Here, let me explain more thoroughly by what I mean about a lack of sympathy for people who are having to deal with other people's mental issues (which I agree are self esteem issues are not necessarily pathological, but it is still on the list of things that we generally fall into this trap over)
I've had a lot of relationships with people who have had various issues. Depression. Self-esteem. Anger. Social phobias. Sexual issues stemming from abuse.
I have struggled with depression and self-esteem in the past, but for the most part, I've worked through it. For quite a while, I've been a well-adjusted adult who has a handle on their life.
When people who have issues lash out, people excuse it based on the issues they have. They get to act badly and it "isn't their fault, they are struggling with things".
On the other hand, if you don't react perfectly to every single thing they do, you get called "emotionally illiterate" or told that the things you did are "stupid and useless." People don't say "Wow, you got put in a bad situation and you tried your best, sorry that it didn't work out, I hope things go better." The sympathy isn't there for the person who has to try his best in a shit situation, instead, they get a list of what they did wrong. It's your failing. Every single time. You are considered to have failed. I just think we need to watch how we say things like that.
Is it some projection? Of course it is. All narratives are going to have some projection. But seriously, imagine yourself in a position where you get dealt a shit hand, you try, you are cut off, you never get to even finish your thought, and all people are talking about is how "he is jumping up and down on a mine" or how dumb what he is doing is. And you can say "Well we aren't talking to someone's face, this is just a fictional situation", but how much do you want to bet at least one person reading this thread has been put in a similar situation in the past?
(I will point out, that this isn't universal in a sense. There are definitely people who fall on the other end, but I've found that, especially in the more liberal, more "aware" groups, that sympathy for people dealing with mental issues gets so high, that people who are having to try and support those people are not given nearly as much sympathy.)
EDIT, some notes to point out what I mean:
1. It was 9 posts into this thread before someone expressed anything other than Dale being incompetent. And even that was just a mention of having "some" sympathy.
2. It was 11 posts in until someone actually said anything resembling that this was a difficult position he was put in, and even in that post the person describes things as "I still can't imagine how he could have reacted worse" (paraphrased).