Not that image again. Fuck I hate this image. (the sad Poke'mon image)
A. If you were raising your Eevee as an Umbreon and didn't get it... you kinda suck at this whole Poke'mon thing. The paths for the various Eeveelutions are pretty clearly laid out, and I can't imagine it's any different for the cute lil'pink bow critter in that picture. (Seriously. What is it? I mean I'm guessing it's an Eeveelution, but I haven't played since freaking Gold guys holy crap).
B. Accepting a world where Poke'mon are real, being a sentient domestic life form that commonly engages in very strong lifelong bonds with human beings, pulling shit like the above would make you one of the lowest known forms of human life. Same deal goes for domestic pets here in the real world, it's just a personal feeling, but I'd be okay if people like that could be hunted for sport. I'd probably apply for tags. Except for Michael Vick. Shooting's too good for him
C. As a regular Poke'mon player, and a manly man, there's really only one solution here, I am going to find out what generation that pink bow critter belongs too, what game I can get it in, then get that game SPECFICIALLY so I can evolve one, train it, and proceed to stomp the shit out of haters with it's help.*
D. Seriously. Who could yell at that? It's so FUCKING CUTE. Thor's beard the pink bow critter** is adorable. It's like a living plush toy that just wants to love you. And crush your enemies. Which is pretty metal. Snuggles and enemy crushing. I am DOWN.
It demands belly rubs*Assuming said game is available for the DS, I am not opening to upgrading to a 3DS at this time.
**I am reliably informed the pink bow critter is a Slyveon. Or something like that.
Holy crap why can't Poke'mon be the real world T_T no matter how many worlds and fandoms I explore, that one seems like the best you can find. In general people are pretty not suck. You're encouraged to drop out of school and go on adventures (or stay in school and adventure on the weekends, I'm sure that's an option) and you have the option of meeting, befriending and otherwise interacting with 700+ sentient and highly intelligent unique life forms, all of which you can easily take with you on adventures and experiences in strange new places.
What ISN'T awesome about that? Sure you can do similar stuff by getting in to dog sledding at an early age, but do your Siberian Huskies breath fire? I think not.
This rant brought to you by the little boy who wrote "a Vulpix" on his Christmas list something like six years in a row before finally giving up. (A dog would have been fine! but no dice on that either.)