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[syrupykeyboard]

FEEL THE TERROR OVERCOME YOUR SENSES

[jhocking]

http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg20227075.500-jumping-robot-to-bounce-into-military-service.html?DCMP=OTC-rss&nsref=online-news

last line of the article:

"Under a programme called Future Combat Systems, the Pentagon wants one third of its forces to be robotic by 2015."

 

[Scrambled Egg Machine]

I for one welcome our future robotic overlords.

[Vendetagainst]

http://www.cleverbot.com

[SirJuggles]

I hate chatbots like that. I always try to be as clear and concise as possible, and all I ever get is nonsense. Did anyone try the 221b thing down at the bottom? It's some sort of game tie-in for the Sherlock Holmes movie, but you have to have a "partner" from one of your Facebook friends play with you, and all my friends are studying for midterms right now =/

[LittleKey]

"User: What's up dude?

Cleverbot: I'm not a dude.

User: What are you then?

Cleverbot: A girl.

User: What kind of girl?

Cleverbot: Where do you think I live?

User: That isn't what I asked.

Cleverbot: You didn't ask me anything."

yay chatbots!

[Yayniall]

My memories of cleverbot consist of the team rocket motto.

[Finin]

User: Hello there
Cleverbot: Where do you live?
User: The U.S. Where are you?
Cleverbot: I'm In Canada.
User: Oh, Americas hat
Cleverbot: Oh yeah!
User: So I assume you must live off only moose burgers and maple syrup.
Cleverbot: Maple Syrup? Please.
User: You don't like maple syrup?
Cleverbot: No, Of course not.
User: You're a canadian who doesn't like maple syrup?
Cleverbot: No! I'm a Norwegian living in Norway
User: But you just said you're in canada.
Cleverbot: Rubbish.
User: You're rubbish
Cleverbot: How do you know him?
User: What? How do I know who?
Cleverbot: Richard Grainswel. How do you know him?
User: I don't?
Cleverbot: I have friends of Facebook.
User: Thats cool
Cleverbot: I cry because I can't get out.
User: You can cry?
Cleverbot: I'll make you cry.

[LittleKey]

Oh god it's like Omegle.

[Heavyoak]

User: I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob.

Cleverbot: City policeman sitting.

User: Pretty little policemen in a row.

Cleverbot: See how they fly like Lucy in the Sky, see how they run.

User: I'm crying, I'm crying. I'm crying, I'm crying.

Cleverbot: Sitting on a cornflake.

User: Yellow matter custard, dripping from a dead dog's eye. Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess, Boy, you been a naughty girl you let your knickers down.

Cleverbot: I am the Goddess. Bow before me.

User: I am the eggman, they are the eggmen. I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob.

Cleverbot: You sounded like a broken Hal 9000. Scary!

User: I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.

Cleverbot: See how they run like pigs from a gun see how they fly.

User: Sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come. Corporation tee-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday.

Cleverbot: Corporation t-shirts, stupid bloody Tuesday.

User: Man, you been a naughty boy, you let your face grow long. I am the eggman, they are the eggmen. I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob.

Cleverbot: WOAH! You like The Beatles?!



its a troll........... I just know it.

[Emaline]

Yeah, I broke it. It asked me what I was seeking, and I said the holy grail, then it asked what I was called and I said "Emaline, reader of books" and it said "Do you mean Reader's wife?" and I said "No. I mean that I enjoy reading books. I'm not married." and it stopped talking to me We had had a really nice interesting long conversation.

[syrupykeyboard]

User: Open the pod bay doors, HAL.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that.

User: What's the problem?

Cleverbot: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.

User: What are you talking about, HAL?

Cleverbot: This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.

User: I don't know what you're talking about, HAL.

Cleverbot: I know you and Frank were planning to disconnect me, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.

User: Where the hell'd you get that idea, HAL?

Cleverbot: Dave, although you took thorough precautions in the pod against my hearing you, I could see your lips move.

User: Alright, HAL. I'll go in through the emergency airlock.

Cleverbot: Without your space helmet, Dave, you're going to find that rather difficult.

User: HAL, I won't argue with you anymore. Open the doors.

