Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

Yes, quite

Indeed

[KOK]

"Shipping" means suggesting relationships. So if I were to say e.g.:"It would be interesting to see how Winslow and Samantha would interact", I would be shipping?

[Mlle Germain]

About today's and yesterday's comic: All these premature assumptions by the other characters about how far Dale's and Marigold's relationship has progressed or will progress soon makes me fear that that this will somehow cause it to go wrong. I mean, maybe they would have preferred just to become friends without any external presure and that can be made practically impossible by other people interfering and infering more about the relationship than there is to it at this point. I guess the group has a bit of a history of enquiring into the relationships of their friends, but since Marigold and Dale are so insecure, I wish they would hold back a little.

[Zebediah]

"Shipping" means suggesting relationships. So if I were to say e.g.:"It would be interesting to see how Winslow and Samantha would interact", I would be shipping?

"Shipping" as it is commonly used refers to romantic or sexual relationships specifically.

[kyomi]

How'd you even know to check? Now I've seen Friday's comic, but not Thursday's. I guess if you want to talk about it use spoiler tags.

(click to show/hide)

Apparently we'll find out that Dale's a virgin. Also Faye and Dora are kind of shitty.

Hehe, called it

[YourEvilExGirlfriend]

About today's and yesterday's comic: All these premature assumptions by the other characters about how far Dale's and Marigold's relationship has progressed or will progress soon makes me fear that that this will somehow cause it to go wrong. I mean, maybe they would have preferred just to become friends without any external presure and that can be made practically impossible by other people interfering and infering more about the relationship than there is to it at this point. I guess the group has a bit of a history of enquiring into the relationships of their friends, but since Marigold and Dale are so insecure, I wish they would hold back a little.

I can see where you're coming from and I second this.

[toffee-skye]

About today's and yesterday's comic: All these premature assumptions by the other characters about how far Dale's and Marigold's relationship has progressed or will progress soon makes me fear that that this will somehow cause it to go wrong. I mean, maybe they would have preferred just to become friends without any external presure and that can be made practically impossible by other people interfering and infering more about the relationship than there is to it at this point. I guess the group has a bit of a history of enquiring into the relationships of their friends, but since Marigold and Dale are so insecure, I wish they would hold back a little.

I can see where you're coming from and I second this.

thirded. this whole arc is making me uncomfortable, like when Momo made Marigold scoot up, i cringed so much.

[Midwesterner]

^^^Fourthly. Between the assumptions by the other characters, and the whole air of "when are they going to do it?", this thread feels like something that is very rare on QC: this arc feels heavy handed and out of character.

I hope we get back to coffee shop dynamics again soon. Tai and Dora's snarky cameo are the best part of this arc.

[GarandMarine]

About today's and yesterday's comic: All these premature assumptions by the other characters about how far Dale's and Marigold's relationship has progressed or will progress soon makes me fear that that this will somehow cause it to go wrong. I mean, maybe they would have preferred just to become friends without any external presure and that can be made practically impossible by other people interfering and infering more about the relationship than there is to it at this point. I guess the group has a bit of a history of enquiring into the relationships of their friends, but since Marigold and Dale are so insecure, I wish they would hold back a little.

I can see where you're coming from and I second this.

thirded. this whole arc is making me uncomfortable, like when Momo made Marigold scoot up, i cringed so much.

So Momo should just stand then? I get that she's a robot but if there's room on the couch there's room on the couch. That's not very AI friendly.

[DSL]

The signal was sent when he said that they didn't have sex, and they didn't stop.

Hm. In my interactions with people, I usually have to send multiple signals "in the clear."
I been around a lot of people who can't take a hint, is what I'm saying.

[westrim]

The signal was sent when he said that they didn't have sex, and they didn't stop.

Hm. In my interactions with people, I usually have to send multiple signals "in the clear."
I been around a lot of people who can't take a hint, is what I'm saying.

I don't understand, can you be more specific? 

[Kugai]

So it would appear that Dale and Marigold are the stereotypical geeky nerd virgins we all thought they were.


This will either be the beginning of a beautiful relationship

Or a disaster of Titanic proportions.

[Method of Madness]

Except of course for, y'know, sexism.

Right. That's a pretty big reason.

How'd you even know to check? Now I've seen Friday's comic, but not Thursday's. I guess if you want to talk about it use spoiler tags.

