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[valley_parade]

I've never heard it as an insult before, but I really want to now.

Even if it gets you in a knife fight?

[Scandanavian War Machine]

ridiculous  dream post, read at your own risk:

this morning before i woke up, i dreamt i was a giant. like, a huuuge giant. i was walking through arizona smoking saguarros like joints, when i got the munchies and decided to eat texas, but george bush jr. got stuck in my teeth and gave me bad breathe so i walked around the country looking for something to get the taste of ex-president out of my mouth, but nothing worked.

then i woke up drenched in sweat


i immediately knew it was gonna be one of those days

[StaedlerMars]

That is a pretty awesome dream.

[Patrick]

I had a dream that Patrick and I got in a knife fight on a bus because he called a black dude "Donut Hole".

Is that actually a thing? Is that a racist term?

In some parts of Oakland (which, amusingly, are the only parts I know), one is likely to get into a knife fight for any reason at all. I also could see how, in a pretty imaginative stretch, 'donut' could come to mean 'ass.' Therefore, literally, 'asshole.'

Dear blag,

I've basically been having the Best Week. 'Cept my sister was a bitch when I called her on her birthday (Friday) and my friend left his weed in the living room and my roomie's mom found it and threw it away. His own damn fault though for leaving it there though.

Whatever, last night I got to go to the city with Natalie, the girl I've been talking to a lot lately. We met some friends of hers for dinner on Fishermen's Wharf, where we got to pet a condemned crab before he went into the steamer. Then we all went to Ghirardelli Square. The dude giving out the samples was just like "Hey grab whatever you feel like, just leave the bin" and he had this GREAT BIG BIN FULL OF CHOCOLATE. So we each grabbed whatever (within reason!), thanked him, and left. It was pretty fuckin' rad. Also, tasty. Milk chocolate with almonds and almond nougat. So. Fucking. Delicious.

Went and walked through a couple art galleries that contained various bits by Picasso, Dali, Warhol, etc. and some of them were even originals, apparently. Natalie and I found one that looked like a ten-year-old had done it, and she made mention of her opinion. I looked for the label nearby on the wall and couldn't stop laughing when I found it. Totally a Picasso.

[Lines]

I've never heard it as an insult before, but I really want to now.

Even if it gets you in a knife fight?

Shut up, donut hole.

[sean]

hey yo girl im tryna lick yr donut hole, whats up chocolate icing?

[David_Dovey]

too far, man

[Lines]

hey yo girl im tryna lick yr donut hole, whats up chocolate icing?

D: D: D:

[Allybee]

hahahahah oh shit

I live in a house with 17 other people... at the beginning of the year we talked about the naked game, which is when you surprise someone else by being naked when they don't expect you to be naked. nobody has really been playing.

me and one of my housemates (a girl) literally just sat around naked in the house library for like 45 minutes, waiting to surprise someone. the first people to enter were like the manliest dudes we live with. they came in to give us pancakes and were really, really surprised. awkward/hilarious

(especially because I am not really okay with my naked body...)

[KvP]

Ah, college.

[Allybee]

I feel so uncomfortable. my friend is really skinny so now I can't go to bed, I'm trying to figure out if they were repulsed by my body or what

[JD]

Probably not.

[KvP]

If they were made uncomfortable, it was probably because they walked in on naked people when they did not expect to.

If by some happenstance they were repulsed by your body, that's their loss. Fuck 'em.

The burning question on my mind is: Jesus, is it really that expensive to live in Middletown?

[Allybee]

did you just look up prices(?) cause it isn't that expensive...

[Jimmy the Squid]

Man they were probably just really surprised because while, in theory, I'm sure the naked game is hilarious I'd guess that most people are not as comfortable with public nudity as they would like people to believe. Also now that they've seen you naked, it's pretty hard to unsee that (extrapolating from how you look clothed, I'm sure you're pretty rockin' naked).

Personally I try not to surprise people with my nudity. In fact usually I preface people seeing me unclothed with a short powerpoint presentation and a pamphlet so that they can be prepared.


Oh yeah, blog thread.
Today was pretty awesome. I had my first lecture in Counselling and Consultation and it was pretty awesome. Ok sure it takes me an hour and a half to get to the campus but whatever. Also I quit my job. I am now unemployed which is not great but hey! Also I have no money for textbooks. Shit.

[KvP]

did you just look up prices(?) cause it isn't that expensive...

Then why'd you move in with 17 people!

[Allybee]

I live in a mansion (sort of...)

[JD]

Personally I try not to surprise people with my nudity. In fact usually I preface people seeing me unclothed with a short powerpoint presentation and a pamphlet so that they can be prepared.

"Do not be frightened by the many tattoos."