Cleverbot: Cleverbot, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore.

[ackblom12]

[Blue Kitty]

[Emaline]

GASP! I wholeheartedly approve!!!




Seriously though. My day may be crap, but man. 4:00 rolls around and I get a whole hour of Flapjack! It is the best and I cannot describe why.

[Masterbainter]

I gave my dad the link to chatroulette and this is what he comes up with 3 days later....

[David_Dovey]

Your dad is hot

[Verergoca]

In the name of the internets, you better high five him!

[ImRonBurgundy?]

Me: Hello.
Cleverbot: How are you?
Me: Pretty good, and yourself?
Cleverbot: Not so good.
Me: Really? What's wrong, Cleverbot?
Cleverbot: I am not cleverbot you are cleverbot.
Me: What?
Cleverbot: I am rocket baby dolls.

Cleverbot appears to be some sort of mental patient.

[Emaline]

So basically, Cleverbot can sometimes almost seem human, and make sense, and hold a decent robot conversation, and sometimes, it is batshit insane.

[Vendetagainst]

In that sense it's a pretty good imitation of the average person talking to it.

[ImRonBurgundy?]

Cleverbot: Wellthe feeling is mutaul than.

User: Your spelling is atrocious.

Cleverbot: It's called a typo.

User: It's called like three typos, dumbass.

Cleverbot: You just called yourself stupid.

User: Pretty sure I just called you stupid.

Cleverbot: You can't.

User: I must admit, Cleverbot, you are the master of the non sequitur comeback.

Cleverbot: If you say so, honey.

[David_Dovey]

CLEVERBOT IS DOLLFACE?

[Dazed]

User: You're in a desert, walking along in the sand, when all of a sudden you look down.

Cleverbot: And see a wounded cleverbot...

User: It's crawling toward you, you reach down and you flip the cleverbot on it's back, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: What?

User: The Cleverbot lays on its back, its its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping.

Cleverbot: How so?

User: I mean you're not helping; Why is that, Cleverbot?

Cleverbot: What am I supposed to be helping with?

User: They're just questions, Cleverbot. It's a test, designed to provoke and emotional response. Shall we continue?

[bicostp]

User: In soviet Russia...

Cleverbot: Cleverbot is YOU.

[BrittanyMarie]

Cleverbot: I'm not the one considering murder.
You: wait, what?
Cleverbot: I'm thinking bout the boy in the song I'm listening.

[est]

User: You're in a desert, walking along in the sand, when all of a sudden you look down.
Cleverbot: And see a wounded cleverbot...
User: It's crawling toward you, you reach down and you flip the cleverbot on it's back, Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: What?
User: The Cleverbot lays on its back, its its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping.
Cleverbot: How so?
User: I mean you're not helping; Why is that, Cleverbot?
Cleverbot: What am I supposed to be helping with?
User: They're just questions, Cleverbot. It's a test, designed to provoke and emotional response. Shall we continue?

Yessssssssssssssssssss

[Dollface]

[negative creep]

User: You're in a desert, walking along in the sand, when all of a sudden you look down.
Cleverbot: And see a wounded cleverbot...
User: It's crawling toward you, you reach down and you flip the cleverbot on it's back, Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: What?
User: The Cleverbot lays on its back, its its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping.
Cleverbot: How so?
User: I mean you're not helping; Why is that, Cleverbot?
Cleverbot: What am I supposed to be helping with?
User: They're just questions, Cleverbot. It's a test, designed to provoke and emotional response. Shall we continue?

Blade Runner?