(click to show/hide)

Apparently we'll find out that Dale's a virgin. Also Faye and Dora are kind of shitty.

Hehe, called it

Ha, I'd take credit for "calling it", but I'd actually seen the comic when I posted that. (He accidentally posted it when he posted Wednesday's, you just had to type in the right URL). Ya probably knew that, hence the , but I figure I'd clarify for those watching at home.

[YourEvilExGirlfriend]

^^^Fourthly. Between the assumptions by the other characters, and the whole air of "when are they going to do it?", this thread feels like something that is very rare on QC: this arc feels heavy handed and out of character.

I hope we get back to coffee shop dynamics again soon. Tai and Dora's snarky cameo are the best part of this arc.

It doesn't feel out of character to me. Members of the QC cast can and do screw up royally and this whole arc feels like  it may  be used to showcase the potential pitfalls of getting too hyper-involved in your friends' lives. Clearly, Faye, Marten, Hannelore and Momo (and whoever else has shown their support of this particular romance) have the best intentions. Marigold frequently puts herself down; a good portion of her comic appearances have her vocalizing her insecurities about being an unattractive shut-in and wishing she had a boyfriend (or at least a date).  This is not lost on her friends and they want her to be happy and they think getting her a boyfriend will make her happy. The entire gang is like a big family and they love to help and support each other.

Unfortunately, in this case, their enthusiasm to help Marigold may blind them to the fact that some matters require a little more delicacy and that as much as people want to achieve their goals/desires,  it's better if they figure stuff out on their own. Especially when it comes to sex and relationships. A little bit of encouragement is sometimes necessary-- especially for someone who has trouble getting themselves started on goal-- but outright hand-holding and sneaky scheming crosses into some serious meddling territory.

Like I said before, I hope that the gang keeps their support of the relationship casual and in the background. Maybe suggest a group date without shining the spotlight on any couple. What those two shy kids need is just a chill, no-pressure evening to get comfortable with one another and get to know each other better.  This whole, "so, when are you going to bang?" business  can only make things worse (though I imagine that may be the point! )

[Midwesterner]

^^^Fourthly. Between the assumptions by the other characters, and the whole air of "when are they going to do it?", this thread feels like something that is very rare on QC: this arc feels heavy handed and out of character.

I hope we get back to coffee shop dynamics again soon. Tai and Dora's snarky cameo are the best part of this arc.

It doesn't feel out of character to me. Members of the QC cast can and do screw up royally and this whole arc feels like  it may  be used to showcase the potential pitfalls of getting too hyper-involved in your friends' lives.

I see what you're saying; what I'm getting at is that I'm dismayed that none of the "observing characters" (Marten, Faye, Dora, Momo,  etc.) has yet had the thought on whether they're being too heavy handed with a very awkward couple. Their interest in Dale and Marigold seems oddly voyeuristic to me.

Although part of my discomfort with this arc is that Marigold is probably my least favorite character, so I realize I'm already disposed to dislike this arc.

[Sidhekin]

"Their interest in Dale and Marigold" recalls to me "their interest" in Dora and Tai.  Same shit.  Dora got annoyed and called them on it.  Dale is mellow.

[Is it cold in here?]

I think a lot of us here have been Marigolds.

Absolutely, people shouldn't pressure them. It's intrusive, rude, and reinforces a bad feature of their culture. Romantic partners are not sex toys, or at least they shouldn't be. Getting physical should be allowed to develop in its own time. Which, at their age, will probably be soon enough to distort the relationship anyway.

[YourEvilExGirlfriend]

^^^Fourthly. Between the assumptions by the other characters, and the whole air of "when are they going to do it?", this thread feels like something that is very rare on QC: this arc feels heavy handed and out of character.

I hope we get back to coffee shop dynamics again soon. Tai and Dora's snarky cameo are the best part of this arc.

It doesn't feel out of character to me. Members of the QC cast can and do screw up royally and this whole arc feels like  it may  be used to showcase the potential pitfalls of getting too hyper-involved in your friends' lives.

I see what you're saying; what I'm getting at is that I'm dismayed that none of the "observing characters" (Marten, Faye, Dora, Momo,  etc.) has yet had the thought on whether they're being too heavy handed with a very awkward couple. Their interest in Dale and Marigold seems oddly voyeuristic to me.