[KvP]

I live in a mansion (sort of...)

Ah, I was gonna say, even in criminally expensive urban centers like San Francisco, 10 people to a house is pretty affordable.

[squawk]

GUYS

YOU FUCKING GUYS

I have been flipping THE BIGGEST OF SHITS for the past like who knows how fucking long because someone on tumblr linked to "justinbieberfanfiction.com" and laughed as everyone cried and OH MY GOD THIS IS THE WORST.

It's been a long time since I've been completely alone to freak out on something, normally someone is online but tonight everyone's just gone. I can't do this alone. I can't. I have to tell someone. Here is the desperate summary I wrote on my friend's wall. My life is ruined forever.

IN THIS FAN FICTION, a girl is at a justin bieber concert and she's in line to meet him where she gets his autograph and a picture and a hug. she goes home that night and discovers that he slipped his number in her purse. she calls him and they go on a date. that night, her daddy issues appear, and then she is supposed to go on a family vacation, but justin bieber swoops in and saves the day and takes her to the bahamas where he is performing.
there, they have awkward sixteen year old sex, and a PREGNANCY SCARE!!!!!!!! in which abortion is defined as "killing a precious, innocent baby".
and then the girl loses her best friend, because her best friend now views her as a "skank" and is like "don't talk to me anymore" because she had sex one time with justin bieber (HAHA, "ONE TIME").
and then they have sex for a SECOND TIME in which justin bieber uses the condoms that his agent "Scooter" had purchased for him.
then! justin bieber's FRIENDS come to hang out with the two of them! who say "i love you" to each other many times. and they mean it. oh by golly do they mean those words.
included in justin bieber's friends is his ex-girlfriend, caitlin, who, upon meeting the girl (whose name is allison but i didn't want to seem that invested in this to where i got to the point where i was referring to the stupid fucking characters by name), whispers something like "Justin bieber is MINE you whore" except "whore" is written as "wh*re"
and the girl is like, "why is she being so fake?"
and then justin bieber and his justin bieber friends go and play basketball.
and. i haven't read anymore than that.
i think i'm done.

[squawk]

I had some homework to finish tonight but I really really really do not know how to go on with life

OH ALSO I ONLY READ TO CHAPTER FIFTEEN (15) OF THIRTY-FIVE

[pwhodges]

Are you really saying you've read 15 chapters of that???

[squawk]

Nevermind, guys! The solution to going on with life turned out to be: alcohol

Except now i can't do my homework

Also (note that i am editin gmy post instead of double posting): chapters... they don't really... they're not really chapter length

like i think my summary there is like a chapter and two thirds in this particular instance)

edit 2--no, wait, that's not true. maybe my summary is a chapter length

[Lines]

I preface people seeing me unclothed with a short powerpoint presentation and a pamphlet so that they can be prepared.

I am very tempted to sig this.

I am housesitting for my mom (because she gets to go have fun in FL and get a tan) and last night was possibly the worst night to be alone in a house. I am not usually scared by thunderstorms, but holy fuck there was a loud storm last night and it woke me up. And then after I fall asleep again, I hear sirens. After freaking out that there might be a tornado (I did see warnings that there might be), I realized they were severe storm sirens, the stupidest thing on the planet. (I can tell when a storm is bad! It's pretty obvious!) Then I go back to bed and get woken up by my alarm an hour later. And today's schedule is work (in which I get to do some homework), class, meeting with people for a group presentation that is due Monday and I pretty much want to kill these people right now, maybe a meeting with my student teaching group, maybe running around the school looking for the professors who haven't responded whether or not they'll write me a recommendation letter, and then off to home, where I get to do MORE homework and write a letter for the prof who DID say yes, and then turn in my stupid grad application, which may or may not happen because of the other two profs and it's due tomorrow.

TL;DR - I didn't sleep and today is going to suck and I want to kill some bitches.

[SonofZ3]

We were under a tornado watch last night, and still am I think. I was kept awake by the thought that we only have like 5 grand insurance on this house, and that wouldn't even replace my fishing gear. I am now half seriously considering moving some stuff to the basement.

[BrittanyMarie]

last night my boyfriend's cat became obsessed with the buttons on my shirt. my shirt was wet because of her drool. what the fuck, cat??

[McTaggart]

My cat kept trying to chew my ps3 controller today. She's never had any interest in it before but today she was just going after it like it was steak.

It's weird because I pretty much never use that controller and it's taste can't have changed much at all.

[The Seldom Killer]

Have you been eating cheese while gaming recently?

[pwhodges]

Another milestone in my life, I guess: I have just submitted my formal application to be allowed to continue working past my contractual retirement date.  My retirement date falls the day before the law changes to prevent my employer retiring me against my will (which they won't do - informally, they are relieved that I want to carry on).