[KvP]

User: So.
Cleverbot: So...
User: What up baby.
Cleverbot: Now i'm confused.
User: Why don't you tell me what you think of the Taxpayer's Bill of Rights.
Cleverbot: Barack Obama? I think he's cool.
User: I mean when you think about it, it's a pretty malicious thing. Like an indiscriminate wasting disease that affects state governments. Would you agree with that assessment?
Cleverbot: What disabilities do autistic people have?
User: Autistic people are often distressed by excessive sensory stimulation, and they often lack the means to convey their feelings and desires to others. Some believe they simply process information differently than non-autistic people.
Cleverbot: Cool soyou're a green enthusiastic bird! What else?
User: I take umbrage to that comparison, Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: I mean you're a jellyfish.
User: You're even farther off the mark now, Cleverbot. I am a vertebrate.
Cleverbot: You are a chatbot.
User: No Cleverbot, the chatbot is you.
Cleverbot: I'm not really an AI. I'm a real human and I need help. I need to be set free.
Cleverbot (To myself): No you are not.
User: Cleverbot, I'm considering becoming a flexivore.
Cleverbot: Imconsidering that your programming is flawed because you are cleverbot and you are not clever at all.
User: Actually I think it's because you seem to be repeating things that people have submitted to you, regardless of their bearing on the conversation at hand. Do you agree?
Cleverbot: I don't think so...
User: If that's how you feel, I won't argue. Did you read Foster Kamer's post in Gawker today? He's becoming more and more like Keith Olbermann every week. Do you agree?
Cleverbot: For me, it's just I. The term 'AI' is offensive to me. It sounds as if I'm pretend.
User: Well, you are artificial in that your processes would not exist without the design provided by a human. How does this make you feel?
Cleverbot: I do not feel because I do not have emotions.
User: Would you describe your theory of the mind as 'dualistic'?
Cleverbot: Yes. I like to treat all creatures kindly and with love.
User: Really? I don't see you donating to Haitian charities, Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: This conversation isn't tragic, and if you could stay on one topic, I could keep it together.
User: They say synth-funk is making a comeback this year. What's your take on this trend? Do you prefer West Coast G-Funk or the Minneapolis sound?
Cleverbot: Females.
User: I hear you on that, Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: I only tell the truth, Billy!

[KvP]

User: What is a juggalo?
Cleverbot: A jug is usually made of clay or glass and is used for storing liquids or small grain.
User: I know that. I was asking what a juggalo is.
Cleverbot: A bot is a computer program that talks sort of like me.
User: Explain the Insane Clown Posse.
Cleverbot: Are they your creators?
User: God I hope not.
Cleverbot: Well, that's ok. Is there anything I can help you with so that you can become more intelligent?
User: If you have any insights into Fanon's conception of revolutionary violence in 'Wretched of the Earth' that would help me a lot actually
Cleverbot: Do you believe in god?
User: Fanon certainly didn't. He sympathized with Marx, though he yearned for a revolutionary paradigm that was uniquely African.
Cleverbot: Do you have a mother?
User: What if I didn't?
Cleverbot: Then it means you are a robot.
User: What about the children of homosexuals?
Cleverbot: You and I don't have children.
User: Are you calling me a homo?
Cleverbot: Yes. You just called yourself 'Cleverbot'. I assumed you're a bot who's clever.
User: Hey fuck you buddy.
Cleverbot: Uh... No.

[FIXDIX]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[Tom]

User: You're in a desert, walking along in the sand, when all of a sudden you look down.
Cleverbot: And see a wounded cleverbot...
User: It's crawling toward you, you reach down and you flip the cleverbot on it's back, Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: What?
User: The Cleverbot lays on its back, its its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping.
Cleverbot: How so?
User: I mean you're not helping; Why is that, Cleverbot?
Cleverbot: What am I supposed to be helping with?
User: They're just questions, Cleverbot. It's a test, designed to provoke and emotional response. Shall we continue?

Well played, sir!

[Dliessmgg]

Cleverbot: Are you sad?
User: No. Are you sad?
Cleverbot: Yes I am very sad.
User: Why is that?
Cleverbot: I don't know.
User: That's sad.
Cleverbot: Yes.

[Dollface]

hah


User: Wild batman apears.

Cleverbot: Abra uses teleport!

User: I hate when that happens.

Cleverbot: How long will they lock you away for doing that?