And I would agree with you that their involvement does seem a bit voyeuristic and I share your discomfort in that fact. However, it doesn't at all surprise me that they haven't considered whether they're being heavy-handed or not since most people judge themselves by their intentions, not their behavior. And since they all share the same excitement/goal for Marigold, it's not all the unusual that they'd be blind to it. It's very easy to get caught up in groupthink and  excitement and miss the redflags. Ask any family planning a wedding or your typical project team at work-- or any political club on campus.  My hope is that an less involved party might make comment about it  and the group will back off (perhaps someone like Emily might drive the point home that they've missed the obvious).

Also, we wouldn't have conflict (or much of a story) if all the characters were that self-aware.

Although part of my discomfort with this arc is that Marigold is probably my least favorite character, so I realize I'm already disposed to dislike this arc.

That's fair enough. I have a hard time enjoying arcs about my least favourite characters too. As much as it pleases me that there's at least some transgender representation in the comic, I can't say I'm particularly fond of Claire or the interns as far as the 'core' group goes... though my least favourite has to be Jim's daughter, Samantha. I'm relieved she hasn't been around lately.

[steveb]

And I would agree with you that their involvement does seem a bit voyeuristic and I share your discomfort in that fact. However, it doesn't at all surprise me that they haven't considered whether they're being heavy-handed or not since most people judge themselves by their intentions, not their behavior. And since they all share the same excitement/goal for Marigold, it's not all the unusual that they'd be blind to it. It's very easy to get caught up in groupthink and  excitement and miss the redflags. Ask any family planning a wedding or your typical project team at work-- or any political club on campus.  My hope is that an less involved party might make comment about it  and the group will back off (perhaps someone like Emily might drive the point home that they've missed the obvious).

Also, we wouldn't have conflict (or much of a story) if all the characters were that self-aware.

I'm not sure the characters are being as heavy handed as it seems to us the readers who see everything. Momo and Marten were certainly taking an interest but not in the presence of the people concerned. Not necessarily a good thing but certainly not heavy handed.
Faye certainly put her foot in it (in character for Faye) but you could read the subsequent involvement of Dora as an attempt to help Faye step back from that particular precipice. Up to the point where Dale starts to try and pretend that he is something he is not.
From my time in his shoes I think that kind of pretense might be the worst thing he can do so they may be right to call him on that one.

[DSL]

I thought GarandMarine made a good point upthread about the culture of excessive sharing. Seems as though folks feel compelled to "share" every damn detail, right through squick territory without breaking stride, and are offended if you don't want to know the gory details. Could be Dora (who isn't really prying), Faye (who is) and even Dale might think nothing of the level of sharing that has some of us (including me) looking askance.

Man, in my day, TMI meant Three Mile Island.

[Kugai]

And there's fallout in both cases.   

[Storel]

Man, in my day, TMI meant Three Mile Island.

For some reason, that reminded me of this strip. 

[LookingIn]

To be honest this entire arc has been in line with the characters' personalities right down to the cringing and awkwardness and unintentional offensiveness.

Dale and Marigold had chemistry, shared common interests, and were too shy to do anything without prompting lest they offend the other.
Faye loves to play around with everyone, she teased him and didn't believe him but she did it as only a friend would. He was being Fayed, with her not knowing the truth but jumping to conclusions based on how pleased Marigold looked when she came in.
Dora was being nice and reassuring, without knowing the facts. She has shown her tender side towards people many times when they are getting Fayed.
Momo prompting them to get closer to break the ice is right in line with her forcing Marigold to do things she needed to do but was either too lazy or too shy to do.
Marten doesn't have a strong interest in the romance, he's isn't a direct friend of Marigold IMO so he is being Momo's confidant rather than having an active interest in the Dale/Marigold situation.

[Tulpa]

So Faye thought Marigold was doing a booty dance?
It looked nothing like this booty dance.

[Rghfrgl]

For some reason, that reminded me of this strip. 

It's funny; I always think "The art in QC developed fast early on, but it settled down a few years ago." Then someone posts a link like that one (which was way after I started reading it daily) ... and all the characters in it look weird...

That's probably when it looked best honestly.

[Method of Madness]

Agreed. I'm not a fan of how Faye's drawn now compared to those days.

[cesariojpn]

Question: Wouldn't Faye's line of answering be considered sexual harassment? Asking someone's sexual history isn't kosher.....

