At the risk of sounding horribly naive & sheltered:
A lot of bi people have a preference for one gender or another, actually. It's not always a 50/50 deal. (If that's what you were referring to.)
No, I meant that if everybody except for the Kinsey 0s and 6s were bi, shouldn't there be a lot more people who openly identify & live as 'bi'? Your number on the K-scale is one thing, how you live and what you identify as is another is what I meant? (obviously the terms overlap, but are they identical?)
It’s called “bi erasure” — bisexual people don’t exist and if they do they’re weird freaks who can’t achieve fidelity because they would still be attracted to the other gender (the one their partner doesn’t have) and so be inspired to cheat relentlessly.
Or, that’s how they are commonly portrayed in media (when they are at all), so most bisexual people either ignore half of their preference or deliberately don’t express themselves as such when they are looking for a partner.
The worst part is that publicly bisexual people regularly get harassment and abuse from both “straight” and “gay” individuals and groups, because they “won’t pick a side” are “secretly gay|straight and pretending” and worse which I will not repeat here.
That's ... all manners of daft & cruel!
Sometimes people don't know they experience attraction for a particular gender. I've read a bunch of anecdotal stuff about how a lot of bi and pan women didn't realise their finding other women aesthetically pleasing was attraction for a long time, due to the different socialisation of girls and boys. It's much more acceptable for women to compliment each other than it is for men, without people thinking there's something sexual or romantic to it. I've heard a lot of stories about women saying they confused liking a woman's body shape or outfit for wanting to be like them when they really wanted to be with them.
Women also are given more leeway socially for experimentation which can lead to, "I'm a straight woman who sometimes gets romantic or sexual with other women." Not that anyone is obligated to identify a certain way due to their experiences.
[...]
You know, that's
sort of how it feels for me, albeit very rare & attenuated - I 'get' that type of same-sex attraction, as in: Having heard my 'inner commenter' going:
"Gee, I'm wondering if your looking at that guy-butt is really due your finding it 'aesthetically pleasing', Mr. JustanArtCritic, or if ..." (Yes, sometimes I'm having discussions with people in my head - all sorts of interesting folk in there, don't judge me!), but if you'd put a guy and a gal with cute butts in front of me, there'd be no competition or confusion
at all.
Which is why I figure that I
might be a Kinsey 1.05, or even a 1.18, but don't really see myself as 'bi'. Not even 'bi-curious', truth be told. And I wouldn't apply the label to myself, not even in private - not out of fear of public reprisals (though yes, I'm not curious about
that part - Maybe I'm a bit naive, but I'm not daft. Most of the time, at least ...) - but because I always figured that 'bi'
belongs to the people who make that choice for themselves. Like:
"Kinsey is the type of food you might find interesting at any point in your life - straight, gay and bi are where you invite your sweetheart for dinner"Not 'Euwwwh', more like ... respect for other kids toys belonging to
them? (I grew up with a baby sister. Toy-ownership was a
very important part of our upbringing ...).
I wasn't aware of bi-erasure and ... yeah, that's nasty shite.
And all manners of stupid.