[valley_parade]

Shut up, donut hole.

FUCK DAMMIT WHERE IS MY KNIFE?

[McTaggart]

Have you been eating cheese while gaming recently?

Yeah, but it's been feta (which I eat with a toothpick most of the time) and I only ever use my arcade stick (I only play fighting games these days).

[Barmymoo]

Jimmy, much as I like the idea of Justin Bieber not being alive any more, I find it quite uncomfortable to watch him getting shot every time you post. Would you be able to change your avatar, please? (If everyone else thinks I am being ridiculous I guess I could just hide avatars or something.)


Today was the first time I saw any of the kids since last Saturday, and Baby Girl has grown so much! She is walking really well, she is definitely taller and bigger, she's more vocal and has more recognisable personality and responses. I can't get over how fast babies grow up. She's feeding herself (and the floor, and the walls, and the ceiling...) and sometimes even looks at things to see what they are instead of putting them straight in her mouth!

It is slightly saddening but also so exciting. I can't wait to have my own children and see the whole process. I think that's the main thing for me about having children - I get to see an entire person develop all the way from a tiny cluster of cells to a full-grown, functioning adult (providing they don't have some kind of awful accident or illness).

Oh shit I want to have children so badly It is like a physical lump I have to carry around all the time. It's like a rock in my chest. It is really inconvenient.

[McTaggart]

I am ok with Justin Bieber. He's not my thing I don't mind if he is yours.

[Barmymoo]

I don't mind him, but I wouldn't mind if he wasn't around either. I don't like his screaming fanatics, though. Regardless of this, I really don't like blood splatter

[David_Dovey]

May does yr Internet browser have AdBlock? You can just block that particular image if you want so it doesn't show up. I have done that with a few other avatars on here, that way you don't have to turn off all the avatars.

[Lines]

UPDATE: I heard back from my other two professors, so that's a weight off my chest. Woo!

However, me wanting to kill some bitches only got worse and I almost left school in tears. I hate this quarter and I hate being this stressed out and I hate people who just talk shit about other people and only spread negativity.

[Jimmy the Squid]

If it's making people uncomfortable I will change it. To be honest it's making it hard for me to see my own posts anyway.

[Lines]

Jimmy, I suggest going back to this one:

Shut up, donut hole.

FUCK DAMMIT WHERE IS MY KNIFE?

IN YOUR FACE. BECAUSE I PUT IT THERE. OH SNAP.

[valley_parade]

I thought we were friends, and you stab me in the face?

Fuck yo mixtape. I'mma make it all noise and drone metal.

[Christophe]

So a girl who I met at the bar on Friday (and invited over for a kickback at my friends' place the day after) is totally a Taniagänger, right down to being a nerdy grad student and having short hair. A girl who I met a few months ago was basically a southern-fried Andygänger.

Maybe if I wish really hard, I can find a Dovey!

[valley_parade]

Hey find a Linds-ganger and STAB HER FACE IN.

[Lines]

Hey! Don't make me make you a mix based on Lady Gaga and Adam Lambert! I WILL DO IT! Maybe I'll throw boy bands on there out of spite.

And possibly this guy.

(Please don't make me, I don't want to. Your mix is pretty good as is.)

[Stephquiem]

I think you just described my musical nightmare.

And oh God, my ears are bleeding.

[Lines]

See, I like Lady Gaga and one of Lambert's songs is stupid catchy, but I wouldn't inflict my guilty pleasures on other people. Especially not Shane. He's not THAT much of a donut hole.

Hurr hurr.

[tania]

i don't think you're really a lesbian anymore when you're busy to the point that both your social life and sex drive have dried up and withered away into dust months and months ago

[Christophe]

These women are also known as "raging Lesbians", Chris.

Well no wonder that I got that girl's number while she was mid-grind with some other lady.

(Technically a mutual friend we had asked if she could give me her number so I could invite her to the kickback the day after, which she agreed to and said that I could get it from him. It's the most fucking roundabout way that this happened, but it did. I guess it's half a point.)

[tania]

really though i do sincerely hope your new grad student lady tania friend likes her life more than this grad student lady tania friend likes her life, which is to say i hate my life so much right now why did i decide to do grad school this is so hard i don't even

[Inlander]

i don't think you're really a lesbian anymore when you're busy to the point that both your social life and sex drive have dried up and withered away into dust months and months ago

I prefer the term "post-sexual".

[Christophe]

Also, speaking of--

"raging Lesbians"

[Spike]

It didn't wither to dust, it just went dormant like a volcano.  One day you'll be asleep in your bed and then , BAM, lesbian explosion out of nowhere.