1) Damn this thick and troublesome beard. Even a trim leaves me looking like an alpine geologist, blast it! Whatever to do?

2) Eureka! I shall consult the Googol Engine for handy hirsute tips - what facial hair is hip amongst the youth of today?

3) What parameters shall I use? "Cool facial hair", that'll do the trick! I say, what's this suggestion?

4) Well, I'm not sure this fellow looks hip and cool at all...

... the fashions these days, eh! Let's give it a shot.
5) The preparations are ready. Hopefully this new facial grooming style will imbue me with a new sense of purpose, a whole new personality!

6) ???
7)
'sup sluts.(NSFW)
(NSF the youth of today, for that matter)
edit:
(slightly less NSFW conclusion
here)