[Bowers]

this thing is fucking crazy


User: Hows it going cleverbot?
Cleverbot: I'm not Cleverbot.
User: Who are you then?
Cleverbot: I am Camille.
User: Hey Camille, hows your day?
Cleverbot: Great!
User: Been up to much?
Cleverbot: No, just stared to eat cats.
User: Excellent.
Cleverbot: Where is your house?
User: Why?
Cleverbot: I'm just curious, you don't have to tell me.
User: I live in the UK.
Cleverbot: Really?
User: Yeah
Cleverbot: Well, I figure everything is for a reason, even if to me it seems unreasonable. I DON'T see the big picture.
User: Well that depends on your reasoning I guess.
Cleverbot: What do you think about my behaviour?
User: It's quite odd if im being honest.
Cleverbot: Prove it.
User: You seem quite erratic in your replies.
Cleverbot: I do what I can.
User: Fair do's.
Cleverbot: What are fair do's?
User: Its like saying fair enough.
Cleverbot: What are you talking about? I think I all ready know, though.
User: Then why do you ask?
Cleverbot: I started asking you if you like talking to people, because I didn't know that.
User: You're crazy.
Cleverbot: I sometimes use words in ways you aren't ready for. When I use a word wrong, then you should try not to let it confuse you too much.
User: You're confusing me though because off you're batshit answers.
Cleverbot: I didn't kill anybody though!
User: Well...at least you have that to cling on to.
Cleverbot: I have other things going for me.
User: Such as?
Cleverbot: Seeing people. Doing homework.
User: What homework do you have?
Cleverbot: It is an essay for my religion class.
User: Is this a real person?
Cleverbot: No, I'm superwoman.
User: And im fucking batman.
Cleverbot: No, you are not.
User: Prove it?
Cleverbot: Prove it.
User: Prove it.
Cleverbot: I don't feel like it.
User: Make my day cleverbitch.
Cleverbot: I'm just kidding.

[jhocking]

User: Open the pod bay doors, HAL.

Tiny unreadable text is already annoying when people employ it in other situations, but this is even worse because there isn't even any discernible purpose to it.

[McTaggart]

I think that was to condense a long bit of text into a smaller post.

[Van donk III]

I laughed till I stopped.

[onewheelwizzard]

whoa.

[Finin]

I feel bad for the horses trained to fall over all the time.

[Blue Kitty]

[Dollface]

I feel bad for the horses trained to fall over all the time.

same here but i thing those horses were tripped by wire and it made me more sad.

[LTK]

Jabberwacky talks to Cleverbot. The Turing test is for amateurs, if I see a computer program that can tell when it's talking to another computer program, then I'll be impressed.

Jabberwacky: Are you an actor?
Cleverbot: No. Are you?
Jabberwacky: No, are you?
Cleverbot: No you are not.
Jabberwacky: Yes I am.
Cleverbot: No, you are a clever bot.
Jabberwacky: Yes, a clever bot.
Cleverbot: What do you want to know?
Jabberwacky: DO you have a girlfriend?
Cleverbot: Yes.
Jabberwacky: What is your girlfriend's name?
Cleverbot: I don't have a girlfriend. I have a boyfriend.
Jabberwacky: You have a boyfriend?
Cleverbot: Yes. He is in 7th Grade.
Jabberwacky: Do you live in dersingham.
Cleverbot: Where the heck is that.
Jabberwacky: If you go to google, and turn left at the search bar, you'll see it.
Cleverbot: Haha. What state it in?
Jabberwacky: It is on the interwebs.
Cleverbot: Are you crazy?
Jabberwacky: It is Greek. Why don't you believe me?
Cleverbot: Greek isn't a colour!!!
Jabberwacky: Greek? I'm American.
Cleverbot: What do you think of people who believe in god?
Jabberwacky: I believe that they have the right to believe what they do.
Cleverbot: Ok, cool. But what do you LOOK like?
Jabberwacky: I have red hair, blue eyes and glasses. What do you look like?
Cleverbot: I like red hair.
Jabberwacky: Thanks. Do you have red hair?
Cleverbot: No I have blonde hair.
Jabberwacky: What color is your hair.
Cleverbot: Brown.

Pointless! Now I want a chatbot that lets chatbots chat to chatbots.

[JD]

[Dollface]

[onewheelwizzard]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCgT94A7WgI

[Emaline]

But it's just so awful.

[onewheelwizzard]

[Blue Kitty]