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Musician jokes!

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Bastardous Bassist:
Okay, as far as I can tell, this hasn't been done before (I did a search), so let's just start posting musician jokes you know.  I have a whole load of them, so I'll start off with some of my favorite ones:

Q:  How do you know when a singer is at your door?
A:  He can't find the key and doesn't know when to come in.

Q:  What's the difference between a musican and a large pizza?
A:  The large pizza can feed a family of four.

Q:  What's the difference between a dead saxophonist and a dead skunk in the road?
A:  There are skid marks in front of the skunk.

Q:  How is a viola like a messy lawsuit?
A:  Everyone is happy when the case is closed.

Q:  What is the deffinition of a quarter tone?
A:  Two oboes playing in unison.

Q:  How do you know the trombonist's child is on the playground?
A:  He can't swing and doesn't know how to use the slide.

Q:  How many violinists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A:  One, but as soon he changes it ten others will change their own bulbs faster and more elaborately.

Q:  What do you do when a drummer is in your back yard, bleeding?
A:  Stop laughing and shoot him again.

I've got a few longer ones that I'll post later.  For now it's ya'll's turn!

normz:
What has 3 legs and a dick on top?

A drum stool *boom chik* :P

Misereatur:
two musicians and a drummer enter a bar..

Q: how do you now when the stage is leveled?
A: the drummer is drulling from both sides of the mouth.

I'm a bass player so i used to know loads of drummer jokes.
i'll try to recall how the rest went



btw, I'm new here, hi.

Gryff:
How do you know when a drum stool is level?
There's drool coming out of both sides of the drummer's mouth.

How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
10. 1 to hold the lightbulb in the socket and 9 to drink until the room spins.

What do a drummer and a calculator have in common?
You have to punch information into both of them.

What do you call a drummer who just broke up with his girlfriend?
Homeless!

edit: damn, beaten to the first one.

Valrus:

--- Quote from: Gryff ---edit: damn, beaten to the first one.
--- End quote ---


Except you spelled it correctly.

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