every year. Proof positive bitches.

[LeeC]

I love how that scene was originally supposed to be this fencing thing between Indy with his whip and the swordsman blocking whip strikes and advancing, and because Harrison Ford had the shits, they reworked it to just shooting him. That's just glorious.

actually he just did it on a whim, the swordsman acted along with it (for laughs) and the directors ended up keeping it, felt it was more tuned to how the character would react...much to the dismay of the swordsman who was exited to have his own long scene in a movie.

[GarandMarine]

Albeit no one will forget the swordsman still to this day. So he kinda cemented himself a place in cinema history.

[Method of Madness]

I thought Ford improv'ed it?

They probably have some of the major details right by pure luck, along with plenty wrong, but that doesn't mean that he isn't real.

[Barmymoo]

There's no proof that Santa doesn't exist.

Not talking about whether or not Santa exists... I'm talking about whether or not the parents believe he does. I don't think it's dishonest to tell your child that something exists if you truly believe that it does, only if you know it doesn't but are trying to get them to believe in it.

[Method of Madness]

They once did.

[GarandMarine]

I thought Ford improv'ed it?

They probably have some of the major details right by pure luck, along with plenty wrong, but that doesn't mean that he isn't real.

What? I was talking about the "Indy shoots the swordsman scene" from Raiders of the Lost Ark

[Barmymoo]

And now they know better, and they're still deceiving the child! It is illogical to teach children that they shouldn't lie and then systematically lie to them for years.

[Method of Madness]

Right, GM, ignore my response, ha. Yeah, Ford did improv it.

And May, you're right. It bugs me too, when you put it like that. It's like when parents tell kids that hitting is bad, and then have no problem spanking.

[jwhouk]

I think someone confused Harrison Ford for Santa...

And yes, Santa is real. But he died a long time ago. (Saint Nicholas.)

[Method of Madness]

I actually confused Harrison Ford for Ford Motor Company (like he was saying Ford made up Santa as a marketing gimmick).

Saint Nicholas didn't die, he just moved north and hid.

[Barmymoo]

I think my approach will be similar to the one in the blog post I linked; to tell my children about Saint Nicholas and how the story about him has morphed into Santa, discuss the traditions (not just the UK ones but other countries too), and warn them not to ruin the game for other children.

[BeoPuppy]

[LTK]

I think my approach will be similar to the one in the blog post I linked; to tell my children about Saint Nicholas and how the story about him has morphed into Santa, discuss the traditions (not just the UK ones but other countries too), and warn them not to ruin the game for other children.

It's just an annual nation-wide theater play. There's no reason it can't be just as fun if the children know that as well.

[Barmymoo]

Precisely - kids love imaginative play, the fact that they know it isn't real doesn't ruin it at all. Thinking it is then finding out it isn't does though.

[Blue Kitty]

@Blue kitty: if anything my post was about stop idolizing swords period. Go Indy!

Mine was from a post on tumblr someone made in response to another post responding to the gif

And that is what happens when a masterfully crafted scalpel collides with a masterfully crafted guillotine.

Does nobody understand that longswords and katanas are two different kinds of tool?Longswords are essentially sharpened fucksticks designed to destroy the shit out of anything resembling armor that comes their way. They shatter bone, jelly flesh, and essentially fuck people up by sheer inexorable force of being a goddamn sharp steel bar.

Katanas don’t do that.They’re not meant to withstand collision with armor or a brick wall or a charging fully outfitted warhorsebecause the circumstances of its development didn’t call for that. It’s a precision instrument. It’s designed to be lightweight, outmaneuver, and find weak spots, not go barreling into people hack-n-slashing your way to victory. It’s a specialized tool.

In a sense this reflects a core difference between cultures; katanas are a shitton of work and preparation to make the execution as efficient and streamlined as possible, while longswords are more durably and simply made in response to a climate that would require a soldier to be a one-man battering ram in battle.

[GarandMarine]

I think someone confused Harrison Ford for Santa...

And yes, Santa is real. But he died a long time ago. (Saint Nicholas.)

Santa is real, but as we have noted else where, Santa is Odin All Father.

[LeeC]

[Is it cold in here?]

Did European swordsmiths also do the trick with frozen-in stresses in the blade to put the edge under compression and thus allow a more brittle steel there than would normally be functional?

[Blue Kitty]

[LeeC]

the horse one is the best

[LTK]

Right, GM, ignore my response, ha. Yeah, Ford did improv it.

Wait, if he improvised it, why was the gun already loaded with blanks?

[Akima]

on Swords

For obvious reasons, I am no fan of katana-fetishisation, and I know nothing much about European swords or swordsmanship, but the credibility of the passage you quoted is blown out of the water, piled up on shore, dried out and burned to ashes by this piece of ahistorical drivel:

Fourth: The Katana did not evolve. They came up with one design and never changed it for thousands of years, not once. The design process of the longsword is well documented, it went through thousands of permutations and redesigns to make it more efficient, more useful and more adaptable.

Not all Japanese swords are katana. Not even all Japanese swords that look like katana, to the untutored fanboy eye, are katana. The katana was a fairly late development in Japanese sword design, not "thousands of years" old, and its design varied over time in response to its very busy users' needs. Essentially the quoted passage is simply the mirror-image of ignorant katana fetishisation.

Ninth: Stop idealising other cultures because they’re over there.

Because it is much better to piss on other cultures without taking the trouble to learn about them, right?

[LeeC]

Right, GM, ignore my response, ha. Yeah, Ford did improv it.

Wait, if he improvised it, why was the gun already loaded with blanks?

for other scenes probably they were to shoot in the day, no pun intended


____________________________
what Akima said.


though I think 9th is more directed to the untutored fanboys who love and spout "facts" about stuff they do not really know and claim to be experts.

______________

[Welu]

I'm more concerned with, "Aunt Bonnie's Dead Friend Sarah's Squares"?

[The Seldom Killer]

That passage is a bit hack and slash.

For a very, very brief introduction into the history and construction of swords by the Japanese, you could do worse than to read the relevant Wikipedia article on the subject. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japanese_sword And if you are going to fetishise something, at least have the decency to do it with at least some scholarly approach.

I've always enjoyed the hardware side of military history, but it's silly to obsess about a katana because it's pretty and supposed to be fuck off sharp. You should be taking it in context of the other arms and armours of the region/era that it was being used in because that tells us so much more about the way we used to fight each other. That sort of thing should be far more interesting.

[Blue Kitty]

Who's getting murdered in Patek Philippe ads