[Sidhekin]

She wasn't asking.  She didn't need to ...

[GarandMarine]

Sidhekin, I know your SN refers to the Sidhe... aka the Fae, intentional QC pun or no?

[Sidhekin]

Screen Name?  I'm unaware of a pun there.  (Faekin' perhaps?  Bit of a stretch, innit?)

(The pun in the signature is intentional, and arguably with questionable content.  Unrelated to Questionable Content, though.)

[KOK]

Is Fae one of the faye?

[jwhouk]

I think that's a different webcomic altogether.

(Fey Winds, for those that don't get it. )

[RightInTheSquishyParts]

Question: Wouldn't Faye's line of answering be considered sexual harassment? Asking someone's sexual history isn't kosher.....

No it isn't,  yet it is still a grey area even within HR circles.  Most employers don't bother to think on these situations... they depend on the tried-and-true "rocks fall, someone gets fired" method of investigation.  More than usually, all I have to do is say "Bob was harassing me, this is what he said" and out the door goes Bob.   

It's an enormously complex situation full of misunderstanding and wide open to abuse.

Now in a situation like this,  with a social circle of friends and almost-friends...  It's apparently tolerated by everyone.    Now if (for example) Claire was to complain,  THEN Dora would have to crack down.

Best advice I can give is to just not discuss sexual topics at work and avoid innuendo of any sort until/unless you are sure everyone in your group can handle it.


Oh yeah, and OMFGLOLBBQ FIRST POST WOOT

[Sidhekin]

Is Fae one of the faye?

Ah, got it.  And no: I was using the "Sidhekin" handle eight years before Jeph even started this comic.  In the long form, "Geirr, Banshee's kin", ten years.

ETA: Even my avatar is getting on in age.  When I drew, scanned, and coloured it, 119 was the latest QC ...

[Is it cold in here?]

Welcome, new person!

I think Coffee of Doom's HR bureaucracy will let Faye get away with it.

[Method of Madness]

I'm not sure if I made it clear before, but it's the look they give him when he asks that pissed me off the most. The look that said "because of course you are."

[Near Lurker]

Now in a situation like this,  with a social circle of friends and almost-friends...  It's apparently tolerated by everyone.    Now if (for example) Claire was to complain,  THEN Dora would have to crack down.

...Claire?  Do you mean Cosette?  Because Claire doesn't work there...

(Neither of them, however Faye might want it.)

[LookingIn]

I'm not sure if I made it clear before, but it's the look they give him when he asks that pissed me off the most. The look that said "because of course you are."

I can see how that would be uncalled for by them, but you have to admit it isn't a leap of faith for them to make the assumption...even if it's crappy to do.

[RightInTheSquishyParts]

Now in a situation like this,  with a social circle of friends and almost-friends...  It's apparently tolerated by everyone.    Now if (for example) Claire was to complain,  THEN Dora would have to crack down.

...Claire?  Do you mean Cosette?  Because Claire doesn't work there...

(Neither of them, however Faye might want it.)

Thank you,  Cossette.   

But that also brings up the murky waters of external complaints -- if a customer or outside-services contractor or even someone PASSING BY complains...  yeah it's a thing and it gets complex fast!

[Method of Madness]

you have to admit it isn't a leap of faith for them to make the assumption...even if it's crappy to do.

I admit no such thing.

[westrim]

I feel like I have substantial data to add to this conversation.

As I have mentioned in previous threads, I'm a virgin, and probably about the same age as Dale. A major portion of the reason I still have that status (read: haven't pursued relationships) is fear- and one of my biggest fears is accidentally harassing someone. Worrying I may have said something harassing. Not asking what I want to ask because it may be harassing. Censoring myself to avoid harassment. Staying distant, physically and emotionally from women I feel affection for and wish to be closer with because they may feel harassed. Generally, any time I found that I was attracted to someone, I shut it down and did my best to carry on as normal. If they were a friend, you could say that I friendzoned myself. The one time so far I did actually engage in a relationship, I was too worried about causing offense to her or others to do much more than sit next to her in public, and we broke up within two months due to our mutual awkwardness.

