I've always felt its a choice to be offended by what someone else says about you, like when you let someone else offend you you're basically giving that person power over you and I make sure no one has power over me...except my wife and I gave that freely (or I didn't have any choice in the matter)
I am sure other people here can and will be much better at responding to this, but here is my take.
By your logic, everybody can behave as much as a disrespectful dipshit as they want, because hey, the onus is on the one being disrespected to not feel offended, right? No need for you to have respect for anything or anyone's wishes then, such a copout.
If I come up to you and your wife and start hurling insults at her and disrespecting her, I assume you would not be offended then right, nor your wife, because that would give me 'power' over you?
Of course I could argue that your assessments with regards to clothing, looks, name, etc. are all subjective and therefore can and should not be used to decide how you want to address them, but it's really even simpler than that.
The simple question really is: in what way are you negatively affected by being respectful to another's wishes? The answer in this matter here is, of course, not at all. It's simply a matter of deliberately ignoring them just for the sake of ignoring them. Frankly, it looks more like trolling.
Have a nice day