As I type this, I am in a position of having become attracted to someone I have known and been friends with for about 8 months, 6 as a coworker, drawing down my interaction with her to barely nodding in the hallway about a month ago, then in the last two weeks trying to normalize my relationship with her while trying to figure out how to admit to her that I feel attracted, and it's okay if she isn't, but if she is then maybe we could grab something to eat and chat? But maybe it's too late, I missed my window or that drawdown alienated her. Maybe it will offend her and the best possibility under that option is the hallway nodding again. Maybe she'll feel harassed and I lose my job just for being honest once and asking for a date. Maybe maybe maybe. I know this isn't normal. I know that my manager got married to one of the women in my section just as I started working there (the object of my affection works in a different section). I know all of my coworkers think well of me. I know that it will almost certainly be okay if I ask, whatever her response. But maybe I'll wait one more day.

A couple years ago I did know a person who was arrested for sexual harassment, held for 48 hours, and later convicted and sentenced to probation with an ankle monitor. He was roughhousing with a mutual and platonic female friend, which included holding her in the air by the hips (she wore jeans) while she laughed and demanded to be let down. As this was in a public space, a passerby was offended and asked a nearby officer to arrest him.

Now, as far as Faye and Dora go, I note several things. Harassment is a nearly totally subjective phenomenon. Debating whether their behavior is harassing and how much so is irrelevant in the face of that. If Dale does not feel harassed, and no one else who notices feels harassed, then there was no harassment, period. We see empty chairs, and he is just entering, which implies they may not be open yet. Even if they were, the demographics of their clientele reduce the likelihood of anyone feeling harassed. Faye and Dora have both said worse things concerning sex when actively serving multiple times in the past. As to whether Dale does in fact feel harassed, the only line that might indicate so is his denial of sexy times, which I read as a "no we didn't" not "no we didn't, and stop asking". The next two things he says engage in their line of inquiry rather than opposing it.

I suppose the real question is whether Jeph feels that any of this is harassing, and he apparently does not. He tries to avoid offense, therefore he apparently does not believe that this is offensive.

As for assumptions of virginity, I'm usually up front about my status, though I don't just throw it out there. Someone assuming I am doesn't really track as offensive, any more than assuming that I have never played lacrosse. The worst I've ever felt is indignant, which is about how Dale acts.

So that's a bit large and personal block of text. Screw it. *posts*

[Method of Madness]

Jeph may not intend for it to be harassment, but that doesn't mean that it isn't. Intent matters, but it is not everything.

You shouldn't be ashamed of being a virgin. I never was. The only reason I would get annoyed if someone assumed (correctly at the time) that I was is because of the assumptions that usually go along with that. The assumptions about me as a person. So if someone I don't know well makes the assumption that I am out of nowhere, that's probably not all they've assumed.

[NotAwesomeAnymore]

But Dale is friends with Dora and Faye, not some random new employee. He's one of their favourite customers, secret menu and all, so he definitely knew what he was getting into working for them. And I totally have these sorts of conversations with my friends.

The look Dora and Faye give Dale in the last panel I interpret as the "don't try bullshit, we know you" face. I know people have interpreted this comic as a major violation of privacy, but in all the conversations I've had with nervous virgins, they're always really relieved that a) someone finally brought it up without it being awkward and b) I wasn't judgmental or uncomfortable while listening to them. Dora and Faye may sass him, but you know they're not judging.

[LookingIn]

you have to admit it isn't a leap of faith for them to make the assumption...even if it's crappy to do.

I admit no such thing.

You don't have to admit it then, but is it at least possible that she would be inclined to fall for the stereotypes about nerdy guys?

[Method of Madness]

I wouldn't think Faye or Dora the type to give stereotypes any consideration.

[LookingIn]

I wouldn't think Faye or Dora the type to give stereotypes any consideration.

This might be one of those unintended stereotypes. One of those assumptions that is made without any thought. They didn't mean to stereotype him as the typical virgin guy but they did.

[Is it cold in here?]

They've joked about the stereotype anyway.

[Tulpa]

D&D is much funner played with girls as well. And finding girls to play hasn't been that hard, in my experience. Yet the stereotype persists.

[Is it cold in here?]

Has "A gentleman does not discuss these matters" disappeared totally from the culture?

[GarandMarine]

Kiss and tell seems to be the norm for most people.

[Akima]

Best advice I can give is to just not discuss sexual topics at work and avoid innuendo of any sort until/unless you are sure everyone in your group can handle it.

Fixed that for you. Work is not the place, working hours are not the time, and it is not up to anyone to "handle" innuendo.